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The Relentless (First) Apprentice – Reality Showtime + Trump’s Bio (Satire/Rhyme) Bill Rancic

FIRST RELENTLESS APPRENTICE

The Relentless Apprentice Show starring Donald Trump, “Ask the Trump Man.”  Find out if Mr. Trump gets stumped.  Reality showtime in a satirical rhyme.  It’s great entertainment!

What’s the difference between Ronald McDonald the party clown and The Donald of “Big Apple” town?

Read all about The Donald’s rise to fortune and fame including his beautiful dames.  Donald Trump, “The pro who knows the best road to success”

Get Trump’s Bio + the first “Apprentice Show” with Bill Rancic.

© Copyright 2009

Lyrics created by (Francke) the Yankee

aka The Jester from Westchester

All Rights Reserved


Posted by admin on December 20, 2008 under Apprentice Show (Donald Trump) Satire/Rhyme, Celebrity Rhyming Biographies (Satire) | Be the First to Comment

The Paris Hilton Story (Celebrity Biographies – Satire/Rhyme)

MIZ PAREE GOES ON A SHOPPING SPREE

The Paris Hilton Story rhymed in sexy time.  May we have a night in Paree? Is “Miss Sexpot” hot or not?  Have you been down to London town?

How about some spicy sexy romance in France where the femme fatales (dangerous women) lock their Frenchmen in the corral?  Hey femme (woman) come on in and play.  Paris’ game is fortune and fame and dangling her young men on a chain.  Can this dame be tamed?

Paris loves to put on a sexy show.  Now she’s acting like Marilyn Monroe.

Imagine if Paris was President, Iran would be putty in her hands.

What a shame the dame was arrested at the Wynn Resorts in Las Vegas with possession of felony cocaine.  A good lesson for naughty Paris who was put on probation including a $2,000 dollar fine and 200 hours of community service.  If the sensational heiress violates any of the conditions she will get a one-year jail stretch.  Because of this latest incident, Paris has been banned from promoting her new clothing line in Tokyo, Japan.

Now let’s get back on the road with Paris and Nicole from “The Simple Life Show.”  Francke rhymes some of the zany episodes.

Whataya know there will be a new reality show “The World According to Paris” on the Oxygen network with Charlie Sheen’s wife, Brooke Mueller, Paris the dipsy heiress, co-starring her mother, Kathy and Jennifer Rovero, friend and photographer.

Paris’ “that’s hot” trademark lands on Hallmark.  The greeting card company was sued for using the catchy sexy jingle.

From the “Simple Life” to a “Quiet Life” with her new younger 21-year-old Spanish model boyfriend, River Viiperi.

This satire piece is a sexy rhyming treat!

© Copyright 2010

Lyrics created by (Francke) the Yankee

aka The Jester from Westchester

All Rights Reserved


Posted by admin on under Celebrity Rhyming Biographies (Satire) | Be the First to Comment

The Kings of Bling-Bling (Rhyming Celebrity Biographies – Satire)

THE KINGS OF BLING-BLING

Rapping the rappers in rhyme time.  Read all about The Kings of Bling-Bling the guys who have everything from shoes that shine to clothing lines to restaurants where you can dine and wine.

Rappers flash their diamond rings, bracelets and necklaces that dangle on sparkling bling-bling strings.  It takes a lot of talent to rhyme n rap tyme. Rappers explict lyrics tell a story of sex and crime.  Sometimes they rap and touch their peck.  This has nothing to do with self-respect, it’s the girls that can’t wait for a rapper to undress and show their bare chest.  Yeah!  It’s great to be a dapper rapper.

Enjoy the rest of Francke’s piece — an interesting and informative story on “The Kings of Bling” starring Diddy King of the City, Jay-Z the man to see, don’t miss Luda, Ludacris.  Eminem who started a new trend, “50″ who makes a lot of sense, Dr. Dre knows what to say while Snoop has his dogg days rapping away changed his music style to reggae including his new name to Snoop Lion-Hearted and Rapper Nelly who’s a hell of a fella.

© Copyright 2010 – 2012

Lyrics created by (Francke) the Yankee

aka The Jester from Westchester

All Rights Reserved


Posted by admin on under Celebrity Rhyming Biographies (Satire), Rap n Rhymes | Be the First to Comment

Hip-Hop will never Stop (Rhyming Celebrity Biographies – Satire)

THE SUPERSTARS OF RAP N HIP-HOP

Read all about Usher and how he got “caught up” in some romantic girl stuff.  Have you seen the creative Miss Demeanor on tour?  Love to watch Missy Elliott tell it.  Lil John has enough crunk juice to break all hell loose. The Beastie Boys are just not makin’ a lot of noise.  “Notorious B.I.G.” a guy who lived for the gig.  Lil’ Kim, the gal with the racy pasties has gone from jail bars to “Dancing with the Stars.”

Let’s make room for the Grammy-winner rapper and BET male hip-hop artist with lots of tattoos.  His name is Lil Wayne.

You’ll enjoy Francke’s rhyming piece on rap ‘n hip-hop will never stop.  It’s definitely here to stay no matter what people say.  This is the new generation who’ve made rap ‘n hip-hop a super sensation.

© Copyright 2010

Lyrics created by (Francke) the Yankee

aka The Jester from Westchester

All Rights Reserved


Posted by admin on December 28, 2008 under Celebrity Rhyming Biographies (Satire), Rap n Rhymes | Be the First to Comment

“Peace of Me” Britney (Sexy Pop Queen) Rhyming Celebrity Biographies – Satire

BRITNEY JEAN SPEARS

It was Brit’s schoolroom charm that turned us on.  Miss Pretty “Teen Pop/Dancing Queen” got on the scene and did her thing.

Here’s a girl that was raised in a small southern town called Kentwood.  We all knew she would become a teenage superstar.  After all, Britney is still the best by far.  Holy cow wherever you are.

The fans revered Spears from Star Search to a Mouseketeer.  When the show closed she lost her mousey ears and went into tears.  Miss Spears thought it was the end of her singing career, but went on to achieve international stardom.

In 2004, Britney married her school pal Jason Alexander who she just adored.  The Las Vegas Chapel Wedding didn’t last long.  What went wrong?

Eventually Britney found the perfect mate in K-Fed.  Guess he was great in bed.  Britney and Kevin’s two-year marriage would end up in divorce court.

Brit’s ex-sex-partner, Kevin Federline tries to rap.  K-Fed’s act should be rapping in the sack.  Kev’s singing career is going nowhere, although he might be ready to once again take the wedding vows.  K-Fed has been on the prowl for a new gal.   He’s currently dating 6 ft. blonde bombshell ex-volleyball star, Victoria Prince who K-Fed says is a great person.  She maybe having his baby.  K-Fed is not happy.

Now let’s get back to Britney who surprised us with “Womanizer.”  She plays a sexy office worker who loves to entice the guys in a copy room and the bedroom.  Ms. Brit knows how to whip it up with the perfect mix of  “exotic n toxic.”

Did you hear the rumor that Britney Spears is cooking Jewish meals for her new boyfriend manager-agent, Jason Trawick.  This Jewish guy loves Matzah brei.  Brit’s not hot for “bagels and lox.”  It’s Borscht and sour cream for this sexy queen.  Should Britney go “kosher” and shop at the Jewish grocer?

German fans are pissed at Brit.  Her lip-syncing and overall performance was a “hit and miss.”  Now Brit’s on their “shit list.”

Britney Spears shows off her sexy rear at the “Teen Choice Awards.”  Let’s applaud Ms. Spears for a great comeback career.  In the midst of it all, her two sons, Sean and Jayden were swearing as Britney was looking over the “goodies” and “freebies.”

American Idol Jordin Sparks will be singing like a lark when she joins Britney on her “Circus Tour.”  What more could anyone wish for?

Have you heard the latest word?  Britney was voted the “Best Celebrity Mum” by a UK company.

Brit can’t get away from lighting a cigarette.  It helps her kick those former bad habits.  Her dad is hanging around just in case she falls to the ground.  He’s the key to Britney’s sobriety.  Kevin Federline is still on the sidelines.  He will fly to Brisbane, Australia as the primary caregiver for his two sons, Jayden and Sean Preston.  Britney can do no wrong.  She’s “Stronger.”

Brit blows two-hour Australian show.  Fans run out shouting, “Britney you’re lip-synching.”  We think you stink!

“It’s Brit Bitch” and her fans are all hyped up since she’s got her new iPhone and iPod application.  Britney as always will be a super sensation especially since her new video “3″ made it to the top #1 spot on VH1.

Britney sends her manager-lover Jason Trawick packing when he declined her marriage offer in Sydney.  She’s winding up her Australian tour night clubbing with no hubby.

Ms. Brit returns to the States.  She’s looking great.  Lately Britney has spent $700,000 upgrading her California hacienda.

Britney is seen on the beach in Hawaii.  Brit is in a yellow bikini hugging her boyfriend, Jason Trawick.

Britney is now the cover girl for Candies.  Spears is not only adored by her fans,  she’s one of the top winners at the 2010 Virgin Media Music Awards.

Attorneys for Britney file court documents to keep her personal and medical records highly-confidential from Internet search users who can potentially reap enormous amounts of money.

Brit surpasses Ashton in Twitter hits.  Ms. Britney is now the “Twitter Queen.”

Britney’s new smash hit music video lands in the “Quicksand” featuring Lady Gaga on her Platinum album “Circus.”  She’s worth it!

Sexy Pop Queen does not want her two boys in the entertainment industry.

Britney was spotted on one of her bad hair days looking a bit messy.   She definitely should have covered that bald spot from shaving her head by wearing a scarf or a hat.  The Pop Queen still deserves a pat on the back.

The buzz around town is that Britney did a guest stint with the “Glee” dream team.  It has been confirmed that the sexy pop queen is making a cameo appearance on an upcoming episode with John Stamos.  Wanna see Britney/Brittany play Madonna on “Glee?”  Maybe Brit will perform some of Madonna’s dance hits.

Is Spears acting weird or does her bodyguard have a hard on?  Who is this brute?  Former bodyguard files lawsuit alleging sexual harassment and other charges against the superstar.

The pop singer denies allegations that she told ex-beau, Jason Alexander that boyfriend, Jason Trawick beat her.

Her new single, “Hold It Against Me” undeniably makes Britney the “Sexy Queen of Pop” as it tops #1 on the Billboard Hot #100 spot and VH1.  Britney is being sued for stealing Bellamy Bros. 70s rock lyrics.  “Hold It Against Me” seems to borrow some of the wording from their country song, “If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me” versus Britney’s pop song “If I said I wanted your body now/would you hold it against me?”  Did the brothers get ripped off by Britney?

Wow!  It’s coming March 29th Britney’s new album “Femme Fatale.”

Glitter Twitter! 29-year-old Britney is this week’s winner (02-11-2011) as the top pop Twitter queen surpassing news of the Egyptian uprising, the Superbowl with Christina Aguilera’s missed “Star Spangled” lyrics and teen pop singer, Justin Bieber.

Pop Queen has been an avid icon of gay rights, but definitely “a lover of men” putting her sexy body on the cover of “Out” Magazine.  Why we love Britney?  For all the shit she takes the pop star always makes it to the top of the charts.  We love her pop music for fitness.  She never tried to play an instrument or make a country album.  Looks like “Out” Magazine thinks Britney is “Number One.”

Congrats Pop Princess!  This gal’’s “Femme Fatale” is sixth chart-topping album to hit #1 on Billboard “200″ chart in its opening week selling 276,000 copies.

Sexy Britney kicked off “Femme Fatale” tour on June 15th in Sacramento, California.  The pop star sang her famous tunes wearing skimpy glittery underwear sitting on top of a giant guitar and rode a motorcycle while the fans went wild.  Britney had been dealing with Enrique Iglesias quitting the tour and Nicki Minaj coming on board.

Brit sued by ex-body guard Fernando Flores for $10 million who says she regularly exposed her sexy pop twat, had gas attacks and didn’t bathe for days.  Her habits were gross and Flores believed Britney was under the influence of illegal and non-prescription drugs.  Pop singer has responded to the brute’s lawsuit saying “He’s a liar.”

On August 28th MTV “2011″ VMAs pays tribute to the amazing Britney.  She was presented the day before with an “MJ Video Vanguard Award” on Michael Jackson’s “52nd” birthday honoring her lifetime achievements for fabulous choreography and stunning fashion to music videos.  Britney was the first winner for “As the World Ends” from Femme Fatale album in “Best Pop Video” category.  She now boasts five VMA victories.  The show was broadcast from the famous Nokia Theater in LA with Britney and Lady Gaga cross-dressed as manly “Jo Calderone.”  Gaga told the audience how she was inspired by Britney at the beginning of her career in New York City’s lower east side struggling as a songwriter.  Britney thanked MTV, including her management team, boyfriend Jason Trawick, fans and family.

Fans rave in Columbus, Ohio as sexy pop queen brings her 5-year-old son, Sean Preston onto “Femme Fatale” concert stage giving him a kiss on the cheek.  It’s definitely a treat and an exciting week for Spears’ sons as her ex-husband Kevin Federline welcomed a new addition to the family, a baby daughter Jordan Kay with girlfriend Victoria Prince on August 15th.

October, 2011 finds Britney with flabby belly dancing around on “Femme Fatale” tour at London’s 02 Arena with Backstreet Boy Howie D.

On December 2nd, 2011 Britney’s celebrating her “30th” Birthday.  Brit wraps up her “Femme Fatale” world tour in Puerto Rico with her engagement to Jason Trawick.

After making guest appearances on “How I Met Your Mother”  Will & Grace” and “Glee” Britney is hoping to be a guest on “Modern Family.”  Now we hear Britney wants to be on Broadway’s “Smash” hit and apparently has met with producers.  Go for it Brit!

Jersey Shore’s Pauly “D” hooking up with Britney from August 17 – 25th for Femme Fatale tour.

