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Sick “Quarterback” Vick – Tried to get away with it! (rhyming animal cruelty) Satire

SICK “QUARTERBACK” VICK

Michael Vick had a great quarterback career.  Unfortunately he steered in the wrong direction and got caught in an illegal and brutal arena of pit bull dogfighting.  The writing was on the wall that it would be Vick’s downfall.

It was in summer of 2007 that the Atlanta Falcons suspended Michael Vick after he admittedly stashed the cash from a dog-fighting ring held in the backyard of his Virginia property where blood stains were found around the grounds.

The first thing that comes to mind is anyone who abuses or kills an animal must be mentally ill.  So what kind of a guy is Michael?  He’s a powerful towering individual who has plenty of money and fame.  Then why did he get involved in this dog-fighting game?  I believe Vick thought he could get away with it.  He certainly wasn’t making a lot of money from dog fighting.  In the end, Vick’s dishonesty cost him everything.

Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months, spending approximately 19 months in federal prison with a probation obligation to speak or teach “at-risk” kids around the country on animal cruelty and brutality.  Is this enough of a penalty for a dog’s suffering?  What about the plight of other dogs that were killed because they failed to fight?  Dogs have a right to live their life.  They’re man’s best friend to the end.

Dogs barked, growled and snarled.  If animals could only talk or squawk they would tell their tales of sheer hell.

Of course Michael Vick could be reinstated into the NFL after serving prison time if he showed remorse.

On August 13, 2009 the Philadelphia Eagles spread their wings.  Michael Vick was picked as a home team player with a one-year contract because of his great quarterback tricks, but can he lick the shame over the dogs that were killed and maimed?  It’s just insane to think that “Sick Vick” has “learned a lesson” even after his confession.

Well, people make mistakes and should be forgiven.  Vick served his time in a federal prison.  I’m not going into racism or that Vick did not know any better because of his upbringing.  These poor doggies were treated inhumanely.  Let’s not compare the killing of pigs and other poultry to house pets.

This all boils down to if the youth of this country is served by the words of Michael Vick, then we should not continue to keep beating up this tragedy with a wooden stick.

I am not here to bitch about Vick, only stating some of the facts on his cruel inhumane treatment of animals who were abused and killed.  The disgrace and shame may overpower Vick’s fame.  This is what Michael Vick will have to live with.

And they say, “Crime Does Not Pay.”  I totally disagree.  See Michael Vick’s upcoming BET reality show, “The Michael Vick Project.”  Hey, this guy is gonna roll in dough.  Whataya know the show did not do that well.  It opened on February 2nd with over a million viewers and then fell to over 700,000 for the season finale.  Vick said he turned down a second season on BET as it wasn’t that fascinating.

There’s a new twist to Michael Vick’s animal cruelty.  Vick’s teammates applaud him for talking to kids about his mistakes with a special “Ed Block Courage Award” which PETA and protesters deplore.  It’s definitely not appropriate to award Vick such an achievement.

NUDE PICS OF VICK

Nude pics of Michael Vick?  Playgirl wants Vick to strip.  The magazine will be profiting from Vick’s nudity while PETA gets a million dollar donation toward animal cruelty.  We’ll have to wait and see if Vick strips.

On June 25, 2010 Virginia Beach police investigate a shooting one block from a nightclub where Michael Vick celebrated his “30th” birthday party.  Prosecutors want to file charges, but victim is not cooperating.  Vick who is still on probation has to stick to the rules after serving federal prison time for animal cruelty.

The Philadelphia Eagles who have commented on the shooting incident say it is definitely not true that they might be releasing Vick from his contract, but are waiting for a conclusion of the investigation.  Now  it seems that Vick was involved in some type of confrontation, but left before the shooting at his birthday party.  Vick’s co-defendant was shot at the party and convicted of dog fighting.  NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell who plans to meet with the quarterback voiced his opinion that Vick should be more careful in making the right choices.

This time the deck is not stacked against Vick as he’s been picked for the starting quarterback.  30-year-old Michael Vick shows the Philadelphia Eagles that he can lead their team to victory.

No sooner said than done, Mike “Quarterback” Vick has a cartilage injury after taking two hard hits and sandwiched.  The famed football star might miss the next San Francisco game.

NO MORE SHIT FROM VICK

No more shit from Vick.  It looks like his fans have forgiven him.  Man, he’s working as hard as he can.  Michael Vick turned things around with his two feet on the ground.  Since leaving prison, he’s determined to win.

Now Vick would like to get a dog for a pet.  Animal rights group PETA is very upset.  They want him banned from owning a dog for life especially after his dog fighting.  Under probation conditions Michael Vick will be allowed to buy, own or sell dogs in “2012″ as long as the quarterback proves he followed their rules.  President Obama does not want to see Vick banned.  Give him a second chance.  Tucker Carlson animal-rights activist and conservative commentator for Fox News disagrees with Obama’s reasoning.  Tucker believes Sick Vick should have been executed for causing dogs pain and suffering.

The Philadelphia Eagles will be sending Michael Vick including 5 players to Honolulu in 2011.  Vick was at the top of the NFL pro bowl list.

WHO’S GONNA WIN PIERS MORGAN OR OPRAH WINFREY?

Who’s the winner or loser?  Is it CNN’s Piers Morgan who just took over for Larry King or Oprah Winfrey?  They’ve made a bet that Michael Vick will be their talk-show guest.

Michael Vick is glad he signed a two-year endorsement deal with Unequal Technologies a company that manufacturers football pads.

Michael Vick says “No” to the Oprah Show.  Then he changes his mind and tells Oprah she can set a date and time.  On February 24th Vick is suppose to sit down for a chat with Oprah in Chicago discussing the NFL, his time behind bars and dogfighting crimes.  Vick decides not to go on the Oprah Show due to everything going on with his new contract.  The quarterback is still planning an interview, but doesn’t know when he’ll be appearing on the show.

Virginia African-American arts organization honoring Vick as a hero and example for overcoming life’s obstacles and volunteering for the Humane Society.

On March 2, 2011, top quarterback “Proud to be an Eagle” Vick signed a lucrative one-year contract.  On February 15th he was tagged as the Eagle’s franchise player which means other teams will not be able to make offers to Michael.

PHILADELPHIA SCHOOL DISTRICT STUDENTS PICK VICK

On June 11th Michael Vick now a spokesman for the Humane Society spoke at a graduation commencement for senior students from Philadelphia’s Kimmel Center’s Camelot High School with drug and behavioral issues.  Vick discussed his prison time for illegally funding and managing dog-fighting.  For this federal crime he lost everything, his freedom, dignity, money and family.  He told the graduates it was one of his hardest lessons.  Think before you act to avoid the wrong decisions.

IF THE SHOE FITS WEAR IT

Nike told Vick to take a hike after his dog fighting conviction.  Now Nike has signed Vick to a new sneaker sponsorship.

MR. VICK GOES TO WASHINGTON FIGHTING FOR DOG AND COCK LEGISLATION

Mr. Vick in Washington with head of Humane Society to back legislation for stiff penalties on those organizing events exposing minors to dog and cock fighting including his criticism of Google’s Android Video “Dog Wars” game which he says glorifies animal cruelty.