Britney & Madonna collaborate on new single “Girls Gone Wild” – Will Joe Francis find some way to sue Britney?

Brit may be postponing her wedding to Jason Trawick.  Lawyers are trying to stop pop star from testifying for “breach of contract” lawsuit against Sam Lufti her former manager.  The other side says if Britney marries her sweetie pie she could testify.  Britney and Jason could be having a low key Louisiana wedding at her Kentwood mansion.

It’s for real Britney working out a deal to be a judge on “X Factor.”  They’ve offered her $10 million, but she wants more.  X-Factor and Brit finally settle for $15 million.  You deserve it!

Brit sells Beverly Hills’ mansion for a little over $4 million and ready to find new home with handsome hubby-to-be Jason Trawick.

Spear’s ex-hubby Kevin Federline’s Auntie Daisy Story is writing her own erotic novel titled “Pop Baby Krissy Doucet” which is based on nephew’s marriage to Britney.  She’s promoting her project by an online contest for which the winner will be getting one of the couple’s wedding invitations.

Britney is hoping Demi Lovato the teen queen will be her fellow partner judge on “X-Factor.”  Whataya know Demi is now rolling in “X-Factor” dough.

Brit celebrates “Cinco de Mayo” at house party in Brentwood, California with friends, family and fiance’ Jason Trawick.

From hot blonde to baldy, Brit gets rainbow extensions over Las Vegas weekend.  She looked like a “Pow-Wow” Native American Indian.  Brit also got a set of bad tattoos, a strange Chinese symbol on her hip that was suppose to say “mysterious” and then a God tattoo on her neck in Hebrew which was mispelled so she got it removed.  Isn’t it hard to remove God?

Britney walked off “X-Factor” set during auditions after a singer went off key singing her 2011 hit song “Hold It Against Me.”  The show continued without her and all the pop star could say is for goodness sake I just had to take an “X-Factor” break.  Now Brit is requesting all kinds of goodies in her dressing room like 34 designer dresses, loads of Doritos, Diet Coke, chicken, potato salad plus magnolias and her own beauty team which includes a massage therapist every week could lead to Simon Cowell screaming!

Shocking X-Factor’s low ratings, the reality show may not renew Britney’s contract.

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge dismisses defamation case for libel and breach of contract by Britney’s former manager Sam Lutfi against her parents and caretakers.  Lutfi had not proven any of his allegations.

Spears hooks up with Will.i.am with a new “Scream and Shout” clubby single.

Everyone wondering if Brit is still getting married to Trawick.  Rumors have it that Jason Trawick is quitting his relationship with Brit!

“Happy Brit Day” 31-year-old Pop Princess (Sunday, December 2, 1981) Miss Sweet Louisiana.

Brit topped Forbes’ List as highest-earning women in the music industry surpassing other female powerhouses Taylor Swift, Rihanna and Lady Gaga.

X-Factor wants to get rid of Britney for her lousy performance doing absolutely nothing but being boring!  In the meantime Mz. Britney has confirmed that she’s “working hard” on a new album.

Britney quits “X-Factor” Season 3 as a celebrity judge after receiving $15 million in goodies!  On the same day “Toxic” Brit and 41-year-old fiance’ Jason Trawick her former manager end their short-lived relationship.  They’ll remain friends, but it looks like Trawick was a dead end.

BritBrit filthy rich.  Viva Las Vegas!!!!  Here comes the real deal.

“Scream and Shout” new club track will.i.am and Britney let it all out!

Who’s Britney’s new handsome “Be My Valentine” young mystery man?  His name is David a 27-year old researcher working for a law firm in Atlanta.  Singer was spotted over the weekend playing golf with her new man at Sherwood Golf Club who she probably met through friends.  Britney also loves to play with balls as David is an avid golfer, but far from wealthy.

Singer’s daddy claiming that his daughter “Myah Marie” who has a knack to sing just like Britney filled in for many of the pop queen’s tracks and allegedly only pocketed $1,000 per song.  Wrong!  If this was true she’d be getting more from each song.  Lying fill-in chick trying to make fast buck off of rich Brit.

Shocker! Britney shows up as a hottie brunette at Elton John’s “Oscar” party.

Britney is having a swinging time on the driving range romancing her new beau David Lucado!

Two lovebirds were seen enjoying the weekend in Sin City.  Then pop queen boarded a plane back to LA with gold bling around her left finger.  Did Mz. Brit get hitched at Viva Las Vegas?

Britney seen grocery shopping with her beau David Lucado a smitten kitten.  We wonder if her new man is handy since she needs a friend to help her with everyday errands.  Indeed he’s handy, but is he handsy?

In-between being sexy and the Pop Queen, Mz. Britney announcing her summer smash musical video catchy tune titled “Ooh La La” for small Smurfs2 creatures where Brit’s adorable boys Sean Preston and Jayden James have cameos.

Rich Brit doesn’t have to worry about her conservatorship as Andrew Wallet and Jamie Spears her daddy are looking after it with SJB Trust accounts through Morgan Stanley Smith Barney.  Britney is sitting pretty!!!!

Brit’s former manager and once upon a time fiance Jason Trawick steppin’ out with tattooed girlfriend.

Multitasking Britney finding time to be a superstar and mommy bringing her lucky doggie to son Sean’s soccer match as younger son Jayden watched entire game from the sidelines.  The lady wants another baby!

On July 3rd, blonde beauty Pop Queen tweeted to her fans about “eighth” upcoming album due out by end of the year which will.i.am is a producer.  The “2013″ album is voted by Billboard.com poll as most anticipated event of this year has taken its toll on Britney who was feeling a lot of pressure.

Pretty Britney officially signed close to $20 million two-year contract with Planet Hollywood in Sin City.  They’ll be plenty to cheer about as the place is being renovated to accommodate 4,500 seats with debut of Brit’s shows beginning week of New Years.  Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry attend Britney’s Las Vegas opening.

Who’s the snitch that leaked my “Work Bitch?”  Britney releasing new fragrance “Fantasy Twist.”

Happy “32nd” birthday Britney! You’ll always be our sexy pop queen.

Britney spreads her angel wings and visits Children’s Hospital of Orange County, California for charity.

Mz. Brit’’s new “Alien” warm-up vocal gets Internet preview.

Brit’s kids are no longer wearing bibs.

* * * * * * * *

© Copyright 2011 – 2014

Lyrics created by (Francke) the Yankee

aka The Jester from Westchester

All Rights Reserved

Stay tuned to the rest of this rhyming piece on Britney’s road to glory story.  Her “ups and downs” until she finally came around.  Britney performed internationally on her “Circus World Tour” with her sexy moves on the dance floor.  Gimme Gimme More!

Posted by admin on June 20, 2009 under Britney "Sexy Pop Queen", Celebrity Rhyming Biographies (Satire) | Be the First to Comment

Whataya know about J.Lo? (Latino Rhyme in Satire Time)

JENNIFER LYNN LOPEZ

(From the city blocks to flashy rocks)

“WHATAYA KNOW ABOUT J.LO?”

Loves judging singers for the next American Idol

Jenny would always go with a different beau.  Did she try to “hold you down” Fat Joe?  Well, she fell under the spell of Marc Anthony.  Bet you don’t know he’s not related to any Egyptian family.  In actuality “Mark Antony” was attracted to Queen Cleopatra, but she certainly would have been no match for Jenny Lo who’s so beautiful from head to toe.  Right Fat Joe?

On June 4, 2004, Jenny from the block and singer-songwriter, actor-producer, Marc Anthony were secretly married.  It was the third time around for the bride who wore a glamorous ivory lacy Vera Wang gown and a flowery crown with studded million-dollar jewelry.  Marc Anthony wore a suit by “Armani.”

New twin tots on the block

Baby joy! The mom is doing great with a girl and a boy born on Friday, February 22, 2008.  Emme and Max are the new twin tots on the block.  Marc and Jenny can’t wait to dress up their little tots in cute shoes and ruffled socks.  The latest fad for the mom and dad is a J.Lo designer diaper bag with burping bibs, lots of kids’ toys, a playpen and fancy cribs.  Couple got $6 million for tots’ photos.  They put the money into a trust fund rather than giving it to charity.

From Castle Hill to the Hollywood Hills

Jennifer deserves all the praise.  She was born on July 24, 1969 and raised in the Castle Hill section heart of the South Bronx.  Her mother a music teacher and father a computer specialist.  J.Lo’s parents were born in Puerto Rico and chose to run a strict Catholic household.  The mother and father are absolutely thrilled when their daughter took off for the Hollywood Hills.  Her two sisters, Lynda and Leslie are musically inclined.  Jennifer had singing and dancing on her mind.

Nicknamed J.Lo also known as Lola became an American actress, singer, dancer, fashion designer, record and television producer.  She’s been voted one of the sexiest Latin women on the planet.

Jennifer Lynn Lopez the little girl who grew up on Blackrock Avenue in the Bronx, New York played all kinds of games on the city blocks.  Little did J.Lo know she’d grow up to be the hottest Latin singer and actress.

The fabulous Jennifer Lopez first auditioned as a dancer on rap music videos.  She made her mark climbing to the top of the charts with R&B, Pop/Rock, Hip-Hop, Latin Pop, Dance-Pop and never stopped.  Jenny worked hard for those flashy rocks.

A Latin comes to Manhattan

After attending one semester, Jenny decides to drop out of Baruch College in NYC. She works, takes dance classes and performs in Manhattan’s hot night spots.  When Jen first came out in Living Color she gave “Fly Girls” a whirl.  A career in dancing was not exactly her cup of tea as much as acting.  Jennifer quickly climbed the ladder to stardom in her first leading role in movie “Selena” a biography about slain Latina Queen of Tejano, a rising American-Mexicana singer.  This was her dream come true as Jennifer Lopez became first highest-paid Puerto Rican from The Bronx to make Hollywood history in the land of opportunity.  Jen’s album went solid platinum.

She meets dance-choreographer, Cris Judd who would be her second husband on the set of “Love Don’t Cost a Thing.”  It was more than a fling.  They wound up marrying.  Her love is forsaken.  Jenny’s heart was broken.  If love don’t cost a thing then why did Jen pay $19 million a pretty penny to her ex-hubby?  There was no prenup so he got big bucks!  That’s the way it goes, a story of love and woes.  First husband Ojani Noa wants to write tell-it-all-book how he hooked up with J.Lo.  In April, 2006 Jennifer wins lawsuit against Ojani Noa preventing him from writing the details of their life together.  In the summer of 2007 an arbitrator ruled that Noa should pay J.Lo around $545,000 for his plans to write tell-it-all-book.

Cuban-born Ojani Noa and his girlfriend Claudia Vasquez who has possession of home video when Lopez was married to Noa from February, 1997 to 1998 whom she met at a Miami restaurant working as a waiter includes some embarrassing racy photos and a scene where Noa spanks J.Lo.  Before they got married, Ojani Noa signed a confidentiality agreement with Jennifer.  Now Noa says he gave his girlfriend Claudia Vasquez the home video to sell for a movie.  J.Lo is appealing the decision of a Los Angeles Superior Court judge to allow release of intimate home video of Lopez and her ex-husband Noa filed by plaintiff-petitioner Claudia Vasquez.  The court ruled in favor of plaintiff-petitioner who is planning a meeting to hopefully seal a deal.

Happy Couple Split – Seven Year Itch

Brokenhearted Mark Anthony said his marriage just wasn’t working.  For Marc it was love at first sight.  He told J.Lo you’re gonna be my wife.  Then from out of nowhere shocking news about the happy couple who revealed they had been struggling for years attending marriage counseling.  When a marriage can’t be saved love lands in the grave.  Seven Year Itch – Marc Anthony, 42 and Lopez who is also 42 split after months of arguing.  Duo ditched 7-year marriage in July, 2012 due to J.Lo’s commitment to Scientology, but some sources say Marc might have been harassing Jenny.

J.Lo the Latino bombshell named by People Magazine as “World’s Most Beautiful Woman” can dance the night away and Anthony has nothing to say.  The power couple reported their combined income at $350 million.  In California marital assets are split 50/50.  It’s now hot news that Marc Anthony owes $3.4 million in tax bills.

Marc and J.Lo will still go on with their new upcoming reality talent show “Q’viva! The Chosen.”  It’s Latin competition filmed in English, Spanish and Portuguese.  Jen will be starring in a new romantic comedy and returning as a judge to American Idol.

Marc says Jenny needs to see a psychiatrist for all the in and out relationships.  Jenny was seen with her ex-boyfriend Diddy in NYC.  The sexy Latino also had a fling with actor, Ben Affleck before marrying Anthony.  Meanwhile National Enquirer says Marc Anthony is getting ready to write a $14 million tell-it-all book on his life with ex-wife.  Representative for Marc Anthony says gossip magazine is false story.  Lately Jenny has been seen with sexiest man alive “The Hangover” actor Bradley Cooper canoodling.  Bradley’s mommy doesn’t like Jenny.  J.Lo seen smooching at the “AMAs” with her backup shirtless hottie dancer 24-year-old Casper Smart who appeared on “Glee.”

Marc Anthony shows ex-wife Jenny that he can also hook up with a 24-year-0ld Venezuelan beauty, model Shannon de Lima seen together smooching and hugging.  Jennifer gives new lover Casper $10,000 weekly allowance to paint the town.  Beau and J.Lo have been vacationing all over the world from Brazil, Miami Beach, Santa Barbara to Mexico.

J.Lo’s Commercials

Jennifer shows off her designer clothes at Kohl’s.  Jenny gets sexy as a Venus goddess for Gillette razors.  J.Lo’s Latino smooth and sleek hairstyle from L’Oreal.  The new generation of cool and wild thirsty girls starring J.Lo and Beyonce’ sipping Pepsi.  Guys get a thrill watching Jennifer test drive a white Fiat-Chrysler.  Then she gets out of the car dancing on the streets to the beat of her new “Papi” video.

Two New Movies

Now that Marc is not in control Jenny is getting her life back to her celebrity status role.  Besides music videos, Kohl’s designer clothes, commercials and the new season of “American Idol” Jennifer is doing a couple of movies “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and crime-thriller “Parker” where she strips naked down to her bra and panties.  Jenny is now looking for Oscar!

It’s no fun for Jenny at Connecticut’s Mohegan Sun

Performing “If You Had My Love” Jenny breaks down on stage reminiscing her romantic feelings.  Then she began singing “Until It Beats No More” where look-alikes of her previous ex-boyfriends, Diddy, Affleck and Cris Judd came on stage while the last couple performed a salsa reenacting J.Lo and Mark Anthony’s finale on American Idol.   As the emotional J.Lo began crying fans gave her a standing ovation.  Of course the evening could not end somberly when appearing on stage Puerto Rican rapper I’m so hood “Fat Joe” joined J.Lo singing their hit “Feelin’ So Good.”

J.Lo and Marc on Ellen DeGeneres Show

The dynamic duo do a little interview.  Marc cracks a joke about the time J.Lo smacked him across the head on their “Q’Vida” show.  J.Lo yells out “No I did not hit him that hard and wanted the audience to know when they were on the set it was a “sound effects.”  “Q’Vida” Director Jamie King puts his two cents in stating sometimes he has to be a mediator.  J.Lo and Marc will be in for lots of perks when their Spanish Reality Show comes to Fox network.

Jenny at “2012″ Oscars and Grammy Party

Jennifer wearing low-cut white dress flashing her sexy breasts at Oscars and Grammy Party with boyfriend, Casper.  Everyone was waiting for Jenny’s nipple slip.

Hottie Sexy Jenny in “V” Magazine

Hottie sexy Jenny gets all jocked up in boxing gear for “V” Magazine’s March cover issue sporting a skimpy white shirt and a men’s groin piece posing for a shoot claiming she can take a lot of punches in the ring and still keep on going.

Jennifer vs. Brooklyn Decker

She may be 42, but “American Idol” judge looks stunning in sleek physique, a neat ponytail, wearing new pink dress although fabric gathers around her waistline, black Hermes bracelet, hoop earrings and Gucci black platform sandals.  Jennifer is up against 24-year-old model-turned actress Brooklyn Decker who’s looking sharp from head-to-toe with same pink dress, less accessories, silver clutch and nude Kors strappy heels, but simple hair and makeup is an attention-getter so she maybe the winner.

“Dance Again” with Casper and Jen

J.Lo’s new steamy video “Dance Again” is in the top ten on itunes featuring Rapper Pitbull premiered on American Idol.  Sexy Jenny promoting hot video bares her toned tummy wrapping arms around dreamy 24-year-old dancer beau Casper Smart shirtless and blinded-folded with pink words “Love is Blind” written across silky black cloth.

Marc & Jennifer Perform May 26th in Vegas

Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez will be together performing Jamie King’s passion project “Q’Viva! The Chosen” a live show  May 26th at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas.

Jenny takes honey & kids to visit Easter Bunny

Jenny takes timeout from busy American Idol schedule to visit Easter Bunny with honey, Casper Smart, 3-year-old sweet twins Emme and Max for a special treat at the Hollywood Grove.

Birthday Truck for a F**k

On Friday April 6th it was Casper’s “25th” birthday and Jennifer surprised him with a Dodge Ram pickup truck.  That’s what he gets for a good f * *k?  Casper is a cute “smart” guy.  He could have been riding in style with a Mercedes, Ferrari or Porsche.  Latino J.Lo looks for “jeep deals.”

Marc Anthony Files for Divorce and Custody

Jennifer “My Love Don’t Cost a Thing” will soon be Marc Anthony’s destiny.  Her ex-hubby is asking for joint custody of twins Max and Emme.

Jennifer World Concert Summer “2012” Tour

We may be seeing her dressed in a sexy catsuit with lots of sequins, rhinestones and let’s not forget the handsome stud Enrique Iglesias when Jennifer takes to the stage this summer.

J.Lo “Forbes Power Gal”

J.Lo hits the top of Forbes celebrity power list with her new clothing line, fragrances, movies, gig on American Idol, upcoming summer tour, beating Lady Gaga, Rihanna and Oprah Winfrey.

Busy J.Lo planning to exit American Idol

It’s still a mystery whether J.Lo is leaving “American Idol” because she’s too busy making movies, summer world tour or wants more money.

Jenny in cute nude glittering catsuit

Pretty Jenny looks sexy in cute nude glittery catsuit on her world tour in Panama City.  The outfit was made by a Lebanese designer who seamlessly stitched several other costumes for American Idol.  “Hero” singer Enrique Inglesias will be joining Jenny.

J.Lo leaves “American Idol”

On Friday, July 13th J.Lo said goodbye to American Idol.  Doesn’t know if she could be there every single day with other commitments coming her way.  J.Lo is the second judge to go after Steven “Aerosmith” Tyler departed as judging wasn’t his cup of tea.  Diva Mariah Carey the new judge on American Idol who raked in a whopping $18 million will also be leaving.  Hip-Hop diva Nicki Minaj quitting to return to her music.  Keith Urban is returning next season.  Looks like Randy Jackson is returning for thirteen season as a mentor.

Jennifer sues former chauffeur

Jennifer files $20 million-dollar extortion lawsuit against former chauffeur Hakob Manoukian for threatening and blackmailing her, singer’s manager Benny Medina and ex-husband Marc Anthony.  Manoukian’s attorney who says he’ll “spill the beans” is allegedly suing for $2.8 million claiming his client was treated poorly and didn’t receive full salary.  Chauffeur signed a confidentiality agreement that prevents him from disclosing any personal info.  On Thursday, December 27th judge dismisses J.Lo’s extortion lawsuit filed against her former driver.

J.Lo’s “Dance Again World Tour”

Jenny will have to stick with less revealing outfits as she hits the stage for her “Dance Again World Tour” in Malaysia and Indonesia strictly Islamic countries.

It’s a “no-no” for J.Lo

Jennifer says “no” with her busy schedule to doing film on deceased singer, TV reality star Mexican-American Jenni Rivera who died in plane crash over a mountainous region in Northern Mexico.

Hot Mommy Celebrating Twins Birthday

Jenny a very hot mommy celebrated her two bundles of joy, Max and Emme’s 5th birthday on Friday, February 22nd with delicious homemade cupcakes.  At the same time her ex-hubby Marc Anthony celebrated his son Cristian’s 12th birthday from another marriage while Jenny’s boyfriend Casper and Marc’s ex-girlfriend Shanon De Lima also attended house party.

The Fosters and Anti-Gay Protesters

Jennifer Lopez’s production company has a new ABC Family sitcom “The Fosters” about a lesbian couple and their family grew anti-gay protesters.  Her show is attempting to redefine marriage and family.  Who knows what the outcome will be.

Jennifer gets “On the Floor”

Jennifer gets “On the Floor” for a duet with Chris Brown “Fine China” singer collaborating together for his album.

Celebrity Fight Night

Muhammad Ali presented Jenny with a humanitarian award for her charitable efforts at Celebrity Fight Night.  Singer and sister Lynda formed the Lopez Family Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the health and well-being of women and children.

Jenny’s Heart and Soul in Broadway Musical Role

Puerto Rican actress, singer and producer is competing with Thalia a Mexican singer to play the part of Cuban diva Gloria Estefan’s story of her journey to the U.S. in Broadway musical “Do That Conga.”

J.Lo featuring Pitbull “Live it Up” Sexy Hot Stuff

From the streets of Miami beautiful J.Lo is ready to go featuring Pitbull in a new music video “Live it Up” with some sexy hot stuff.

J.Lo and Verizon Phones

J.Lo will be opening a chain of 15 cellphone stores selling Verizon phones and services with a bilingual staff under website brand name “Viva Movil” where she is the owner and chief creative officer aimed at a growing market of Latinos.  The actress, singer and producer didn’t want to miss the chance of getting into wireless.  On June 15th grand opening of New York’s first store with others following in Los Angeles and Miami.

An Emotional J.Lo

43-year-old Bronx native wiping away tears emotional J.Lo says her dream came true as she always wanted to entertain, be a great actress and singer.  She first started out in “Living Color.”  Jennifer Lopez’s name is engraved on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Happy “56th” Birthday Mr. Tyrant President

Jenny in a skimpy white dress gets big bucks for singing Marilyn-Monroe style “Happy Birthday Mr. President” Turkmenistan’s dictator the most repressive Human Rights government who tortures people locking them up in abusive prisons.  Spokesman for J.Lo said had she known of such abuses the singer would not have attended the event.  So far no direct comment from Lopez.

J.Lo and Childhood Home

J.lo and her childhood home bring back memories.  During an interview for August issue of W magazine she points out the modest Bronx, New York two-story home where she grew up.  The last time she was there was when her mom and dad said they were separating after 33 years.  It’s like seeing someone from the past and hope it doesn’t last.  Looking back her childhood was dancing, sports and running the track.  Told her mom she wanted to forgo college and pursue a dance career so J.Lo wound up sleeping on a coach in the dance studio.  She hooked up in “Living Color” became a Fly Girl and moved to LA, but it wasn’t an easy transition for the East Coaster.  Jennifer Lopez hated LA for it wasn’t the same Bronx neighborhood where people walk the streets to a corner grocery store and cops on the beat.  Now that J.Lo has adjusted to LA she’s here to stay.

J.Lo on Thirteenth Season of “American Idol”

While P. Diddy says no to “American Idol” his pretty ex-girlfriend says yes to thirteen season.

Jennifer stars in the “Boy Next Door”

Jennifer is starring as a separated mother who gets involved with “The Boy Next Door” a teenage neighbor.  All hell breaks loose when she tries to quit the relationship.

Jen honored at March of Dimes Luncheon

Jen who has 5-year-old twins was honored with Grace Kelly Parenting Award at the eighth annual Beverly Hills Hotel March of Dimes luncheon.

Jennifer on March “2014” British Glamour Magazine

Jennifer on Britain’s Glamour Magazine March cover looking hotter and sexier since her relationship with boyfriend Casper.

J.Lo rules in Shades of Blue

Jennifer will rule the airways with her starring role as a detective and single mother in NBC’s new drama series coming in the fall of 2015 “Shades of Blue.”  Jennifer is executive producer and Ryan Seacrest co-producer of the cop show.

Appealing Book Deal

After being named icon of the year from Billboard “2014″ Music Awards, J.Lo gets book deal for memoir on World “2012″ Tour.

J.Lo splits up with Beau

J.Lo parts ways with sweetheart backup dancer Casper Smart over his sexting a transgender bikini model Sofie Vissa who threatened to sell explicit photos.  Lopez’ new attraction maybe “DWTS” Maxim, but she certainly has a crush on Dolce & Gabbana British model David Gandy starring in J.Lo’s new “Love” music video.

Jenny from the Bronx giving free concert

Rockin’ Jenny from the Bronx Castle Hill projects will be at Orchard Beach on Wednesday evening June 4, 2014 for free concert in Pelham Bay Park.

Lopez and Anthony finalize Divorce Decree

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony finalize divorce decree after three year separation Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Sandoz awarding joint legal custody of their six-year-old twin children.  It was agreed that Lopez will have her son and daughter most of the time while Anthony will be caring for them each month for one week.  The pair agreed that no child or spousal support was necessary.  Both singers also agreed that in the best interests of their children they would shield them from public spectacle, aggressive reporters and paparazzi.

J.Lo’s Boo-Boo

J.Lo falls while dancing on stage causing her a knee boo-boo!  All she needed was some band aids.  Thank goodness she was okay!


© Copyright 2011 – 2014

Lyrics created by (Francke) the Yankee

aka The Jester from Westchester (Satire)

All Rights Reserved

(Stay tuned for the rest of this neat J.Lo bio rhyming piece)


Posted by sheila on May 2, 2010 under Celebrity Rhyming Biographies (Satire), J.Lo Rhyming Bio | Be the First to Comment

GaGa Satirical Saga

GOO-GOO FOR GAGA?

SATIRICAL SAGA OF THE WORLD’S SENSATIONAL

SHADY PUSSY LADY

Why does this naughty lady change shades to hide her sexy almond eyes?  Gaga likes to tease the guys.  Puss-puss their temperatures rise.  Oo-La-La Gaga!

Do you dig Stephani the “skinhead” without a wig?

Goo-Goo Gaga, the controversial pop icon puts on thick long lashes, crazy head pieces and hairdos, wigs with bangs, zipper eye-popping accessories, masks to cover her face and ass, erotic tattoos, powdery eyeshadow, heavy eyeliner, dark eyebrows, glittery long nails, hot and cool shades of lip glow matching unpredictable outrageous smashin’ fashion.  Her “little monsters” love Gaga’s heel-less boots, zippered pumps and exotic clothes.  The lady knows what makes a fabulous sexy show.

Lately the pop star has gone crazy.  What do you think of Stephani the “skinhead” without a wig?  Does she look like a twig?  Is it a plastic cap?  If so, does it match her snatch?

Bitch Goddess

She became a “Beautiful, Dirty, Rich” bitch riding his disco stick and rose to fame playing the “LoveGame.”  Then this hot sexpot moved into the “Haus of GaGa” where she took a bath, showed her ass and rolled those googly eyes from side to side.  “Eh Eh” what else can we say Lady Gaga is on her way.

From “Poker Face” to hottie “Paparazzi” Gaga showed us how she can “Just Dance” out of a “Bad Romance” into a trance.

The sensational goo-goo doll is inflatable

Take off Gaga’s clothes from head-to-toe.   Poker-face.  It does all kinds of tricks.   Suck her “t – ts” while she takes a ride on your disco stick.