VICK CASHES IN ON HUGE CONTRACT

Philadelphia Eagles’ Quarterback Michael Vick sticks with Philadelphia Eagles by signing $100 million dollar six-year contract.

VICK GETS HITCHED

Michael Vick and financee’ Kijafa Frink got engaged right before he served 21 month prison term.  Vick got hitched on June 30th with 300 guests at the ritzy Fountainbleu Hotel in Miami.

PIERS MORGAN’S EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

CNN host Piers Morgan finally gets to sit down with Michael Vick Philadelphia Eagles quarterback and talks about his upcoming autobiography “Michael Vick: Finally Free” which hits bookshelves September 4th a day before the 2012 season for the NFL.  Vick vows to bring the Superbowl to Philadelphia as he wants to give back something to everyone that supported me.  Piers asks Vick if he would ever own another dog after serving prison time and all the controversy.  Vick admits to Piers Morgan he may get a family pet for his children.  I’ll let the kids pick it out, but it certainly will not be a Pit Bull doggie.

PRO BOWL QUARTERBACK VICK BORN AGAIN DOG OWNER

Vick lets the press know he has a pet.  As a daddy it’s important that my children not only treat and care for our pet, but all of God’s creatures with love, kindness and respect.  Our well-cared for doggie is a loving member of this family.

VICK’S BANKRUPTCY

Michael Vick made $31 million since filing for bankruptcy and spent $29 million of it going to creditors, lawyers, accountants and child support.  So who wouldn’t mind getting stuck with these big bucks?  I’m talking about his $100 million dollar contract.  Vick is far from a pauper.

VICK STILL SICK

Vick still sits on the sidelines after sustaining a concussion.  His doctor prescribes staying in dark quiet places, not watching videos and avoiding exercise.

MIKE’S NEW DEAL WITH PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Michael Vick who will be 33 on June 26th is returning to the Philadelphia Eagles on a reconstructed deal next season with newly-hired coach Chip Kelly.

DEFENSIVE VICK TO CRITICS

Quarterback Vick is getting sick and tired of all the criticism from the media since they know nothing about football.  The heat continues for Vick being careless holding the ball too long leaving him susceptible to many big hits translating into turnovers and injuries.  With Coach Chip Kelly’s offense plan, Vick is dedicated to run it.

VICK’S MISSION

Michael Vick’s new mission is helping Superstorm Sandy victims.  We all must stick together in bad weather speaking of the devastating Moore, Oklahoma tornado.  Vick who is Atlantic City’s new honorary ambassador joins Mayor Lorenzo Langford wants everyone to know the Jersey Shore boardwalks and beaches are open for business.

JETS PICK VICK

Quarterback Vick is Jets new pick signing him up for a one-year $5 million contract.

* * * * * * * *

© Copyright 2011 – 2014

Created by (Francke) the Lyrical Yankee

aka The Jester from Westchester (Satire)

All Rights Reserved

(Fighting Animal Cruelty – Mission to Save Vick’s Pit Bulls)

04/20/10 – The Justices of the U.S. Supreme Court officially strike down ban on animal fighting videos.  First Amendment “Freedom of Speech.”  It’s unconstitutional.

Posted by admin on August 22, 2009 under Animal Cruelty (Sick Vick), Celebrity Crimes in Rhyme | Be the First to Comment

Chris Brown – Good girls don’t want you around (Celebrity Crimes in Rhyme) Domestic Violence

CHRIS BROWN BEATER-SINGER

The girls don’t want you around.  On August 25, 2009 the R&B singer Chris Brown was found guilty to one count of felony battery with the intentional act of great bodily injury on February 8th to his former girlfriend, Barbadian beauty Rihanna (real name, Robin Fenty).  The judge should have put Brown’s ass in the slammer.  Damn to any man who lifts his hands to a woman.

The court ordered Chris Brown to stay 100 yards away from the Barbadian singer and he must be 10 yards from her when they attend upcoming entertainment events.  For a period of five years there will be no girlfriend/boyfriend relationship.  Rihanna wants the restraining order lifted, but so far Chris is restricted.

Looks like some women can’t get enough of the rough stuff.  Rihanna certainly needs counseling.  Chris, an abusive fella, will definitely miss the bliss under his girlfriend’s “Umbrella.”

Because Chris Brown is a celebrity he got away with just five years of supervised probation instead of being locked up in in the pokey.  He must enroll in a one-year domestic violence class and do a six-month stretch of heavy duty labor-oriented community service.  Did Chris get what he deserved?  It’s more like a “slap on the wrist.”

Brown paid $2,500 in restitution, $2,500 probation costs and other court penalties upon sentencing.

Chris flew down to his hometown in Virginia to serve six months of community service and attend a domestic violence class.  Will this help him to erase his abusive past?  Only time will tell if Chris does well.

So why do some men abuse women?  Think they can get away with it.  Hit you until you’re bloody black and blue.  Man wants to rule and screw.  A woman is nobody’s fool.  Hey, she’s human too!

A probation report issued to the court describes how Chris Brown previously roughed up or possibly shoved Rihanna into a wall while traveling in a foreign country.  These overseas attacks were never reported and of course Chris does not remember two other occasions when he lost his temper.

Chris Brown, the mean and nasty brute pled not guilty to clinching his fists into Rihanna’s face choking, punching and threatening repeatedly, then biting her ear because he was pissed.  How could this “love affair” turn into a “nightmare?” Chris Brown’s songs were taken off the air and he lost his endorsements.

On the “Larry King Show” Chris Brown surprised us all by wearing a powder blue pullover sweater with a cute matching bow tie.  Obviously Chris was trying to portray himself as a “nice sweet guy.”  Well, he is far from a “gentle man” after lifting his hands to a woman.

Larry King posed some questions on the evening of the incident, but Chris failed to go into detail in relation to any conversations he had with Rihanna out of respect and due to her privacy.  Chris was very “wishy washy,”  but did state that he was definitely ashamed.

Everyone knows Rihanna could have been maimed.  Shame, shame on a guy with “no brains.”  Chris claims he still loves Rihanna and has made some terrible mistakes which in time he hopes will make him a better person.  Hopefully he has learned his lesson.

Chris Brown’s lawyer, the famous Mark Geragos who attended the Larry King interview put on a good show.  This is the attorney who handled the Michael Jackson and Scott Peterson cases and got a wad of dough.

Brown’s mother, Joyce Hawkins was also by her son’s side with tears in her eyes telling Larry King she had an abusive husband and at that time Chris was too young and did not understand.  Well, Chris is now a grown man and should know right from wrong, instead the guy is headstrong!

Chris Brown gets a big blow from the Oprah Show.  He doesn’t know why Oprah will not let him slouch on her couch.  Ouch!  Oprah is not the “Queen of Mean”  she just takes domestic assault seriously.

Oprah is very appreciative that Chris went to Africa and performed at her school, but he needs to stick to the court rules.  She hopes Chris Brown straightens himself out by getting counseling which he desperately needs.  Hopefully Chris will start doing some “good deeds.”