Snitchin’ Prison Bitches

Then the shady lady hooked up with another crook, Beyonce’ in the erotic video “Telephone.” (Lyrics in Swedish) Sexy Gaga who lands in the can is shown wearing dark butterfly shaped sunglasses and dressed in black and white low cut stripe jail garb with her boobs partially sticking out, then stripped down nude by two female prison guards (one security guard is Ms. Mann from “Scary Movie”) and thrown into a cell that looks like hell.  You can see a blurry view of Gaga’s genitals as she’s only wearing panty hose and a nipple-pastie on one boob as the white-trash guard says, “told you the chick didn’t have a dick.”  (Behind bars is “Alektra Blue” who’s a porn star.)

Hardcore Whores

The next scene shows Gaga dressed in chains wearing sunglasses made out of lit cigarettes as she mingles among some hardcore sleazy slutty dressed inmates in the exercise yard.  One inmate kisses and licks Gaga on the neck.  Unexpectedly a guard calls Gaga over the loudspeaker telling her there’s a telephone call from Beyonce’.

She leaves the yard, enters the jail and removes her dark glasses.  The inmates start fighting, kicking and slapping landing on their asses.  Blonde sexy Gaga has huge powder blue rollers in her hair, heavy makeup, painted ruby lips, black cat shaped eyeliner, white powdery puffy eyeshadow and thick eyebrows.  She’s the cat’s meow.  Then we see her sister, Natali Germanotta.  Gaga picks up the phone and says hello baby I can’t hear a thing, you’re breaking up on me, I’m kinda busy.  She removes her beaded motorcycle jacket and starts dancing down the jail hallway with other inmates in black beaded bras, bikini panties and high heel booties.  Lady Gaga looks great wrapped from head to toe in bright yellow crime scene tape.

Sizzling Gaga is bailed out of jail and meets up with her accomplice Beyonce’ in a yellow pussy van.  The two take off to this diner (taken from the show NCIS) where they plan to poison the patrons and this bad man.  These slick chicks arrive at the home style diner and get ready for some killing cooking.

Gaga in an apron and cool blue telephone baker’s hat is in the kitchen making sandwiches, flippin’ pancakes and whippin’ up a poison mix.  Bitchy Gaga comes out of the kitchen serving the patrons including the bad man tasty poisoned dishes.  The finale shows Gaga and Beyonce’ dancing in dresses and panties made of American-flag shredded denim.

By now all the patrons are dead as Gaga and Beyonce’ get into their pussy van heading to the open highway.  In the ending scene Gaga wearing a leopard-print catsuit is dancing.  The cops are on a massive search for these two murdering jerks.

Goth Dance-Pop

Miss Gaga inspired us with a gothic scene showing this gay Nazi soldier sitting in a chair wearing fishnet stockings and high heels followed by a band of close-cropped floppy black haired military men dancing to the music of “Alejandro” as Gaga relates to Roberto and Fernando.  Ooo-la-la here comes the pistol packin’ hot mama in a black “machine gun bra.”

Gaga walks alongside a coffin in a religious plastic habit with painted ruby lips.  Goo-Goo Gaga is sucking and swallowing black rosary beads.  We see the sexy lady in a horny gay orgy wearing a striking red latex crucifix on her top and crotch bikini.  The choreography is absolutely stunning.

Lyrics vs. Music Video

Perhaps you missed the difference between “Alejandro” lyrics and the new music video.  The song has a Latin (Mexican) beat while the video shows military men in Nazi Germany.  These fantastic song lyrics and music video are not a perfect fit.  What a pity Miss Gaga’s video is silly, but quite thrilling.

Hard-Working Creative Artist

Her “little monster” fans look up to Lady Gaga as a pop goddess.  She’s not only a great entertainer, but a damn hard-working creative artist.

Hurrah “Radio Ga Ga” to “Lady GaGa”

Stephani Joanne Angelina Germanotta born an Aries on March 28, 1986 is the hottest “dickless chick” American recording artist.  The 24-year-old singer-songwriter from Yonkers, New York scored 13 video music awards including an MTV European award on November 7, 2010 for the best artistic act at a live show in Madrid.

Stephani attended the Convent of the Sacred Heart in Manhattan turning out self-composed young ladies where affluent people like Gloria Vanderbilt learn to speak French and have a perfect vocabulary like William Buckley.  As a young child Stephani learned how to play the piano and took up dancing.  She began her career living in an apartment on Stanton Street in NYC while performing at the legendary nightclub “The Bitter End.”

Lady Gaga took her popular stage name from the British rock band Queen’s song “Radio Ga Ga” and rose to fame.

Gaga is an exhibitionist who loves to play the stand-up bass and press her toes on the piano.

GaGa’s “Fame Monster Ball” worldwide concert tour leaves fans screaming for more.

YouTube Views

Lady GaGa is the first artist to surpass other music idols with one billion views on YouTube for her popular videos, “Poker Face” “Just Dance” and “Bad Romance.”

GaGa Lollapalooza

Gaga might have been a loser few years back at Lollapalooza when she earned around $1,000, but now she’s all body and soul at $250,000 raring to go.  Wear a Lady Gagapalooza t-shirt and enjoy the show.  Gaga’s little monster motto “You can be anyone you want to be.  Anything is possible.”

GaGa’s Scoreboard

Gaga a shining star scores two times, one for the most-searched female on “Google” in 2009 and for the most consecutive weeks on the UK top 75 song chart.

Sexy “Twitter” Pussy Queen

Lady Gaga surpassed Britney in 2011 with 12 million following the pussy twitter queen.  Gaga thanks her little monsters.

Brute of a Lawsuit

Gaga says it’s not true and then countersued.  This gal is no fool.  She feels ex-boyfriend had her sign a bad deal.  Lady Gaga asks the court to void the unlawful predatory tactics.  Her ex-boyfriend, Rob Fusari claims Gaga rose to fame when he helped her land a record deal and created the stage name.  Fusari dropped the $30.5 million dollar lawsuit after both agreed to end their legal dispute amicably.  Her attorneys are admitting that Rob Fusari is a Grammy award winning producer and co-writer of the famous Paparazzi along with other songs on Lady Gaga’s debut album, “The Fame.”  Gaga is still into the love game.

Danced into a Bad Romance

This could be “phony-baloney” if it wasn’t from the kosher butcher.  Once again Lady Gaga pranced onto the stage and thrilled us all dressed up in a Franc Fernandez “Bad Romance” music video designer of the grotesque juicy meaty dress with matching hat and shoes looking good enough to eat at the VMAs.  Like a jerk she hands Cher her beef purse.  The showy Goo-Goo Gaga girl picked up one of eight trophies as the best dance music video for “Bad Romance.”  Then Gaga sung a few bars from “Born this Way” on her new upcoming album.  Oh my, there’s a banner that reads “Born this Way” with a unicorn and its outstretched horn tattooed on the side of her left thigh.

Notorious “Eat Me” Sexy Meat Dress

Crazy things make history like Gaga’s notorious ‘eat me” meat dress she wore at the 2011 Grammys in February.  This juicy piece of meat will be on display until February, 2012 at the “Rock and Roll Hall of Fame” in Cleveland, Ohio alongside Lady Gaga’s baby piano and talk of the town Giorgio Armani Prive’ Swarovski sparkling orbit gown.  Gaga joins the famous “Women Who Rock: Vision, Passion, Power.”

“Speechless” Dominatrix

It was a very sad day for Lady Gaga depressed and dressed in a black outfit with strings of pearly beads, wearing five-inch spike heeled boots looking like a dominatrix accompanied by her mother, Cynthia Germanotta and Gaga’s consoling boyfriend, Luc Carl visiting the Lincoln Park, New Jersey nursing home where her grandfather, 88-year-old World War II veteran Joseph Germanotta passed away.  In remembrance of her grandpa who failed to seek treatment for a heart condition, Gaga dedicated and wrote the lyrics to “Speechless.”

GaGa hits #7 “2010″ Forbes’ Magazine list

Lady Gaga hits super stardom as she shot to the 7th spot of the World’s 100 Most Powerful Women for “2010″ Forbes’ Magazine list.  The pop superstar makes upwards of $62 million a year with her outrageous outfits and crazy headgear, but some fans say she turns them off because she’s too coarse.

The Cocaine Dame

Cocaine inspired this dame.  Lady Gaga still admits to occasionally taking a drug trip, smoking pot especially when she’s working on lyrics.  Gaga wants her fans to understand they should not follow the same pathway to be great.  Don’t make my mistakes.

Not so fit junk diet

Skinny and sick from a junk diet, Lady Gaga makes sure her costumes fit.  The wealthy superstar does not eat healthy.  Her treats are candy and sweets.  She got extremely ill and was in and out of the hospital.

Gaga from Polaroid to Droid (Designer Power)

Is this the superstar’s future?  She just hooked up with Polaroid as their creative director.  What more can a gal ask for?  Gaga is also on Dr. Dre’s dream team creating neat heartbeats.

Joanne’s Italiano-American Fine Dining

Lady Gaga and her parents frequently stopped at Vince & Eddie’s restaurant living in the vicinity.  Art Smith who was hired as the top chef for Joanne’s cooked for quite a few celebrities like Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey.  The eatery on Manhattan’s upper west side opened in 1989.  Since they closed their doors in March 2011 due to financial difficulties Gaga and her parents invested in the restaurant which will be opening in December.  Italian-American fine dining is named after her father’s sister Joanne who died from the dreaded Lupus disease.

No cheers for “Bad Romance” as Song or Record of the Year

Gaga is rubbed the wrong way after “Bad Romance” is snubbed by Grammys in all top categories.  She  topped Justin Bieber with one billion views of the video on YouTube.  Gaga’s name rose to fame.  Grammys nominated and acclaimed Lady Gaga as the Best Female Pop Vocal Performance Artist.

Eight is Great! Tussaud’s Worldwide Wax Attack

The popular pop star worked hard to get into Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum from London to New York to Hollywood to outrageous Vegas to Berlin, Shanghai and on to Hong Kong.  There are now eight different spectacular worldwide replicas of her wax figure.

Gaga cheers “DADT” for gay equality

This is the year for Lady Gaga and other celebrities to cheer. Everybody is twittering, including President Obama that the Senate finally repealed DADT known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” military policy.  One step closer for gay equality.

“Hello, Hello” Gaga’s on a roll

Lady Gaga’s new song “Hello, Hello” coming to theatres on  February 11, 2011 will be one of the soundtracks for Disney’s animated movie Gnomeo & Juliet in 3D.

Showy GaGa on “Vogue”

Showy flirty sexy dirty GaGa is on the cover of “Vogue.”  Lady Gaga looks like a slim pink-haired mannequin.  From English to speaking perfect French Goo-Goo GaGa never refrains giving her monster fans outrageous weird costume entertainment.

Bold in Vogue

Lady Gaga comes out with bold remarks in Vogue.  Gaga says she’s the greatest singer, songwriter and costume designer.  By far her self-image surpasses the talents of any pop star like Madonna, Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, Beyonce’ and Rihanna.  Strange as it seems Britney just complimented Gaga’s stardom.  We all know Lady Gaga is talented and smart, but she did make some dumb remarks.

Gaga’s “2011″ Egg Grammy Drama

From meathead to egghead Lady Gaga hatches out of an egg onto the stage singing her new song “Born this Way” dedicated to the gay community.  Cheers to Gaga for receiving three trophies for “The Fame Monster” as Best Pop Vocal Album, “Bad Romance” for Best Female Pop Performance and Best Short Music Video even though “Fame Monster” did not win album of the year.

Disturbed by the “R” Word?

Lady Gaga got very upset but tried to be lighthearted when she used the word “retarded” responding to some mean allegations that her song “Born this Way” was a takeoff of Madonna’s “Express Yourself.”  Why would Gaga a brilliant songwriter with a wealth of music and lyrics she’s written want to copy from somebody?  Should this smart lady apologize for her “retard” remark?

Accept me “Baby I Was Born this Way” out in May

Gaga debuted a remix for her creative director Nicola Formichetti in a short film at the Mugler Fashion Show in Gay Paree.  The song will be on Gaga’s new album, “Born this Way” to be released in May.  In her video Gaga pops out of a shell born into a new human race that does not bear prejudice only justice.  Gaga’s single had an early release in 23 countries topping #1 selling one million copies.  Download the song on itunes and a portion of the proceeds will go to an anti-bullying charity.  “Born this Way” topped the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

Gaga and Starbucks Confection Connection

Starbucks plans new marketing strategy for gaining younger customers and Gaga wants to expand her brand.  The two landed a deal where Starbucks hosts a Gaga scavenger hunt on Facebook, Twitter and Foursquare.  The top prize winner gets special access to the pop star’s concert during her 2012 World Tour.  U.S. customers will be able to see Gaga’s new album and CD release “Born this Way” including downloading her new song “Edge of Glory” by watching an exclusive video from any Starbucks in-store network while tasting a cup of their favorite coffee.

“Edge of Glory” Story

Wanna know the real story about “Edge of Glory?”  Why is the building and streets empty?  Tempting video shows Gaga who actually lives in this apartment building dancing on fire escapes and on the streets.  People thought she looked and acted creepy with her crazy get-up and weird hairdo they moved.  This is the screwy “Edge of Glory” story.

Rah! Rah! Little Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga who was having a really bad day was sent a “You Tube” video of this little girl singing “Born this Way.”  Gaga who was so overwhelmed with tears in her eyes called Toronto’s Virgin Radio the next day.  This sweet petite 10-year-old girl named Maria Argon from Winnepeg who can sing and play the piano pretty well for her age sang “Born this Way” that went viral with over 5.7 views in just two days on “You Tube.”  Lady Gaga complimented Maria who was not only excited, but invited to sing with the superstar when she performs at the upcoming “Monster Ball” tour in Toronto.

Hey, it’s okay to “Perform this Way?”

Hey! Weird Al Yankovic were you “Born this Way?”  After Lady Gaga nearly had a fit she finally lets Yankovic hilarious “Perform this Way” do his crazy skit on “Born this Way.”  Yankovic pops out of a pink egg on stage clean-shaved superimposed as a woman in Gaga clothes.  Dressed in wild costumes, pancake makeup, changing wigs and headgear while dancing and singing Weird Al makes sure to hide his doohickey.

Yoga & Whiskey keeps Gaga Frisky

Gaga’s creativity comes from a daily diet fix of Yoga and Whiskey besides a lot of other stuff not to mess up.

Luc Carl’s new book, “The Drunk Diet”

Her boyfriend, Luc Carl a Manhattan bartender tells us how he lost 40 pounds in his new book coming out in 2012 published by Martin Press, “The Drunk Diet.”

Nude Scene in Purple Magazine

Gaga is raw hiding her nips on a skateboard.  The broad with class has a cute ass.

Emimem attracts more fans than Jackson and Rah! Rah! Gaga

Rapper Emimen attracts more fans on Facebook than Michael Jackson and Rah! Rah! Gaga.

Gaga Departs Target

Choreographer, Laurieann Gibson who creates Goo-Goo’s moves says Target will no longer market Gaga’s “Born this Way” album as her deal with Target was contingent upon changing their “anti-gay” position.  Target says it fights for gay rights.

Smarty Adam Lambert gets kicked out of Gaga’s birthday party

Smarty pants Adam Lambert gets kicked out of Gaga’s birthday party for being rowdy.  He wasn’t officially invited, but came along with the “Scissors Sisters.”

High-Heel Shoe Blues

Lady Gaga falls in Houston concert hall while leaping from a piano that burst into flames.  Nothing stopped this brave dame who lives for fame.  Her little monsters were surprised when Gaga continued singing “You and I.”

Monster Mother Elton John’s son Godmother

In mid-April, 64-year-old Elton John and his partner48-year-old David Furnish confirmed that Lady Gaga Monster Mother is the godmother to their4-month old son Zachary.  Elton and David have agreed that Gaga would be a good person to guide Zachary ’cause she knows everything about the music industry.

Lady (Gaga) Mary Magdalene wins over church controversy

Gaga plays Mary Magdalene in a “Judas” music video who she says God sent her the lyrics.  Lady Gaga says she is a religious person who would never hurt the church.  So why does “Judas” video show Gaga as a Mary Magdalene biker chick in a motorcycle brigade looking to get laid?

Gaga’s “Born this Way” to be performed on Glee

On April 26th, the cast of Glee will be performing a 90-minute episode paying tribute to Lady Gaga’s Monster hit song, Baby you were “Born this Way.”

Gaga’s School Bullying Blues

Gaga admits she was bullied in high school when she attended Convent of the Sacred Heart in NYC.  At that time in her life she didn’t know what to do when some classmates hanging around with boys outside a pizzeria threw her into a trash can.  Everybody began laughing, but the affected teenager never cried or told her parents how she was bullied because it was quite embarrassing.  She really couldn’t understand until Gaga got to know her fans and see similar struggles that made her a greater songwriter changing the pop star’s life for the better.

Wild “Bizarre” Style

Lady Monster Gaga and her wild style is on the May cover summer fashion issue of “Bazaar.”  Read all about Gaga’s sexy moves and views.  The story of fame and glory.  You certainly can get hooked on her actions and looks.  She has a heart of gold creating wristband bracelets benefiting the people of Japan’s tsunami and earthquake.  Speaking of plastic surgery, Lady Gaga values her hottie body.  Goo-Goo Gaga loves playing the piano whether sitting down or falling to the ground.

Gaga on Time Magazine World’s Top 100 Influential People

Lady Gaga hits the May 2011 issue of Time Magazine’s cover for the world’s most 100 influential people as a top pop performance artist.  Audiences crave her creativity, new musical vision and exciting passion for fashion.  Females and males of all ages are attracted to her presence on stage.  Gaga makes pop culture inspirational.

Gaga’s farewell song to Talk Show Queen Bee Oprah Winfrey

Gaga sings farewell song sitting at a keyboard that looks like an oversized golden shoe with a tribute to Talk Show Queen Bee Oprah Winfrey, a cultural icon revered by millions of devoted fans over the past 25 years.  Through sweat and tears she’s overcome her fears.  Oprah tells Gaga the superstar how she’s encouraged people to feel comfortable being born the way they are.

Gaga mentors “American Idol” top performers with penis shoes

You never know what you’re gonna get when Lady Gaga is on the set.  Gaga certainly never disappoints anybody.  Creativity is the name of American Idol’s game.  Gaga gave them all advice on how to sing, move and get into the groove while she was wearing shocking lucite penis high heel shoes.  The producers of the popular show say they never knew about Gaga’s sexy getup and tried to hide her shoes with the “American Idol” logo.  From Haley to Lauren to Scotty to James, they were all looking for fame.  At the end of their performance Jennifer Lopez, Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler praised the top four as the fans roared for more.  The “American Idol” title went to country singer, Scotty McCreery.

SNL Season Comedy Finale

How great can it get when there’s nothing but the best of Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg in a “Three-Way” skit on SNL’s comedy finale.  The audience got a kick when Gaga came on stage wearing a slick black latex pregnancy outfit bearing a big belly singing “Born this Way.”  Some people thought it was revolting, but Gaga is just promoting her artistic outrageous expression.  The song made a total of $1.1 million in sales for the popular Gaga.  Then the shady lady got into the mix with her new hit “Judas.”  This biblical baby brought in a lot of gravy for Lady Gaga.

Google Chrome ad the latest “Little Monsters” Fad

Gaga doesn’t have to holler to get her “Little Monsters.”  She just ran a Google Chrome ad that they could download “Born this Way” for under a dollar.

2011 MTV VMAs for “Born this Way”

Gaga in manly clothes dressed as “Jo Calderone” was praised as she won  two VMAs for Best Video with a Message and Best Female Video for “Born this Way” once again saying how she was inspired by her Little Monsters.  Lady Gaga thanked her fans for supporting Jo (Joe) Calderone for she couldn’t have done it on her own.  Doesn’t matter who you are whether gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, hey baby you were “Born this Way.”

Lady Gaga’s Marilyn Monroe at Hollywood Bowl

Lady Gaga puts on a spectacular tribute concert show for Bill, Hillary and daughter Chelsea celebrating former “President Bill Clinton’s 65th Birthday and Tenth Anniversary of William Jefferson Clinton Foundation” at the Hollywood Bowl all dressed up like a ho playing Marilyn Monroe.  Then Gaga got “saxy” with Bill dancing to the horny tune Edge of Glory.  It wasn’t long before Gaga got into a trance for a “Bill Romance.”

Gaga’s former Nifty East Side Rental Apartment for $1850

Who’s the lucky Monster?  Just think of the life you can live decorating Lady Gaga’s former nifty East Side rental apartment for a mere $1850 monthly.

Lady Gaga’s “peek-a-boo” Photos

Little Monsters are in luck as Lady Gaga’s 350 peek-a-boo coffee table photo book is now available for only $50.00 bucks.  Your dream come true by photographer, Terry Richardson for behind-the-scenes near nudity.

It’s a very Gaga Special Thanksgiving with all the trimmings

It’s not because the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock that Gaga decided to do a Thanksgiving special televised on ABC with family, friends and trimmings.  Gaga wanted to show the Monster fans some lickin’ Italian-style Thanksgiving dishes and serenade everyone with her fabulous lyrics adding a few new lines to “White Christmas.”  She also did a duet singing “The Lady is a Tramp” with Tony Bennett.  Then she sang wrong or right I’m gonna live my life and “Marry the Night” whether a loser, winner or sinner.  The lady’s choreography and exotic hairdos were stunning and overwhelming.  Gaga sang “Born this Way” announcing her foundation for anti-bullying.  At the end of a dramatic evening she sat down with Katie Couric for an interview where she was caught by surprise when her private Catholic High School teacher from Manhattan’s “Convent of the Sacred Heart” walked into the room.  Tears rolled down Gaga’s eyes when she discussed her father and late grandpa which inspired her to write the lyrics of a love story “Edge of Glory.”

Barney’s Hot Gaga “2011″ Santa Workshop

Lady Gaga loves to play with balls, but this time she’s painting the walls for a window display at Barney’s New York Luxury Department Store giving lots of holiday cheer this Christmas with her hot iconic “Gaga Workshop.”  A wonderland of entertainment for monster fans.  Displayed creative artwork on shopping bags printed with a merry ho-ho of Gaga-Barney’s logo.  There will be a variety of exclusive designer small gift items available for customers.  The phenomenal Lady Gaga is donating 25% of the sales to her favorite charity.

What will Gaga wear for “2012″ celebration in Times Square?

We all know Gaga loves to pull balls so now she’ll get the chance as a main attraction for “2012″ celebration in Times Square wearing a sexy silvery dress and jeweled mask dancing with New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg while confetti flies through the air and millions of people shout “Happy New Year.”

“Monster Pit” Born this Way General Admission Tickets

Gaga’s new bit is a “Monster Pit” general admission only ticket (not more expensive) no dress requirement code for seats within central area of the stage to see Born this Way.  Haus of Gaga treat for “Little Monster” fans arriving first and hung around all night to come back stage and meet me.

Oo-La-La Eau de GaGa “Monster”

In the Spring of “2012″ Coty Cosmetics will be launching a brand new GaGa “Monster” perfume.  Her “little monsters” can’t wait to hit the stores and sample a spritz.

East Asia not okay with “Born this Way”

East Asia does not favor Gaga flavor.  Conservative South Koreans are holding group prayers protesting Gaga’s “Born this Way Ball Global Tour” accusing the American pop star of supporting homosexuality and pornography.  South Koreans under eighteen have been restricted from attending concert containing “lewd lyrics.”  The two-hour show is canceled after receiving threats from Islamic Defenders Front about Gaga’s sexy clothes and sultry dance moves that would corrupt the morals of its youth population in the Muslim country.

Lady Gaga hit in the noggin

Lady Gaga accidentally got hit in the noggin with a metal pole by her backup dancer on stage in New Zealand for world concert tour.  She had a concussion, but amazingly finished the show performing “Born this Way.”  Gaga has been snoozing hopin’ to heal her bruise.

Alice Cooper Metal Trooper

Alice Cooper Metal Trooper was praised by Lady Gaga who loved his performance of “Born this Way.”  Gaga showed her appreciation by tweeting Cooper raving about the metal rendition.

Sexy Game of Fame

Nude sexy Gaga doesn’t mind tiny men crawling all over her pussy, titties and behind.  Lady Gaga is advertising her new “floral and fruity” fragrance eau de parfum for her Little Monsters hitting department stores in September.

Gaga Doll Drama

Lady Gaga being sued for $10 million by Bratz Dolls for not cooperating with the toymaker company.  A special Gaga dolly was supposed to be released now claims “bad faith” damages by the singer.

Stop in the name of nude “ARTPOP”

Her Little Monsters can hardly wait for Lady Gaga’s new album “ARTPOP” coming out in September on an iphone and ipad app which will definitely be eye-popping as she’s likes the idea of getting naked recording.

Slutty Game of Fame

Smelling like a slut can make Gaga lots of bucks.  This is Gaga’s new Fame perfume.  The megastar wants to be different from other celebrities who license their names on products, but Gaga gets involved in making and processing the actual tinted black liquid.  Gaga doesn’t think ladies need to smell interesting, but smell slutty.  Like after a long day they need their husband to say you make me feel sexy.  The slutty game of fame.

Gaga’s Cherub Tattoo debut for Fame Perfume

Monster fans and celebrities got a thrill watching Gaga “dressed to kill” taking off a sparkling top, black skirt and red wig appearing in lingerie with a thong getting a cherub tattoo in back of her shaved head inside a giant transparent bottle for debut of Fame perfume.

Gaga’s Fashionista Sister

Gaga’s little sister 20-year-old Natali Germonatta is a fashionista.  She’s made her fashion debut and is a student at Parsons The New School for Design.  Natali posed for digital fashion website wearing Alaia, J Mendel and Proenza Schouler designer lines of popular clothing.  Pretty Natali who very rarely steps out into the public eye was seen posing with some friends in her family’s New York City Italian eatery “Joanne Trattoria.”

My Darling Tony

Mother Monster hooking up with legendary crooner Tony Bennett on a jazz album including swinging band which was popular in the 1930s.

Gaga cancels “Born this Way” concert tour

Lady Gaga cancels “Born this Way” tour due to concert injury.  For fans who had tickets to remaining shows Gaga gave $30 million in refunds.  The singer complaining of chronic pain went through testing which showed she had a tear in her right hip is now undergoing surgery.  Alex “A-rod” Rodriquez the Yankees third baseman shares the same injury and surgeon gave Gaga a pep talk when they met at doctor’s office.  Monster fans are wishing her a speedy recovery.  Gaga is sitting pretty in a designer wheelchair.

Lady Gaga Pistol Packin’ Mama

Lady Gaga pistol packin’ mama plays Lady Chameleon in “Machete Kills.”  The femme fatale gal a sex bomb who knows how to turn the men on.

Allen West Not Impressed

Former Florida Republican Representative Allen West was not impressed with Gaga’s singing “Home of the Gay” instead of “Home of the Brave.”  After having served for 22 years in the Army alongside very brave men and women, I find her defiling our National Anthem reprehensible.  Quite frankly Mr. West Lady Gaga was just on stage trying to do her best as an entertainer.   Don’t think she meant to disrespect brave men and women who put their lives on the line fighting for our country night and day.

Lana Del Rey hits Gaga with Lotta Shit

Lana Del Rey has a lot to say about Lady Gaga as she throws the shit at Monster Mother in her new song “So Legit.”  Stefani you suck even though you’re making big bucks!  Honey you’re not funny.  Why is everybody going Gaga crazy?  How the f**k is your song in a Coke commercial?  Your taste was once exquisite.  Gaga’s “Little Monsters” strike back at Del Rey on Facebook and Twitter.