Celebrities seem to get away with everything.  Somehow we are going to see Chris Brown’s probation reduced even though he’s a nasty brute.  Chris would like to go out of the country for “The Tribute” honoring the great Michael Jackson.  Rihanna and Chris want to go on a vacation to Mexico.  When it comes to law and order, let’s see if the judge will budge.

UMBRELLA SINGER

Rihanna, the “umbrella singer” from Barbados breaks her silence on “20/20″ interview with anchor woman, Diane Sawyer on how she was battered and bruised.  It was like I never really knew Chris as he hit and bit me.  Dangerously in love, I was ashamed and humiliated by the entire incident.  Rihanna went on to say when she caught Chris Brown in a lie on a text message from an old girlfriend, he lost it and became violent and abusive.  Chris had a blank look on his face with an attitude of nothing to lose as he hit and bruised me.  She wants Chris Brown to get his life together and grow up.  It’s been tough for Rihanna who still loves and cares about Chris Brown.  They can’t be around each other, but Rihanna will always consider Chris a best friend and hopes in time she’ll mend.

Chris Brown sits down with Robin Williams for a scheduled 20/20 special ABC “one-on-one” interview.  He’s definitely truly sorry for this terrible tragedy which has been devastating.  Rihanna and me were very happy.  There were never problems of anger or rage with any girlfriends in the past.  He’s now in an “anger management” class.

Chris posted a “Twitter” fit over certain major stores like Walmart who are not stocking his new “Graffitti” CD.  Then he quits “Twit.”  This guy is really pissed.  He used profanity against the music industry.  Looks like Chris is “up the creek” for his album only sold 100,000 copies in the first week.

On February 18, 2010 there was a court hearing.  Chris Brown finally turned his life around.  Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Patricia Schnegg praised Brown for doing 32 days of community labor and not missing one session of domestic-violence counseling in his hometown.

The judge previously cleared him for traveling to concerts out of the United States. Brown thanked the judge from the bottom of his heart for her nice remarks.  Chris can now look forward to a fresh start.

UK has denied entry into their country for a concert tour due to the fact that Chris Brown was found guilty of felony battery.  Our primary concern is public safety.

IT’S NO BULLSHIT!

Chris has a new hit song “No Bullshit” but are his fans buying it?  He’s trying for a comeback ever since the Rihanna attack.

There’s a new movie coming to your town co-starring Chris Brown.  From an R&B singer to an action star he does some great stunts running and jumping as one of the robbers in “Takers” coming to theaters August, 2010 when Chris will be performing on the big screen.

Chris and his attorney, Mark Geragos attend a fourth scheduled probation hearing.  LA Judge Patricia Schnegg after reviewing Chris’ probationary performance praises him on the great job he’s doing.

Chris Brown’s mom, Joyce Hawkins apologizes for her Michael Jackson harsh tweet remark.  The fans didn’t understand what I was trying to say, “MJ died so Chris Brown could live.”  She has since taken the tweet down and released a statement to USA saying I’m sorry the tweet offended anyone.  What I meant to say is that Chris would carry on Michael Jackson’s musical legacy.

On December 21, 2010 Chris Brown completed a domestic violence course stemming from battery charges to singer, Rihanna.

In April 2011 Chris will head to the land of Outback for a series of  fantastic concert dates with his F.A.M.E. world tour.  What more can his Australian fans ask for?

In the meantime Chris Brown and his attorney, Mark Geragos appear before Judge Patricia Schnegg asking her to lift the restraining order placed when he assaulted his ex-girlfriend Rihanna.  The judge still needs to confer with her attorney.

On Tuesday, February 23, 2011 Los Angeles County Judge removed the restraining order as Chris Brown completed his 52-week domestic violence program which now allows Brown to be around his ex-girlfriend, Rihanna as long as he does not attempt to harass, molest or annoy the Barbados beauty.  He is still on probation for the next 3 l/2 years.  Appearing at the hearing was Brown, his attorney Mark Geragos and Donald Etra, Rihanna’s attorney.

NUDE DUDE

Chris Brown sends an ex-girlfriend a cell phone photo of his frontol nudity.  Shame, shame Chris maybe looking for publicity to promote his fourth album “F.A.M.E.”

“F.A.M.E.” ON GMA

On Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011 Chris Brown was on “Good Morning America” singing, dancing and promoting his new #1 album “F.A.M.E.”  He drove his fans insane.  Robin Roberts host of GMA interviewed the rapper questioning him about putting his life back together ever since his abusive rage on singer Rihanna.  He tells her “I don’t have to explain nasty issues of the past.  I’m here to promote my album.”  Then hot under the collar Brown went to his dressing room and in a violent rage smashed a window, walking out of the studio with no shirt like a jerk.  Robin Roberts first interviewed Chris Brown and his family in his hometown so it wasn’t her first round with Brown.

Unfortunately, Chris Brown maybe charged with a felony.  He’s still on probation and could be in violation.  Judges are tough.  They don’t stand for any rough stuff.

Chris quickly apologized for his rage.  We hear “GMA” is not pressing charges and has offered Brown another invitation to interview him along with Rihanna, his ex-girlfriend.  There will always be chatter about the rapper and his violent temper.

RESTRAINING ORDER LIFTED – CHRIS & RIHANNA TWIT

After a two-year restraining order has been lifted, Chris Brown and ex-girlfriend Rihanna begin an online Twitter relationship.  Should Rihanna be concerned after being burned?  What has Chris Brown learned from his use of violence and abuse?  Chris has undergone court-ordered counseling, but statistics show violent crimes continue over time.  Don’t wait for fate to experience more than a badly bruised bloody face.  Lesson learned – Don’t get burned.

CHRIS BROWN’S MJ TRIBUTE IN NEW “SHE AINT YOU” VIDEO

The new video “She Ain’t You” from Chris Brown’s F.A.M.E. album which debuted back in March brings a cool sample of Michael Jackson’s hit “Human Nature” as the R&B singer dedicates his song performing MJ moves.

CHRIS LANDS 3-MINUTE CAMEO “THINK LIKE A MAN”

From shouting anti-gay rants the tattooed 22-year-old lands romantic comedy film cameo as a one-night stand with Megan Good based on Steve Harvey’s best-selling book “Act Like a Lady, “Think Like a Man.”  Chris also starred in suspense thriller “Takers” about a bunch of robbers.

NO MORE SCREWING UP INTERVIEWS

After Chris Brown screwed up an interview on “Good Morning America” by smashing a window his manager says he will only be focusing on his music career for the new year.

BEATER-SINGER PERFORMING AT “2012″ GRAMMYS

Chris Brown’s last appearance was in 2009 when he assaulted girlfriend, Rhi-Rhi at a Grammy’s pre-party.  Now he’ll be performing at the “2012″ Grammys held in LA Staple Center.  Who knows how much the girls want Brown around when he comes to town.  The assault ended his relation with “Umbrella” singer, Rihanna and he’s presently serving five years’ probation.  With no more restraining order Chris and Rihanna could be dating.  Coldplay and Rihanna will also be performing.  Chris will give “No Red Carpet Interviews.”

F.A.M.E. “2012″ 54th GRAMMY

22-year-old Chris Brown picked up a Grammy for best R&B F.A.M.E. album beating R. Kelly and other music celebrities.  He was also nominated for Best Rap Song and Best Performance with his “Look at Me Now” collaborators Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes, but lost out to Kanye West who skipped Grammys.  Chris entertained the audience performing “Turn Up the Music” and “Beautiful People” to dance music with Lil Wayne, David Guetta and Rock Band Foo Fighters.

MIRANDA LAMBERT ON CHRIS’ TEMPER

County singer, Miranda Lambert speaks out about Chris Brown performing twice on stage. a guy with a temper that went into a rage.  She’s pissed that Chris won a Grammy after all the drama on ex-girlfriend Rihanna.  Lambert suggested Chris Brown listen to her song “Gunpowder and Lead” about avenging Domestic Violence Against Women, get his head on straight and “Be put back in his place – Not at the Grammys.”  Lambert joins a slew of others who questioned the “Grammy” move by stating their views on social networks.

CHRIS TWEETS GRAMMY HATERS

Chris tweets a whammy “Hate all U want becuz I got a Grammy.  That’s the ultimate F**K OFF.”  Of course Brown had a second round of tweeting “I’m so over everyone’s opinion which he later deleted and sent a sweet “Valentine’s Day” to all the ladies.  Let today be about u!!  Love you.”  Should Brown have kept his mouth shut or is it time to forgive the beater-sinner?

RAPPER JAY-Z NOT HAPPY CHRIS & RIHANNA TOGETHER

While three years have passed since Chris Brown’s altercation with Rihanna, Jay-Z is not happy about their reunion.  Jay-Z could never understand how a man can lay his hands on a woman.  He wants nothing to do with Chris.  Rihanna is hooking up with Chris recording a Remix and other songs which Jay-Z believes is wrong.  Rihanna should never forget what Chris did to her.  He thinks it could hurt RiRi’s career, the fans and reflects a bad message.

CHRIS WANTS RHI-RHI’S HOTTIE BODY

Girl “Wanna give you a good screw – It’s been a long time missing your hottie body.”  Chris sends sweetheart tweet “Robyn Happy Birthday” on February 20th celebrating with a party at the famous Hearst mansion in Beverly Hills where the two got intimate.

CHRIS & RIHANNA’S “BIRTHDAY CAKE MIX”

Chris and Rihanna’s “Birthday Cake Mix song continues to be a hit climbing R&B, Hip-Hop Billboard charts.

UMBRELLA SINGER SURPRISED BY ALL THE CRITICISM

Rihanna was quite surprised at the criticism she received after getting together with Chris Brown when the two hit the recording studio. She insists it was completely professional.  There’s nothing romantic going on with me and my former boyfriend behind closed doors.  If we ever got back together again then it would be a whole different discussion.

EASY BREEZY

More drama over Rihanna!  On Wednesday evening June 13th at the NYC W.i.P. nightclub in SoHo a fistfight ensued between R&B singer Chris Brown, Rapper Drake and crew who pounded on Brown’s girlfriend resulting in a concussion and his bodyguard injured.  Professional basketball player Tony Parker says he suffered a scratched retina and is suing.  It wasn’t just a fistfight as some bottles were thrown and there were lots of moans in wee hours of the morning as police responded.  Breezy nor Drake were on the scene once the police arrived and no one was arrested.  Brown took it on the chin with a nasty boo-boo from Drake or his crew.  Still there are conflicting stories that Breezy and Drake were fighting over Rihanna.  Drake’s representative insists he did not injure anyone when fight began while police sat down with Brown to tell his side of the fistfight.  New York Police Department have closed SoHo nightclub as well as Greenhouse a club above it for 235 days due to code violations.  Fight Club loses liquor license.  Lawsuits come pouring in from eight injured victims who were taken to Bellevue Hospital.

Celerity boxing promoter offers Brown and Drake $1 million each for the opportunity to punch each other in either Las Vegas or LA with singer Rihanna as the bell ringer.  Promoter will donate the money to a charity for abused woman.

It seems Rihanna misses Chris especially since his new relationship with Karreuche Tran which makes her more jealous and desperate.  “Good Girl Gone Bad” still has crush on beater-singer.

VMA KISS FOR CHRIS

On September 6th at the Video Music Awards Chris congratulating Rihanna after she won “Best Video of the Year” they exchanged a kiss.  Rihanna, “You make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world.”  In an interview with Oprah, Rihanna says their kiss fumed rumors that Chris left Tran, his girlfriend for “We Found Love” singer.  Tran was crushed after listening to Oprah interview.

STUDENTS’ PEP RALLY CHRIS BEATS RIHANNA SKIT

Upstate New York High School Students in Blackface reenact Chris Brown beating up Rihanna in pep rally skit.  They drew thousands of views.  Many called it racist and blasting the notion of getting laughs from domestic violence.

BROWN AND RAPPER DRAKE SUED OVER NIGHTCLUB FIGHT

Chris Brown and Rapper Drake have been hit with a $16 million dollar lawsuit from Entertainment Enterprise which operates two nightclubs in NYC Soho district where these two celebrities allegedly fought and destroyed the nightclub name and valuable property.

BROWN RETURNS TO LA FOR PROBATION CONDITIONS

On Monday, September 17th Chris Brown returned to Los Angeles courtroom to see if he met the conditions of his probation regarding 180 days of community service for “2009″ felony assault charge on Rihanna who was then his girlfriend.  Chris was allowed to perform community work in his home State of Virginia serving one-third of the hours at a day care center where Brown’s mother once served as director.  At his February status hearing he reportedly completed half of the community service and anger management counseling.  Mark Geragos his attorney commented on Brown making great strides while under probation, but judge orders further review of Brown’s community service.

RIRI AND CHRIS REUNION BLOOMING

On Monday night October 1st hottie RiRi and Chris were seen at a NYC nightclub hugging, kissing, pulling up his shirt showing sexy abs then romantically dancing in front of everybody.  Then they slipped into the nightclub bathroom perhaps for a screw.  The lovers left separately, but hours later Chris was seen exiting the Gansevoort Hotel where RiRi was staying.  Chris’ girlfriend Karreuche tweets he sent her roses, a teddy bear and sweets.  Who knows what GF thinks.  Chris admits he still loves RiRi and obviously Karreuche.  Jay -Z is threatening to cut Chris off over Rihanna relationship.

RIHANNA AT CHRIS’ “QUBEEY” LAUNCHING WEBSITE PARTY

After the two were seen strolling around NYC, they spent sometime hanging out with each other at a Beverly Hills launch party for Chris’ new fan website “Qubeey.”  This time it looked like Chris and RiRi were just friendly.

CHRIS’ GRAMMY & MTV

Winning a Grammy and landing an MTV show “This is How Chris Brown Made It” after assaulting RiRi he asks his fans “Please Don’t Judge Me.”