More Applause!

She wants more and more applause.  We adore the girl next store.  Don’t just pause, applause, applause for V Magazine’s x-rated pics of Gaga’s breasts and erect nips!

Lady Gaga poses in Latex Clothes

Gaga doesn’t need to pose in latex clothes.  All she needs is a hose!

Gaga to sing in outerspace 2015

Lady Gaga will prepare her vocal chords in outer space 2015 aboard Virgin Galactic shuttle.  Is this Gaga’s dream to serenade earthlings while orbiting the atmosphere?

Lady Gaga sings on Thanksgiving with Felted Muffets

Gaga pulls some strings on Thanksgiving singing with the felted Muffets and Elton John.  Joining the holiday show were special guests Kristen Bell and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Japanese company manufacturing sexy Gaga dollies

More applause for Japanese company making sexy Gaga dollies.  Will mommies allow their kids to play with these dollies?

‘G.U.Y.’ Eyepopping Greek-like Religious Ceremony

Miss Gaga plays a Greek-like goddess in this new 12-minute music video.  She drags her wounded body to Heart Castle in some type of ancient water-dancing religious ceremony which Bravo’s Andy Cohen and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills preside over while Gaga resurrects Michael Jackson who is recreated in Legos.

Gaga Poses with Red Roses

Gaga greets her “Little Monsters” arriving in a yellow cab trimmed with red roses as she poses in a birthday suit with a rose wig and pink red-laced platform shoes celebrating “28″ years on this earth performing at a NYC concert on the closing of famous Roseland Ballroom.  Gaga was joined by her favorite gentlemen actor Bill Murray and Late Show host David Letterman.

Taylor My Lover

Actor Taylor Kinney is definitely Gaga’s best friend and lover complementing each other.  They’ve been dating since first meeting in 2011 and it’s been sheer heaven.


© Copyright 2011 – 2014

Lyrics by (Francke) the Yankee

(Satire)

All Rights Reserved


Posted by sheila on August 3, 2010 under Celebrity Rhyming Biographies (Satire), GaGa Satirical Saga | Be the First to Comment

Clever “Never Say Never” Justin Bieber Teen Idol Dream/What’s the Bieb Got Up His Sleeve? (Satire)

CLEVER BIEBER

As a young boy at the age of two Bieber was eager to learn how to play the drums, piano, guitar and trumpet than play with toys.  A clever sixteen-year-old Justin Drew Bieber was destined to be a teen idol dream.

Young Justin, Parlez-vous Francais?

Born on March 1, 1994 in the diverse community of London, Ontario young Justin was raised in Stratford a city on the Avon River by his French-Canadian speaking single 18-year-old mother, Pattie Mallette.  Justin speaks the French language and still keeps in contact with his father, Jeremy Bieber.

He was first discovered in 2008 by Scott Braun who was longing for a new shining pop star and just happened to see his videos which attracted millions on YouTube.

Soon the young cute Canadian pop-R&B singer-songwriter-musician met one of the greatest entertainers, Usher in Atlanta, Georgia where he and his mom moved to.  He soon signed a joint venture deal with Raymond Braun Media Group and Usher.  Justin was on his way for a recording contract with the Island Records company after a lucrative offer by L.A. Reid.

Bieber Fan Fever

When Justin’s debut single “One Time” was released in 2009 it topped the pop charts globally.  More teenage girls were following another new single titled “My World” which was certified in the U.S. as platinum.

Hottie Justin was the first new artist to have seven songs from a debut album hit the Billboard Top List.  Two brand new songs, “My World 2.0″ released in March, 2010 preceding the worldwide January, 2010 top-ten single, “Baby” and the girls go crazy.

“CSI” Fall Guy

Justin plays the role of Jason McCann in the fall season of “CSI” whose suspected of purchasing a toy plane used in an explosion.  It doesn’t take long before he’s under interrogation.  Jason is eventually held in custody, but police find out it’s his brother, Alex who was buying supplies.  Justin’s acting is a work of art.  He’s cool and sharp.  His fans will have to wait and see when Bieber’s McCann returns in February.

Sweet Bieber Punch-Drunk

Sweet Bieber wasn’t punch-drunk when he allegedly slapped or attacked a 12-year-old boy.  It was supposed to be fun and games at Vancouver’s Planet Laser, but instead Justin Bieber tried to avoid getting shot at in the midst of a laser tag game and while running away he accidentally hit another kid.  Did the Canadian Mounties file charges?  It’s hard to say whether they will since the other young boy had minor injuries.

Justin thrills the girls with his Rubik Cube skills

Justin gives the girl’s chills and thrills with his Rubik skills.   He’s in to win it in less than two minutes.

Pray it Stays

Fans are not that crazy for Justin’s new song “Pray” as they were for “Baby.”  It doesn’t seem likely that “Pray” will break fans hearts and top the music charts.

Justin woos fans to Google

These days there’s nothin’ more popular then the stunning Canadian singer, Justin Bieber.  The kid with the cute hairdo hit the top spot of Google’s ‘Zeitgeist’ list of most popular searches in 2010.

More than One Billion Fans hooked up to YouTube/Facebook

More than one billion fans got hooked on Justin’s YouTube video and his Facebook, but Rapper Emimem and Rah! Rah! Gaga are liked better than Bieber.

Diddy’s White Lamborghini

Diddy gives 16-year-old Justin his Lamborghini for his “16th” Birthday.  Bieber called his bluff and got the good stuff.

Charming Rihanna

16-year-old Justin tried to charm 23-year-old Rihanna to go out on a date, but it didn’t go well as the R&B singer turned down young Bieber.

Mini Bieber Boy Toy

Fans can now buy three kinds of Justin Bieber singing dolls, playing instruments all dressed in casual clothes with his neat hairstyle.

Bieber Giver

Bieber knows what it is to live in poverty.  He and his mother suffered hard times so Bieber is giving back to society by making donations to charities.

Willow and Justin together in 2011

It’s pretty Willow Smith joining Justin Bieber’s European “My World Tour” kicking off in the UK on March 4, 2011.  The fans should be in seventh heaven.

Selena got the hots for Justin’s Wiener

Selena Gomez and Justin have been seen together.  Is Selena hot for Justin’s wiener?  Actually Selena and Justin were not on a date.  They met for pancakes.  Both of them were performing in the same place.  So let’s get the story straight.  Selena likes Justin because he’s a good kid.  Amid all the gossip it’s just innocent bliss.

Justin and Selena in the Caribbean

17-year-old Justin and 18-year-old Selena were seen kissing and hugging in the Caribbean.  Are they dating or faking?  Bieber thinks Gomez is amazing!

“Baby Baby” First Anniversary

“Baby Baby” it’s your first anniversary.  Justin’s “Baby” was let loose in January, 2010 sending fans into a crazy frenzy.

Bieber’s “Never Say Never” 3D Movie

“Never Say Never” a 3D movie about Justin’s childhood will be coming to theaters February 11th.  Bieber fans should be in seventh heaven, but disappointing weekend box office reviews show Adam Sandler’s new movie “Just Go With It” climbed to No. 1 beating out Justin’s concert documentary.  After all is said and done Justin Bieber’s “Never Say Never” in 3D grossed almost $70 million since its release to movie theaters.

Bieber’s latest album “Never Say Never – The Remixes” released in February was certified platinum in Canada and the USA.

Justin’s fans were angry after learning jazz bassist and singer Esperanza Spalding won Best New Artist of the year award at the Los Angeles, California 53rd Grammys.  Harry Connick, Jr. told the ladies of  “The View” that Justin should have won Best New Artist award as his talent and personality lifted sales for the record industry.

Bieber is no poor loser

Even though 16-year-old Justin Bieber did not receive a Grammy which he says was terribly disappointing, the teen idol is definitely an NBA All-Star game celebrity when Justin got an amazing three-pointer shot.

Rolling Stone glows with Justin Bieber on the cover

The February issue of “Rolling Stone” glows with sexy Justin Bieber on the cover.  Justin discusses his lifestyle as a teen sex idol.  He says sex is best when you’re in love with the right person.  Justin never intends on becoming an American citizen as the health care system in Canada is much better.  He’s not sure what party to vote for.  Since the last tour Justin’s voice has been changing.  His vocal coach says the pop star’s range will improve eventually.

Young fans flock to see Justin’s new golden locks

Chop! Chop!  On February 21, 2011 off came the golden locks. Justin clippings were donated to ‘The Gentle Barn” who save abused animals and use them to help disadvantaged kids.  Bids on ebay.com for Justin’s strands landed more than $40,000 grand.  Will Justin’s fans boo or woo his new hairdo?  Enjoy the “boy-toy.”

Tussaud’s Wax Attack

Wax figure of cute Justin Bieber with his new sexy hairdo is coming to Madame Tussaud’s Museums in New York, London and Amsterdam.

Justin may visit Hef’s Playboy Mansion

Justin is glad he’s invited to Hef’s Playboy bunny pad with his dad.  The only condition is that Justin won’t be able to fool around with the bunny crowd as teenagers are not allowed.  Last year Justin was disgusted with rumors that Playboy offered his mom Patricia $50,000 to do a nude scene in their magazine.  His mom is beautiful and adorable with high morals.  Hefner, his fiancee and the playmates are all looking forward to meeting Justin Bieber and his father, Jeremy.

Happy 17th Birthday “Sexy Boy Toy”

On March 1st Justin, the teen idol dream turns seventeen.  He’ll be celebrating with Selena, his gal pal.

Justin tours overseas – Disney’s Selena bored

Is Justin pissed?  Selena, ex-boyfriend Nick hug and kiss.  The 18-year-old Disney beauty who was recently seen with slick Nick Jonas says she’s just enjoying his company.

Israeli Paparazzi cross boundaries

Justin not happy with Israeli Paparazzi.  They are interfering with Justin’s religious privacy.  You think they would have the decency to let me walk down Jesus’ path without following.  People wait a lifetime for the opportunity.  Why would they want to take it away from me?

Justin gets sick on Asian World Tour trip

It’s the real stuff as Justin throws up his guts.  For sure he’s seriously ill and might have to cancel the rest of his world tour.  Justin has got some chest infection.  He needs some rest and relaxation.

Justin’s new movie with (Mark Wahlberg) Marky Marky

Justin is planning a new album and movie with Marky Marky.  Neither Bieber or Mark Wahlberg will be singing in the movie which is about a “reluctant mentor in inner-city surroundings.”  Justin has some acting experience as he starred as the “CSI” fall guy.

Best New Artist “2011″ Billboard Music Awards

Justin who tries his hardest was voted as best top new artist got a kiss from his sweet petite girlfriend Selena.  Bieber was pleased when he won a trophy for a variety of six categories at the 2011 Billboard Music Awards.  Selena Gomez has a hot schedule with mall tours across America for her new summer movie, “Monte Carlo.” Disney star falls ill after Jay Leno “Tonight Show” interview and lands in the hospital.  Selena admits she got sick due to her crappy eating habits.  Lately skinny Selena has been seen in a hot bikini.  While on tour in Boca Raton, Florida cute Selena was spotted visiting Universal’s “Wizarding World of Harry Potter.”

Bieber scores at “August 2011″ Teen Choice Awards

Bieber who scored for Best Male Artist at Teen Choice Awards winning 4 trophies must have had ants in his pants flashing his drawers when pop star caused an uproar making his way to the stage as fans applaud.  Justin was introduced by his buddy Sean Kingston and lanky model Tyra Banks.  Naturally before receiving honors he hugged girlfriend, Selena.  Preaching a little religion to his fans he thanked God and his family.  Bieber also won trophies for ChoiceTwit, Choice CSI TV Bad Guy and Choice Teen Male Hottie,

Death Threats Mess

Selena Gomez death threats have become an obsessed Twitter and Facebook mess.  It all started last December when Bieber and Selena vacationed in the Caribbean.  Then rumors of Selena having Justin’s baby went viral.  For awhile the turmoil died down, but when photos appeared showing the happy couple in Hawaii there were more death threats over the Internet.  Justin and Selena had been dating frequently, but they publicly stated it was just a friendship.  It was at the 2011 Billboard Awards that music fans saw Justin and Selena kiss that showed an affectionate relationship.  Justin also posted a Twitter picture of him and Kim Kardashian stating it’s my girlfriend.  When kim received death threats Justin told his fans he was only joking.  At the time Kim was engaged to NBA star Kris Humphries who she married in Santa Barbara, Calfornia then in 72 days Kim went to divorce court.

“Someday” perfume for fruity girls around the world

Not a scratch in Herald Square attack.  While Justin was in NYC to debut his new perfume “Someday” at Macy’s a guy got out of line and jumped the barrier tackling Bieber pushing him down onto the ground.  Bieber was shaken up, but brushed himself off and headed into Macy’s department store.  Proceeds from Justin’s sweet smell of success “Someday” is going to charity.

Bieber “Baby Face” Driver

Bieber gets stopped by Florida cop.  Hey “baby face” driver what are you doing cruising around South Beach in a Rolls Royce convertible cop asks teen pop?  This car belongs to my friend and singer, Sean Kingston sitting next to me.  Before the cop could say I see Bieber fans rushed outside of T.G.I. Friday’s yelling and screaming.

Justin’s Twelve Tattoos

Speaking of Justin’s Godly views he shows off latest “Jesus” in Hebrew tattoo on upper left side while sunning on island of Hawaii with Selena, his soul mate.  Justin’s dad, Jeremy was very happy to get matching spiritual tattoo.  Bieber who was inked on Memorial Day with an elbow star tattoo has always had his parents’ approval.

Celebrities “Show Your Heart” Worthy Campaigning

Fame isn’t just the name of the game.  Justin twitters his followers raising money for “Show Your Heart” campaign along with other celebrities to benefit three severely injured Houston, Texas children with two boys paralyzed when a vehicle crashed into “Berry Family” minivan leaving them orphaned.