BROWN OVERCOMES ANOTHER PROBATION HURDLE

On Thursday, November 1st in a Los Angeles courtroom 23-year-old Chris Brown and his defense attorney, Mark Geragos attend a progress hearing.  Brown who revealed he is seeing ex-girlfriend Rihanna once again has completed his community service and three years of probation.  The probation officer tested him positive for marijuana use in Brown’s State of Virginia where it’s illegal, but Attorney Geragos told the court pot was consumed while Brown was in California where his client has a medical marijuana license.  Attorney Geragos further stated to the court that Brown will be touring out of the country to Trinidad near Rihanna’s native Island of Barbados.  Brown’s probation officer must approve all international travel.  On January 13, 2013 Chris Brown must report for another probation progress report.

RAPPER DRAKE & CHRIS BROWN ESCAPE LEGAL TROUBLES

Due to blurry security cameras and an inconclusive interrogation leading to a flimsy investigation there will be absolutely no criminal charges filed against the rappers or any member of their entourages.  If this is justice after innocent people were hit by flying glass bottles maybe these nightclubs should be forced to invest in better equipment.

CHRIS’ BITTER RANTING TWITTER

Chris Brown shuts down Twitter account with 11 million viewers after using vulgar language and calling Jenny Johnson, Houston comedy writer a “hoe” who took a potshot at rapper’s “2009″ assault on then girlfriend Rihanna.  Brown replied, “Just ask Rihanna if she’s mad at me.”  Rapper deleted Johnson’s comments and returned to Twitter after claiming victory.

CHRIS & HIS FISTS

Feisty Chris Brown allegedly hit gay singer Frank Ocean one of the top nominees for a Grammy outside West Hollywood studio.  Witnesses were questioned by Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and the incident is now under investigation.  Oceans apart Frank has change of heart and drops charges over alleged Chris’ feisty fists!

BEATER-SINGER-FAKER

LA prosecutors suggesting that Chris after assaulting Rihanna in 2009 neglected his Community Service commitments and could find himself back in the pokey.  Mark Geragos says have the prosecutors gone off their rockers?  Breezy’s attorney swears his client was busy scrubbing floors, cleaning toilets and other dirty duties as per the terms of his probation agreement.  Chris Brown to face the music February 6th with court hearing on revoking singer’s probation.  RiRi supports her lover in court.

LANCE BASS SLAMS CHRIS A GUY WITH NO CLASS

Openly-gay and former member of NSYNC Lance Bass slams Chris Brown for his hater-filled comments concerning homosexuals after he got into a fight with gay R&B singer Frank Ocean over a parking space allegedly called him the “f-word” is just like the “n-word” such a derogatory term.

CHRIS’ PORSCHE ON WRONG COURSE

On Saturday, February 9th a day before the Grammys Chris Brown driving in Beverly Hills narrowly escaped injury losing control and totaling his black Porsche that crashed into a wall as he was pursued aggressively by the paparazzi.  Beater-singer is up for a Grammy as best urban contemporary album.  California councilman has sponsored tougher punishment for photographers breaking the law stalking celebrities which has already led to the tragedy of a Bieber chase and death of a paparazzi.  While Chris Brown blames the paparazzi photographers’ agency denies any wrongdoing.

Breezy didn’t look happy winning nothing at the Grammys, but Ocean’s studio debut “channel Orange” did win best contemporary album and best rap/sung collaboration for “No Church in the Wild” with Kanye West, Jay-Z and The-Dream.

CHRIS AND DRAKE SUE OVER NIGHTCLUB FIGHT BLUES

On “V” Day, February 14th Chris Brown and Drake who are both Rihanna lovers sue each other from June, 2012 nightclub fight as another claim is filed for damages and/or injuries sustained by plaintiff French Model Julien.  Brown and Drake say they have nothing to do with alleged acts of other individuals.  The R&B superstar singers do not see why they should be liable for Julien’s injuries.

PLAYHOUSE NIGHTCLUB DOESN’T WANT BROWN/DRAKE FIGHT

Since Feisty Breezy was already inside Hollywood Playhouse attending an anniversary party for clothing brand Popular Demand, club owners were smart to keep the two as far apart as possible!  Rapper Drake the gentleman that he is made an about- face and left the place.  If it was Breezy he might have been mean and angry.

RIRI’S BLOODY KNEE

This time poor RiRi gets attacked not by Chris Brown, but an angry fan at “The Box” nightclub in London.  Somebody who was “bloody mad” threw a bottle (energy drink) at RiRi which scraped her knee and caused it to bleed.  Rihanna and Chris were seen sitting and cuddling together at the “2013″ Grammys.  Her daddy Ronald Fenty forgives Chris Brown the beater-singer for assaulting his daughter.  He believes “Everybody makes mistakes and deserve a second chance.”  Chris and RiRi want to continue their romantic relationship.

LAW & ORDER’S NEW INTENSE EPISODE ON RIRI/BREEZY

Rihanna doesn’t like criticism of Chris relationship yet “Law & Order” has decided to turn the RiRi and Breezy emotional unpredictable connection for a new intense episode.

CHRIS & RIRI IN SUNNY HAWAII

Chris and RiRi in sunny Hawaii to celebrate her “25th” birthday.  Rumors have it that the couple are making wedding plans, but the only thing RiRi has confirmed is that she’s heading back home even though it’s not great to be alone.  Singer insists she’s standing by her man.

CHRIS PLAYING AROUND WHILE RIRI OUT OF TOWN

Chris may say “No way!”  RiRi is on tour and Chris wants to play.  Is he getting freaky with the ladies?  RiRi doesn’t want to “Stay” on tour while Chris is really bored.  Why doesn’t he hop a plane before going insane.

CHRIS DISSES IT OUT TO DRAKE ON R,I.P. REMIX

Chris is pissed.  Drake and I don’t see eye-to-eye ever since we had that nightclub fight when Chris said Rihanna is the love of my life.  Me and Drake will always have opposing views and issues.  Well Rihanna and I are back together again and lovers forever.  Chris admits doing video with RiRi.

CHRIS PARTIES WITH MYSTERIOUS BLONDE CHICK

Who’s this blonde chick with Chris?  Hey Breezy are you just plain dizzy!  RiRi replaced by another date.  Chris was seen at Hollywood’s Playhouse Nightclub holding hands with this blonde chick.  He gave her a bottle of champagne.  Does that mean he expects a lay?  Is this for real?  So what’s the deal?

SINGER’S FINE CHINA

Chris’ new music video for “Fine China” shows Brown pursuing a relationship with an Asian woman despite her disapproving father a Triad leader.  The plot is compared to West Side Story and Chris’ attraction to a heavy influence by Michael Jackson.

“BEAT IT” WRONG LYRICS

You can now listen to Chris’ “Beat It” lyrics which we hope is a hit,  but why did he pick this title reminding us how Chris used his fists!

KARRUECHE OR RIRI?

Breezy celebrating his pre-birthday party with ex-girlfriend Karrueche.  So which is it Karrueche Tran or RiRi?  Well boys must play when RiRi is away.  Rihanna performing with her Diamond tour in NYC.

HASTA LA VISTA CHRIANNA!

Chris and RiRi splitting.  RiRi not happy about Chris cheating.  Damn this man.  He needs to be canned.  Rihanna movin’ on with nothing less than 100% loyalty, honesty and respect!!!!

DEATH THREATS

Someone is making death threats against “meanie” Breezy.  Singer’s attorney Mark Geragos received numerous calls threatening his client’s life which he took seriously and immediately contacted authorities.  Hope they apprehend the culprit!

BROWN RESPONSIBLE FOR FENDER-BENDER?

Breezy’s Range Rover hit a Mercedes while he was cruising around town with Karrueche.  Reportedly heated up Breezy gave the other driver wrong insurance information and wouldn’t give up his driver’s license number.  LAPD is investigating the matter and if it is true this “hit and run” could land the singer in jail as he’s still on probation for beating RiRi.

BREEZY GRAFFITI!

City of LA orders Breezy to cover up his house graffiti or else pay a penalty.  Breezy has responded in legal documents that this graffiti enhances the architectural and esthetic features of his residential property.  Breezy fights for his rights saying, “The murals are a reflection of my esthetic taste and a reflection of free speech, an expression protected by first amendment under United States Constitution.”

GOODBYE RIRI!

What a bummer for troublemaker Breezy who reportedly wants to delete RiRi from his love life and new album.  RiRi can boost records sales, but not what ails Breezy.  Record execs not pleased that Breezy wouldn’t allow the record to be released.

BEATER-SINGER PROBATION VIOLATION

Los Angeles City Attorney has charged 24-year-old beater-singer with  hit-and-run and driving without a license.  Each misdemeanor charge is punishable up to six months in the pokey.  An arraignment is set for the morning of July 15th at Van Nuys courthouse.  Breezy is still on probation for assaulting RiRi leaving her face bruised and bloody while inside a rented Lamborghini on a Hollywood street the evening of 2009 Grammy awards.  The latest charges could result in an additional four years behind steel bars.  Breezy has no desire to wear the color orange!

BET AWARDS PARTY

Lovey-dovey Breezy with his lover coochie-coochie Karreuche seen celebrating at BET Awards party in downtown LA.

VICTIM OPTS TO DROP “HIT AND RUN”

Victim opts to drop “Hit and Run” charges while District Attorney wants time to mull over possible probation violation which could land Breezy in the pokey. but it doesn’t seem likely.

SPONSORS THINKING OF DUMPING BREEZY

From all the controversy including assault on RiRi sponsors are considering dumping Breezy.  Some women’s groups in Canada are boycotting Chris based on his violence.

BREEZY DUMPS KARRUECHE!

Breezy dumps girlfriend Karrueche cause he’d rather be friendly with RiRi.  He needs to be single to focus on his singing and dancing career although RiRi and Breezy have been hanging around each other lately.

SINGER SEIZURE

Chris Brown has a seizure, but says it’s all stress.  He’s just one big mess!  It seems he wants to give up his music.  Chris has got to be sick.

SUING BROWN FOR ASSAULT AND BATTERY

Some guy in a recording studio claims he was punched and kicked by members of Chris’ entourage during fight with fellow singer Frank Ocean says he’s suing R&B singer for assault and battery.  Chris Brown’s lawyer Mark Geragos says he’ll have it dismissed.

BREEZY PARTYING!

Hit and run dismissed by district attorney.  Breezy celebrates with partying! He thanks his lucky stars probation wasn’t revoked and agrees to more  community labor.

CHRIS BROWN AND BODYGUARD LAND IN THE CAN

On Sunday morning October 27th Chris Brown and his bodyguard were arrested on felony assault charges outside a Washington, D.C. hotel for hitting some man with their fists.  This could affect Brown’s probation for domestic violence.  Lawyer says apparently it was the bodyguard who first used his fists.  Chris goes before the court pleading not guilty.  The assault charge is lowered to a misdemeanor.  The judge sets bail and singer is out of jail.  Once again Chris could be “Mr. Lucky,” although his rep says he’s heading to rehab for anger treatment after being let out of the pokey.  Looks like Breezy is catching up to Lindsay.

SINGER OUT OF MALIBU REHAB PAD

Rep says singer is out of a Los Angeles rehab pad, but still faces D.C. court date for misdemeanor assault charges.  Los Angeles judge orders Brown to spend 90-days in rehab treatment for random drug testing, mental health issues and take prescribed medication from his doctor.  The “Love More” singer must complete at least 25 hours of community service a week which Grammy-winner had no objection to conditions.  His violent outburst after Washington, D.C. arrest resulted in his discharge from treatment facility.  It has not been decided whether Brown’s D.C. arrest will lead to revocation of his LA probation.  R&B artist has been ordered by LA judge to return to court on December 16th for a hearing on his 2009 assault charges of his then-girlfriend Rihanna the umbrella singer.

BROWN’S SECOND ROUND

This time it’s no joke that Brown’s probation has been revoked, but he won’t land in the pokey.  Los Angeles Superior Court Judge is pleased with his rehab progress and scheduled a February 10th hearing.  The Grammy winner-singer has been diagnosed with “attention deficit disorder.”  Brown is scheduled to appear on January 8th for his October arrest on a misdemeanor.

CHRIS AND KARRUECHE “2014″ SELFIE!

Looks like Chris and Karrueche are having a lot of fun taking a New Year’s Eve selfie while girlfriend sucks on Brown’s tongue.

BROWN REJECTS D.C. DEAL

Chris Brown along with his bodyguard appeared on January 8th in a D.C. courtroom facing assault charges.  Their lawyers rejected the plea deal citing they need more time to analyze the evidence and agreed to meet again on February 20th waiving Brown’s appearance since he would miss three days of anger management treatment program.

WASHINGTON ALTERCATION

Breezy and his bodyguard sued for $3 mil over Washington, D.C. hotel altercation.  Victim wants the money to cover his medical bills.

BROWN’S BIPOLAR-DISORDER

Los Angeles judge orders singer back into rehab for another two months because of bipolar-disorder.

CHRIS THROUGH WITH KARRUECHE

Chris and Karrueche breakup, but will there be more Rihanna drama?

BROWN PROBATION VIOLATION

Brown booted from Malibu rehab was arrested on probation warrant in Los Angeles and held with no bail landed in county jail.

GUNS AND KNIVES COMMENT

On Monday, March 17, 2014 at court hearing judge rules Chris Brown will stay in jail for one month due to his “rehab guns and knives” comment.  Brown is not eating or sleeping.  He’s actually weeping!

BROWN TAKEN INTO CUSTODY AND TRANSPORTED TO D.C.

Federal Marshals take Chris Brown into custody and transport him to D.C. for trial on misdemeanor assault charge.  Singer won’t be attending hearing.  Brown walks a fine line where he could face additional penalties and jail time.