Justin Bieber Way” street sign stolen in Forney

Thief takes off with “Justin Bieber Way” street sign in Texas town of Forney a few days after city held ceremony renaming part of Main Street in honor of teen pop artist.  Everything worked out just fine as the town replaced street sign.

Justin and Selena Teenage Pop Icons Nude and Bronzed

Teenage superstars Justin and Selena standing side by side in the nude are bronzed with sexy private parts covered is a creation by Daniel Edwards, a Connecticut artist.  Because of child pornography issues Edwards will not unveil Bieber until next year.  He hopes Bieber and Gomez are still together.  The artist has completed many naked sculptures of celebrities from Paris Hilton, Britney Spears to Angelina Jolie.

Did Selena breakup with Bieber?

Bieber may be singing the “Baby, Baby” blues if it’s true that Selena dumped you for someone more mature.  There are a combination of things that allegedly caused a split to their relationship.  Gomez found out Justin was texting his ex-girlfriend and the bad boys he was hanging around with like Sean Kingston and Chris Brown.  Selena admits she likes hot stuff “Transformers” actor Shia LaBeouf.

Bieber Rules the School

Even though Bieber may have a tutor and dislikes school, pop teen idol is supplying kids with everything from notebooks to shiny hot kiddie purple pencil boxes.

Bieber’s Baby Boa Constrictor

For goodness sake is that Justin Bieber walking around the “Black Carpet” before VMAs holding a small pale orange boa constrictor snake?  So what’s his pet’s name “Johnson” which he says Selena doesn’t mind rubbing.  Now he’s giving the snake to charity.

Justin wins at 2011 MTV Music Awards for “Best Male Video”

Justin Bieber decked out in black clothes from head-to-toe at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards wins “Best Male Video” for “U Smile” dedicated to his fans while he gives his delicious dish “Selena” a kiss and heads onto the stage to accept award landing another kiss on the cheek with sexy Kim Kardashian.  Justin thanked everyone including God who blessed him.

Bieber’s Minor Fender Bender

Justin was with his assistant inside his slick black “Ferrari” when car got hit on rear side by careless driver in a $16,000 dark blue Honda Civic while backing out of Studio City underground parking lot.  Pop star thank your lucky stars no one got injured and there were no damages to either car.

Selena Stalker Walks Fine Chalk Line

Thomas Brodnicki a former resident of Des Plaines, Illinois with a history of stalking and mental illness who was allegedly harassing and threatening Disney’s Selena Gomez has been given a temporary restraining  order by a Los Angeles Superior Judge keeping him away from the starlet, her assistant and family.  Stalker pleads “not guilty” at court hearing.

Christmas Fun Album

Celebrities like Mariah Carey are joining Justin on his new Christmas video “Under the Mistletoe.”  The girls would love if Justin took off his clothes, but baby it’s just too cold in the snow.  Maybe Justin will take a bite of their holiday cookies.  If they could only make knookie knookie.  Part of the proceeds from the CD will go to charity.

Selena & Bieber Teach Husky Puppy Mix Tricks

It’s just not puppy love for Selena and Bieber.  Husky doggie named Baylor comes on board.  This cute 10-week old male was adopted by the young celebrities from an animal shelter in Winnepeg, Canada.  Betcha’ Justin and Selena teach this husky mix plenty of tricks with some puppy biscuits.

The Real Batmobile

Is Justin Bieber in steel armor steering around town in a real blue “Batmobile?”  It’s a customized deal by Cadillac.

Justin Hits YouTube Two Billion List

Leave it to the Bieber to hit two billion on YouTube.  Fans admit they love to watch singer ’cause he’s cute and slick.

Brute of a Lawsuit

“Baby, Baby” no way.  Singer being sued by Mariah Yeater who Justin says is a faker.  Girl looks for loot from paternity suit.  Is Justin okay with taking DNA?  Yeater was brought back stage to meet the singer last year.  It appears that Yeater who had this baby boy wants to smear Bieber.  Whataya know Yeater dismisses the case.  Crazy lady you’re a disgrace to the human race.

Bieb under the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree

Belieber fans got so excited when Bieber ignited the stage singing “Little Drummer Boy” accompanied by Rapper Busta Rhymes and “Chestnuts” with Usher.  Justin touched some girls who went nuts.  They were hoping to grab his butt.  Then Bieber performed “Under the Mistletoe” video with Mariah Carey singing and looking lovely after taking off pounds from her pregnancy.

Wishin’ for a Justin “Arthur Christmas”

Justin is rockin’ around the town looking spiffy in a new hairdo singing “Santa is coming to town” for Christmas.

From Pimples to Wrinkles

Lights, action, camera! “Proactive”  Justin interviewing girls with pimples?  So what’s next for Bieber – Justin interviewing women with wrinkles?

“Boyfriend” Creamin’ Your Jeans

Shameless “Boyfriend” singer pulls down his jeans and shows his white undies to thousands of screaming teens.  Is this how you celebrate your eighteenth birthday creamin’ your jeans?

Bieber Temper

Justin allegedly used his boxing skills on Paparazzi after training with former Heavyweight Champion Mike Tyson.  Bieber isn’t as sweet as he looks after throwing a left hook may be booked on criminal battery.  The Bieb with his then-and-perhaps still-girlfriend will not be charged in altercation with photographer.

Believe in the Bieb

The Bieb always has something up his sleeve.  This time he wants his fans to understand that last year’s paternity accuser is the loser.  In fact he’s actually put out a new song titled “Maria” named after Mariah Yeater on hix new album “Believe.”  She was dying for my affection, but I wasn’t looking for an erection.  I never knew or met her, but she obviously was looking for a screw.

Justin’s High School Graduation

Justin celebrates his “18th” birthday high school graduation spending time with girlfriend Selena and promoting a new album.  It’s up to the Bieb on whether or not he wants to go to college for more knowledge.  Instead of being in the classroom and touring he will be giving back with donations making a difference in the lives of underprivileged kids.

Bieber Speeder

Politician wants Bieber arrested for speeding exceeding 100 mph on LA freeway.  Police officer stopped pop singer giving him a traffic ticket as he was driving his $100,000 Fisker Karma sports car a gift he received for his “18th” birthday from his manager.  Bieber claims he was being chased by an aggressive paparazzi and filed a complaint against another photographer.  Celebrity photographer may be facing criminal charges by Los Angeles City Attorney.  The Bieb has run-ins constantly with the paparazzi.

Justin’s cameo spot “The Simpsons”

Sometime in 2013 Justin will have a cameo spot playing himself on animated series “The Simpsons” where the singer/superstar tries to get into a talent show as Bart plays the piano.  It will be a remake of the 1989 musical film “The Fabulous Baker Boys” which showed Jeff and Beau Bridges trying to make a living in Seattle, turned into Homer and the gang where Justin is “The Fabulous Faker Boy.”  This should bring a lot of joy for the fans of the “boy toy.”

Bieb awarded “Diamond Jubilee”

Bieber a native Canadian was awarded the “Diamond Jubilee” medal from Prime Minister, Stephen Harper.  It was created in celebration of Queen Elizabeth’s 60th anniversary on the British throne and given for significant contributions and achievements.   Only thing missing was Bieber’s stylish clothing when accepting the medal in overalls with a polo shirt and backward cap just made him look like a jerk.

Gangnam Style beats Bieber’s Shirtless You Tube Baby

Gangnam Style dance originator known as “Psy” is beating Bieber’s shirtless “Baby” on You Tube and Google friends by 7 million hits per day versus Bieber’s video with only 500,000 views every day is slowing fading away.  Endorsement of celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres, Britney Spears, Madonna and MC Hammer viewing “Gangnam Style” the reason why popularity is gaining.

Murder Plot to Kill Bieber

A three-man team “murder for hire” plot to kill Bieber by strangling him at his Madison Square Garden concert initiated by 45-year-old Dana Martin crazed fan and convicted rapist killer who also had a $2,500 bounty for each of Bieber’s testicles.  Obviously Martin couldn’t go through with killing his pop idol so he turned in his accomplices to authorities.  Bieber’s manager, Scooter Braun after hearing about the murder plot said “We take every precaution in protecting and ensuring the safety of Justin and his fans.”

Not so Lucky Paparazzo

Claims that obsessed Paparazzo was constantly harassing the Bieb.  The 29-year-old photographer, Chris Guerra crossing Sepulveda Boulevard in Los Angeles attempting to snap pictures of parked exotic white Ferrari belonging to Justin Bieber was killed instantly by an oncoming vehicle.  Bieber who was not in his Ferrari sent condolences to photographer’s family.  The pop star released a statement through his music company that hopefully this terrible tragedy will bring meaningful legislation to help protect the lives and safety of not only celebrities, but innocent bystanders as well as photographers.

Bieb and the Weed

From pop star to pot?  It’s Bieb on “SNL” February 9th hosting the show.  His first public appearance since photos surfaced of Justin allegedly smoking a weed at some Newport Beach hotel room partying around New Year’s Eve.

Israeli Former Bodyguard Suing!

Bieb’s ex-bodyguard suing!  Former soldier of the Israeli army Moshe Benabou is suing for $420,000 in unpaid overtime, including assault and battery claiming Justin punched him.  Moshe was fired for lying on his resume about being Justin Timberlake’s bodyguard.  Is he trying to squeeze money out of the Bieb?

Revenge is Mine ex-Senorita Selena

The Bieb says revenge is mine ex-Senorita Selena.  Bieber hangs out with another Disney cutie.  This may not be the best way to get Selena back in the sack.  Bieber your childish behavior is not a wise move to get on Selena’s good side.

Clever Bieber “SNL” Pizza

Devoted fans shivering from the blistering cold temperatures waited outside NBC’s 30 Rock for a chance to see the Bieb hoping to get free “SNL” tickets were surprised with a box of Ray’s famous original pizza.  Bieber later tweeted “Enjoy the Pie Girls and Guys.”

Buzy Bieber in London Touring and Partying

Buzy Bieber in Londontown touring and hopping from one night club to another partying with a mystery brunette, “The Wanted and “will.i.am” super pop star soon-to-be celebrating his 19th birthday.

Trash Black Gas Mask

Justin trash that black gas mask or stick it up your ass!  Not too sure if it’s for your London tour.  It seems to draw more attention than protection.  Maybe they’re celebrating Halloween overseas.

Photographer gets nasty with Bieber

Paparazzo calls pop star a f**kin’ moron while the Bieb tries to attack him.  Photographer tells Bieber to go back to America or perhaps he meant Canada.  Screaming “I’ll beat the f**k out of you” skinny-winny Justin Bieber leaps out a black van when his bald bodyguard intervenes saving him from a bloody tragedy.

Fans were bloody mad

London fans had every right to be bloody mad.  Justin was booed when he arrived on stage for the 02 arena concert two hours late claiming technical difficulties, but fans were so outraged they wanted to throw their shoes at him.  Bieb said he was sorry for being tardy.  You’ll still be able to catch the midnight tube.

Man down in Foggy Londontown

Bieber collapsed on stage with some serious breathing problem.  He was taken to a London hospital feeling quite ill.  After the nurse perked him up Bieb took off his shirt.  Sexy Bieber is feeling much better drinking plenty of fluids and resting.  Unfortunately the perky nurse didn’t bed down with Justin.  Here’s wishin’ Bieb a speedy recovery!

Bieber under the weather

Bieber who is still under the weather canceled one of his shows in Portugal.  Things have not been going great lately for this shining superstar especially after Senorita Selena left the immature Justin.  “Boyfriend” needs girlfriend!

Damn I’m in Amsterdam

I’m in liberal Amsterdam where anything goes from prostitution to smoking pot is hot.  Bieb goes dutch treat sitting down in a coffee shop while smoking a weed.  He also spent some time visiting the house now a museum where Anne Frank wrote and kept a diary.  She died from typhus at a Nazi concentration camp in March 1945 just a month before it was liberated by the British.  The only thing pop star could write in a guest book was “Truly inspiring to be able to come here – Anne was a great girl.  Hopefully she would have been a belieber.”  A spokesman said “He’s 19.  It’s a strange life he’s living.  Wasn’t very sensible, but he didn’t mean bad.”  Well it sure is sad.  Thank goodness he’s a Canadian and not a Yankee!  CNN’s Piers Morgan defends Justin.  Says he meant no offense.  How many people would spend an hour at the Anne Frank museum?

Clever Bieber promoting SpendSmart Card

Clever Bieber promoting a new teen SpendSmart prepaid credit card.  He’s a talented motivated artist who works hard to socially influence his millions of fans globally.

Justin sings a different tune apologizing to Lindsay

Justin upset with the press attacks Lindsay’s tax mess.  He has apologized to the actress for dragging her into his media battle.

Bieb had to leave Hotel Paree

Bieb booted from luxurious Hotel Paree.  Nobody wants me!  It seems his wild “Beliebers” were causing a commotion so Bieb moved to another hotel up the street.  Mandarin Hotel says he left on his own, but fans are not happy the Bieb was treated with disrespect.  Hope hotel does not have a Twitter account for fans may go into a social rage.

You’re a Bad Boy!

Bieber pulls some “Monkey Business” after arriving by private plane at Munich Airport in Germany.  His pet monkey “Mally” a gift on his 19th birthday was seized by custom officials and quarantined for lack of necessary papers plus a health certificate.  The Bieb will have to pay a high penalty for the monkey’s quarantine.  All of this monkey business comes on top of Bieber’s “bad mouthing” spitting on a neighbor, reckless driving, authorities investigating battery charges, fighting with a photographer, late for a concert, taken to a hospital and slamming Lindsay Lohan.  This pop star is building a “bad boy” reputation.  A bratty kid who thinks he can get away with it!  Maybe Bieb will soon be pop history.