CHRIS’ LAWYER WANTS CASE DISMISSED

Mark Geragos Chris Brown’s lawyer wants case dismissed because prosecutors abused grand jury process to prepare for trial while judge agreed with prosecutors that they had the right to use a grand jury to assess the strength of their case.  Victim says Brown and bodyguard punched him in the face.  On April 17th a judge will hear the case not a jury when Brown’s bodyguard is scheduled to go to trial before winning-Grammy singer.  During a brief appearance on Friday, April 18th Brown wearing an orange jumpsuit waved in the courtroom to his supporters, mother and rapper Bow Wow. Chris Brown’s assault trial is set for Monday, April 21st in D.C. Superior Court.

JUDGE CONVICTS BODYGUARD ON ASSAULT CHARGE

Judge Patricia Wynn convicts Brown’s bodyguard Christopher Hollosy of an assault charge he admitted to which Maryland man said singer and his bodyguard punched him.

BROWN OUT OF THE POKEY BY MONDAY?

Chris Brown could be out of the pokey by Monday, May 12th and serve 131 more days of a one-year sentence after admitting to violating probation.  He’ll also be continuing therapy and drug testing.

BREEZY OUT OF THE POKEY

Breezy and powerful attorney Mark Geragos had the singer released at the stroke of midnight on June 5, 2014 after serving 108 days in the pokey.  His D.C. trial is still looming.

CHRIS SMILES AS HE SAYS GOODBYE TO SINGLE LIFESTYLE

25-year-old Chris Brown is finally settling down selling his bachelor pad in Hollywood Hills preparing to build dream home with lovely 26-year-old girlfriend Karrueche.

VACAY IN SAINT-TROPEZ

Chris Brown dances atop his yacht soaking up the sun while vacationing with friends in Saint-Tropez nestled along the French Rivera.

* * * * * *

© Copyright 2011 – 2014

Lyrics created by (Francke) the Yankee

aka The Jester from Westchester (Satire)

All Rights Reserved

February 13, 2013 – Congress sends sweeping expansion of 1994 “Violence Against Women Act” renewing the law to include gays. lesbians, transgender people, Native Americans and immigrants under its protection.  The bill goes to President Obama for his signature.

February 4, 2013 – Senate tries to move anti-violence bill protecting women from domestic abuse while broadening protections for Native Americans, gays and lesbians.  The Democratic-led Senate and GOP House passed extensions of the 1994 Violence Against Women Act, but were unable to bridge a bipartisan divide and reach a compromise.

September 30, 2011 – VP Joe Biden and wife Dr. Jill Biden speak out on tenth anniversary of  “Domestic Violence Act” stating it should be addressed on teen dating in schools and college campuses.

President Obama speaks on Domestic Violence: one-in-every-four women experience domestic abuse in her lifetime.  The President has introduced legislation to fight domestic violence.

(Fighting Domestic Violence Against Women)

Posted by admin on August 31, 2009 under Celebrity Crimes in Rhyme, Chris Brown Beater-Singer, Domestic Violence | Be the First to Comment

Dipsy Lindsay “Mean Street Girl” always in a turmoil (Satire for Liars)

KICK DRUG & ALCOHOL ADDICTION

Are you an addict ready to panic?  Well don’t let cocaine dissolve your brain and have you bow down to shame shame.  Support crack and you’ll never come back.  No one will ever know where you’re at.

Don’t lose your mind over booze.  It’s an emotional ride that takes away a human beings pride.  Gotta be part of the in-crowd, but look who’s dragging you down.

Breaking the habit is tough to do and it’s all up to you.  So throw that weed away.  Let it not overcome you one more day.  Afraid you’re not brave?  Just how long do you want to be a slave?  Think it’s great to feel high?  Ever wonder what it’s like to die?

DIPSY LINDSAY

California Judge Elden Fox had 24-year-old Lindsay Lohan locked up so she could survive.  What’s more important then staying alive?

Teary-eyed Lindsay is saddened by the fact that after serving a short jail sentence the judge court ordered her to spend 90-days in rehab.  Hopefully she’ll get her act together and stay on the right track.

Too bad sad Lindsay got out early from rehab at the UCLA Medical Center on August 24th, 2010 and then failed to pass two drug tests.  The actress is distressed.  Her life has become one big mess.  She could land a 30-day stretch back in the can.

Lindsay is appearing at a Friday Beverly Hills court hearing.  Life is no joke Lindsay.  Your probation could be revoked.  On September 24th Judge Fox had Loco LiLo handcuffed and sent back to jail with no bail.  Until her next court hearing on October 22nd, the messed up actress will do some hard time behind bars.

30-day jail sentence derailed.  Assistant supervising Judge Patricia Schnegg of the Los Angeles Criminal Courts sets $300,000 bail after stamping her approval.

Thie messed up starlet must report back to authorities in 24 hours to be fitted for a “Scram” alcohol monitoring bracelet.  The judge’s order specifically reads that Lindsay must stay out of public places that sell alcoholic beverages, no possession of any drugs or socializing with drug users and be willing to submit at any time there’s a law enforcement search with or without a warrant, probable cause or suspicion.

Lindsay has left Lynwood’s Detention Center this evening.  She entered the famous Betty Ford Center, a live-in rehab facility in Rancho Mirage, California.  Lindsay is a repeat offender and has not done a thing to help herself from sinking.  Lilo better not be late for her October 22nd probation violation hearing.

The judge has ordered Lindsay to stay at Betty Ford Rehab Facility until January.  If Lindsay fails to comply with the rules she’ll be sent to the pokey for 180 days.  By the way, we hear that Lindsay cannot afford Betty Ford’s $50,000 rehab for 90 days.  She’s pissed most of her money away.

Is this for real?  Lindsay finally has permission to get behind the wheel.  The Betty Ford facility has decided to give Lindsay the car keys, but it doesn’t mean she can hit the streets like a crazy creep.  Lindsay got her driver’s license reinstated by the Probation Department of LA County.  Binging Lindsay will only be able to drive when she’s dismissed from the the sober clinic.

Authorities maybe putting Lindsay’s tail back in jail with no bail.  They believe she violated probation after she allegedly had a physical altercation over alcohol screening with a clinic technician.  In addition, prosecutors will not stop their pursuit of battery charges against Lindsay even though the victim wants her case dropped.

THIEVING LINDSAY

Now that Lindsay has moved to Venice, California she allegedly stole a piece of jewelry on January 22nd, necklace valued at $2,500 that would put her away for three years in a state prison.  This latest violation together with her attack on an employee at the Betty Ford Clinic could throw Lindsay in the pokey.  The distraught starlet is due back in LA Superior Court February 9th for arraignment on charges of Felony Grand Theft.  Her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley says Lindsay did not steal the jewelry.  Lohan pleads “Not Guilty” before Superior Court Judge Keith L. Schwartz who reprimands the starlet and sets her bail at $20,000 for a 2007 probation charge on drunken driving.  Judge Schwartz was not impressed with LiLo’s $500 skin-tight dress.  The judge tells Lindsay this is no joke and provokes her probation setting bail at $40,000 which keeps her out of jail.  Lindsay’s next court hearing is on Wednesday, February 23rd when her case will be heard.

She’s already been replaced by another actress to play “Linda Lovelace.”  Director William Wilder says it’s sad that Lindsay has been in and out of rehab.  Lohan was good publicity for the film, but recently she has been extremely unruly and unpredictable.  What a shame her stardom has gone down the drain.