Justin’s new girlie hairdo

Justin looks girlie with a pair of earrings and his new Rihanna hairdo.  What do Beliebers think?  He looks pretty in pink!

Worth it to go shirtless and practically bottomless?

So you’ve got rock star abs!  That’s why we’re all fans.  Now put on a shirt and pull up your pants.

Justin and Selena Kissing and Loving

Justin and Selena back to kissing and loving.  Was it Justin’s shirtless physique or those crazy tattoos?  Either way the sexy couple are back together again in seventh heaven.  Now Selena says it’s not true.  She’s really happy without you!

Bustin’ Justin

While Justin was in Sweden a police officer on duty at Grand Hotel where pop star was staying smelled the scent of marijuana coming from singer’s tour bus.  A search warrant by authorities found nothing.  No one arrested as bus was empty.

Zealous fan and baby grand

While in Dubai on Believe tour Justin finally gets some sense knocked into him.  Zealous male fan ran up on stage while Bieber had his fingers on the keyboard trying to hug superstar before security guards jumped onto the stage knocking over baby grand.  Luckily Justin was okay as fans began screaming!  Justin went on performing “Boyfriend” and “Baby.”

Justin Cheered and Booed at Billboard 2013 Music Awards

Justin receives his first-ever Top Male Artist Milestone Award trophy while cheered and booed onstage by an angry crowd of Bruno and Taylor fans at MGM Grand Arena in Sin City.  The Bieb who works hard tells his teen idols “I’m nineteen and think I’m doing a pretty good job.  This should just be about the music.”  He then thanked his mom, dad and family then scurrying offstage with his trophy.

The Bieb abandoned pet monkey in Germany

The Bieb abandoned pet monkey Mally in Germany for a pussy he named Mrs. Garfield a super cutie.  Just don’t abandon this pet.  Give it some respect!  Hey Bieb! Don’t forget you owe Germany $1500 in monkey money for taking care of Mally.  Obviously Bieb didn’t give a  screw for Mally wound up in a German zoo.

Bieber and other celebrities race for Galactic space

Let’s just pop him in the face and send him to outerspace.  That’s just where he’s going on a Virgin Galactic trip.  May be the aliens will like him better than his neighbors.  More than 530 people have signed up which includes Ashton Kutcher, Leonardo Di Caprio and a traveling companion.  Passengers will feel weightlessness and see earth’s axis the center of gravity.  Outerspace deal is set for the end of this year.

Busy Bieber Missing Selena

Bieber is getting into his song and dance routine and more touring dates trying to forget about his breakup with dream girl Selena.  Keeping busy is for sure the best cure.

Bieb and Security Team Get Nasty with Paparazzi

This is some nasty stuff taking someone’s money, property and assaulting.  Bieber’s security team accused of strangling, stealing and pulling a gun on some paparazzo while in a California shopping center is suing Justin.  In another incident a photographer demands the return of his SIM card after an altercation with pop singer at a Miami Hit Factory.  Photog says “Don’t mess up my SIM card” in a letter to Bieb’s manager and that he’s gonna be suing.  Baby, baby look what you’re facing!

The New Dream Team

Selenita and singer/songwriter/guitar player Ed Sheeran hooking up romantically thanks to bestie Swifty.  Well maybe he’ll treat her better than Bieber.  Ed is sensitive and sweeter!

Half-Nude Dude

Justin’s shirtless first Instagram video arouses his screaming fans.  The smiling Boyfriend singer is just so freakin’ sexy as he flexes his bulging muscles and tattoos.  He looks good enough to eat!

Justin’s new Selena tattoo!

Justin’s on-again off-again girlfriend Selena tattoo of an angel!  Hey Bieb ink is permanent, but relationships can be shaky.  Once again there goes your lady into the hands of another man.  Now we see you two are on Instagram!  Bieber you’re just a heartbreaker.

Selena “Light My Fire” Bieber

The 4th of July is flyin’ high for Selena and Bieber as these two lovers are lighting up each others fire!

Bieber Serenading Selena

Bieb is coming out with a new album of love songs for Selena.  Want to be your Boyfriend again, not just a friend.  Need your attention and affection.  Let me whisper sweet nothings in your ear as Selena celebrates her “21st” year!  Happy Birthday dear.

Spitting and Urinating!

Bieber spitting and urinating disgusting!  Ohio DJ says Bieber spit in his face.  The incident allegedly took place at some nightclub with another disgraceful moment when pop star was videotaped urinating into a restaurant mop bucket yelling, “F**k Bill Clinton!  Justin the wise guy has since apologized.

The Thrill of Gold Grillz!

Justin shows off new “gold grillz” to teen idols.  Now for his fantasy the tooth fairy!

Justin’s Hit-and-Run

LA DA drops investigation of Paparazzo alleged hit-and-run against Justin.  Police say the photographer was not seriously hurt, but at fault because he was a pedestrian in the roadway.

Guy’s Bowtie

In another incident Bieb’s crew put some guy in the hospital.  Bieber and crew could be in hot water after a Southampton nightclub brawl and a hot blonde waitress wearing some guy’s bowtie got into Bieb’s SUV.  The guy who owned the bowtie ran after the SUV, but Bieb’s bodyguards allegedly assaulted him and now the police are investigating.

Justin’s Key to his Kingdom

You can now own “The Key” to Justin’s kingdom in a brand new fragrance to make ladies smell sexy.

Bad Boy Plays with Prostitutes’ Toys and Spraying Graffiti

Bad Boy Justin in Brazil reportedly playing with prostitutes’ toys sneaking out under bed sheets.  Teaser Bieber spraying graffiti on hotel wall is wanted by Rio de Janiero authorities.

Bieber’s Videographer Bedside Gal Pal

Bieber’s videographer sleep-in gal pal Tati Neve apparently from Rio de Janiero looks like a hot tomato.

Egg Rage

Allegedly the 19-year-old “Boyfriend” went into a rage and threw 20 eggs at his neighbor’s home causing $20,000 in damages.  Police were called to the scene, but it’s unknown if Bieber was interrogated about the egg rage.  Authorities in twelve vehicles investigating the felony egging came with a warrant searching Justin’s home and arresting the Bieb’s BFF Rapper Lil Za for possession of cocaine which could be Molly a form of ectasy.  Lil Za in jail with $20,000 bail.  No comments from popstar’s attorney.

Bieber Work Visa

This is no yolk!  Bieber a Canadian citizen may lose his Visa privileges for felony egging.

“Bad Boy” Bieb arrested in Miami

Teaser Bieber resisted arrest by Miami Beach police shortly after leaving a nightclub in the wee hours of the morning.  Bad boy Bieb was accused of DUI which he only admitted to smoking (pot) marijuana and taking Xanax anti-anxiety prescription pills (given to him by his mother) confirmed by toxicology report after illegally drag-racing in a 30-mile residential neighborhood with an expired license driving a rented bright yellow Lamborgini.  The GPS tracking system shows he drove 27 miles an hour.  Justin laid an f-bomb on police officer that arrested him.  Cute Bieb landed in a Miami-Dade County jail dressed in their red celebrity jumpsuit pleading not guilty.  Then he posted the standard $2,500 bail.  February 14th “V” Day is arraignment on DUI and three misdemeanor charges for Bieber.  Florida police officers suspended for Bieber escort from airport.

Bieb is now vacationing on a Panama beach for more partying with some hot girls in bikinis.  Usher and “Scooter” Braun talent manager hop the next flight to sit down for a long talk with “bad boy” Bieber.  The pop star may quit his music career and open a tattoo parlor with his father which he may have to open in Canada since a petition with over 100,000 signatures have been sent to the White House to revoke his green card and deport him as he’s a menace to society, the youth of America and wrongfully represents pop culture.  Bieber planning to move out of the Calabasas suburbs after egging neighbor’s mansion.

On Thursday, January 29, 2014 pop singer with his attorney arrived at a Toronto police station on charges of allegedly assaulting limo driver hitting him in the head which Bieber pleaded not guilty.  Hey Bieb!  Have you looked at the balance in your bank book lately?

Justin continued more of his shenanigans after a chartered jet carrying the popstar and his entourage from Toronto, Canada landed at New Jersey’s Teterboro Airport bound for the Superbowl was searched by authorities cocky singer admitted to smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol after pilot’s warning.  19-year-old Justin and his 38-year-old daddy Jeremy allegedly were rowdy and verbally abusive to a stewardess.  The smell of pot smoke was so intense in the cabin flight crew who could hardly breathe were forced to put on oxygen masks as they knew law enforcement would test them for drug use.

First Lady Michelle Obama gives advice to Bieber like a mommy.

Protesting Jughead Moving to Buckhead

Justin “Jughead” Bieber may be purchasing a mansion in Atlanta’s palatial Buckhead area for $10 million.  The seven-bedroom estate includes a spa, wine cellar and movie theater.  Usher and Young Jeezy also own area homes.  Homeowners do not want Bieber ruining property and influencing their children.

Justin rejects DUI plea deal over random drug testing fearing he would follow same path as Chris “Beater” Brown and Dipsy Lindsay.  The troubled teen has to meet all types of conditions at his own expense and if convicted could land in the can or maybe deported to Canada.  Smirky-smiling Bieber set for May 5th trial on Florida DUI, resisting arrest and expired driver’s license.

Video shows the Bieb taking a sobriety test walking a fine line.  Judge will rule on whether or not to release it to the public.

Bieb’s security guard who admitted taking a camera from a photographer was granted bail and released on February 26, 2014 according to police.

Senorita Selenita in Arizona Recovery Facility Released in January

Belieb or not ex-girlfriend Senorita Selenita “Come and Get It” singer voluntarily checked herself into Dawn at the Meadows Recovery Facility in Wickenburg, Arizona.

Justin’s Broken

Justin’s new song “Broken” with rapper Blake Kelly is his first track since recent arrest.  Guess some fans were hopin’ I’d be broken, but I’ll get through this mess.

Khloe buys Justin’s California home

Khloe “Miss Reality” Kardashian shells out $7.2 mil for Justin’s California home after selling her own shared with Lamar Odom.

Lovey-Dovey

Selena and Bieber are back together deep down in the heart of Texas kissing and hugging.  How long will this on again off again love affair weather stormy Bieber?

Bieber’s Foot Fracture

Bieber claiming he’s suffering from hairline right foot fracture after sobriety testing.  Following his January arrest pop singer told Florida police officers that he injured his foot three months earlier skateboarding.  Bieb who turned “20″ on March 1st pleaded not guilty to DUI and other charges said he was not drag racing in rented Lamborghini.

Deposition Mission

Senorita Selena served with papers to appear at deposition on April 23, 2014 in connection with paparazzo May, 2012 incident is suing Bieber for attacking him inside parking lot of “The Commons” a Calabasas plush outdoor shopping mall in front of pop star’s then-girlfriend.

Firing Selena’s Parents

Selena says bye-bye to parents who were her “Disney” managers.

Justin’s Miami Trial Extension

Miami judge grants Roy Black attorney for Justin an extension from his original May trial date to August 7th as the lawyer needed more time to review the evidence.

Justin detained at LAX by U.S. Customs

Things don’t seem to be working out lately for Canadian pop singer as he hit a bad note after touching down on a flight from Tokyo where he posted an insensitive photo on visit to Japanese war shrine.  After the Bieb and his luggage were detained for around four hours it did not seem to affect loyal Belieber supporters.

Bieb’s new song ”Hard 2 Face Reality”

Lately everything seems to be hard for Bieb 2 face reality.  If it’s not one thing it’s another.  Bieber can’t seem to get his act together.

Central Park for Sweethearts

Bieb goes to New York’s Central Park for the first time thinking how will he propose to Selena his sweetheart.

Rogen disses Justin

Bieber’s Twitter reply to Seth Rogen’s bitter remark “You’re a piece of shit!”  I may not like you, but I love your movies.

Bieb’s Alleged Attempted Robbery

Bieb was hanging out with some friends at Sherman Oaks Castle Amusement Park near the batting cage when suddenly they got into a fist fight with some guys.  Allegedly Bieber noticed a woman taking pictures and demanded she show him her cellphone to erase photos.  When she refused he grabbed the purse out of her hands.  LAPD is investigating.  Bieb if this is true you’re only adding to a rap sheet leading back to the pokey or deportation to Canada!

I Apologize not so fast Wise Guy

Justin who is young and foolish finally apologizes for using the N-word which wasn’t funny.  Now we’ve heard he’s singing his old tune “One Less Lonely Girl” in which he replaces the N-word.  Usher defends “bad boy” Bieber suffering from disturbed behavior!

Egging neighbor’s property charges against Bieber

Los Angeles City Attorney considering filing misdemeanor charges against Bieber for egging neighbor’s property.  The Bieb is off the hook for attempted robbery.

Catchy Tune “Next to You”

Chris Brown featuring The Bieb reunite in recording studio for catchy tune “Next to You.”

Nude Dude

Bieber poses in the nude practically showing off his weenie while fans think he’s steamy!

Bieb’s Egg-Throwing Rage

The Bieb pleads no contest and gets two year’s probation for egg-throwing.

Selena breaks up with Bieber

Selena who turned 22 on July 22nd gets black tattoo after ending her on again/off again relationship with Bieber.  She celebrated her birthday in St. Tropez on a yacht jet skiing and sunbathing hanging around with some mystery man.

Unfair Wheelchair

Brazen Justin rents a wheelchair at Disneyland so he doesn’t have to wait in line while customers have to stand.  Justin’s antics are just too much.



© Copyright 2011 – 2014

Lyrics created by (Francke) the Yankee

All Rights Reserved

Stay tuned for the rest of this neat rhyming piece on Bieb’s latest escapades.



Posted by sheila on November 28, 2010 under Celebrity Rhyming Biographies (Satire), Justin Bieber (Teen Idol Dream) | Be the First to Comment

© 2014 Francke the Lyrical Yankee (FLY). All Rights Reserved.

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