TELL-IT-TO-THE-JUDGE

Lindsay appears before Superior Court Judge Schwartz on Wednesday telling him she will not cop a plea, “I’m not guilty.”  Judge informs Lindsay that plea deal in the theft case will include jail time and she’ll probably lose her bail.

A new court date is set for March 10th to either accept prosecutor’s plea deal or go to trial on the allegations of stealing an expensive piece of jewelry.  Extra gets an exclusive interview with Lindsay since she’s left her rehab pad.

LINDSAY’S TWO-WEEK PLEA DEAL SCHPEAL

On March 10th the distraught Lindsay wearing another tight sexy dress and “FU” nails that could land her in jail is once again late for her court date before Judge Schwartz.  The actress was told to return to his courtroom on March 25th if she cut a plea with prosecutors.  If this falls through she will appear before another presiding judge at a preliminary hearing on April 22nd to determine if there’s existing evidence for the actress to stand trial.  Meanwhile the presiding judge will decide whether the alleged jewelry theft was in violation of Lindsay’s “2007″ parole for a DUI.  Either way Lindsay will probably go to jail with no bail.  Since LA jails are overcrowded the actress won’t spend much time in the pokey.

LINDSAY CLEARED OF ASSAULTING REHAB EMPLOYEE

As there is insufficient evidence to prove prosecutor’s case, charges are dropped against Lindsay for rehab battery against a Betty Ford Center Palm Desert employee.

RICH VICTIM

Venice jeweler makes a cash deal for $40,000 giving exclusive rights to the Associated Press which in turn gave Entertainment Tonight and The Insider a surveillance video tape showing Lindsay allegedly stealing the jewelry.

Once the theft case has been resolved, Kamofie & Company will be auctioning the famous necklace with the proceeds going to charity.  The jewelry remains under lock and key with authorities.

Jeweler charging $2.99 for internet users to view the actress allegedly stealing a piece of jewelry.

SEAL A BOOK DEAL

Jeweler who allegedly accused Lindsay of stealing a necklace says there maybe a book deal.  Are these people for real?

LINDAY’S DAD IN THE PAD

50-year-old Michael Lohan was arrested in Beverly Hills for allegedly attacking and injuring his live-in girlfriend, Kate Major.  Then Michael got ill and was taken to the hospital.  He’s expected back in court on May 23rd for arraignment with bail set at $30,000 keeping him out of jail.

LINDSAY MIGHT PLAY THE LATE SHARON TATE

Lindsay has been offered to play the murdered actress Sharon Tate whose fate was decided by Charles Manson and crazy family.

LINDSAY WILL NO LONGER STAR IN JOHN GOTTI MOVIE

From daughter to wife to no longer starring in Gotti movie about the infamous crime family.  Lindsay is out and Kelly Preston is in as Victoria, the wife in Gotti movie.  Other actors in the dramatic film will be John Travolta playing Gotti Sr. and Joe Pesci as one of the deputies.

DISTRAUGHT ACTRESS HEADS TO COURT

On Good Friday, April 22nd the actress headed to a preliminary hearing with her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley to see whether there’s enough evidence for Lindsay to stand trial on June 3rd for the probation violation. Will the distressed actress ever get out of this mess?

JAILBIRD BAIL

Judge Sautner revokes Lindsay’s probation which lands her in the pokey for 120 days.  Lohan’s attorney will appeal the ruling setting bail at $75,000 which keeps the starlet out of jail.  Although the judge reduced the jewelry theft to a misdemeanor he ordered Lindsay to serve more than 400 hours of community service including 300 hours at a women’s center.   Lindsay heads to the Los Angeles coroner’s morgue for janitorial toilet cleaning.

ACTRESS MAY GET HOUSE ARREST

Lindsay takes full responsibility in court on Wednesday, May 11th and pleads no contest to necklace theft case.  The actress is trying for a comeback and wants to get her life on the right track.  She may get house-arrest which the county sheriff may approve before she reports to jail on the 17th of June.  As a result of the plea judge ordered three years’ supervised probation, psychological counseling and a program for anti-shoplifting.

DISTRESSED ACTRESS COURT-ORDERED HOUSE ARREST

On Thursday morning, May 26th the distressed actress began serving a reduced 35-day sentence court-ordered house arrest due to jail overcrowding by reporting to Lynwood Detention Center where she was fitted with a monitoring ankle bracelet.  Sheriff’s Department says the starlet might be released from home confinement on June 29th.

LINDSAY PARTYING

While on house arrest Lindsay invites a small group of party guests to her 3,000 square foot Venice townhouse for a barbecue and fun under the sun.  Everybody was laughing and smoking.  They all had a ball!

The starlet admits to Life & Style Magazine that house arrest is so much better than the “12-by-8 foot” cell of hell.  She’s been catching up with things to do around her townhouse.  Can’t wait to go out for a walk, talk to neighbors and go shopping.

ALCOHOLIC ACTRESS

Lindsay who tested positive for alcohol after a barbecue party is called back to court appearing before Judge Stephanie Sautner for a June 23rd Thursday morning probation violation hearing.

LINDSAY NOT GUILTY

There was no crime this time as Judge Sautner tells Lindsay, but you’re still on house arrest so there’s “No More Partying.” inside your home and not on the rooftop.  The only thing you’re guilty of is “poor judgment.”  Lindsay’s attorney told the news media her client did nothing wrong and should not have been tested for alcohol.  She’s allowed to drink alcohol in her home.  It is perfectly legal.

In a previous written order signed by Judge Fox, the only requirement was controlled substances testing from January through February.  Lindsay was reprimanded by Judge Sautner who told her that she will only be allowed one friend at a time to come over to her Venice apartment including family members or business associates while on house arrest.  There is absolutely no drug or alcohol testing in effect.  The judge tells Lindsay you must not ignore probation calls whether you’re inside the apartment or on rooftop.  Mafia actress is expected to serve only 35 days due to her good behavior.

LINDSAY IN TWO MAFIA MOVIES

Producer Marc Fiore of Gotti:Three Generations has put 25-year-old Lindsay who just celebrated her birthday back into the movie.  Lohan told Fiore she definitely wanted a leading role and convinced him to change his mind after the starlet walked a thin line.  Now Lindsay will be playing Kim Gotti wife of John Gotti, Jr. which stars John Travolta.  Lindsay will also be starring in Fiore’s other mafia flick “Mob Street” where she plays wife of lead character Bobby Bataglia.

LILO IN $1200 STILETTOS FOR PROBATION REVIEW

Lindsay walks back into court with $1200 stilettos for probation review on community service, psychological counseling, shoplifting course and court costs.  Probation officer’s report filed with court shows defendant has not provided proof she’s complied with any of the aforesaid conditions.  Officer claims on several occasions he contacted defendant through her assistant, but no one answered.  Attorney Shawn Chapman Holley says her client has completed some of the requirements.  Once again probation officer says he has not received proof of these pending issues.  Attorney states actress has not worked in enough movies entitling her to Guild Health Benefits for payment of counseling.  Judge commands Lohan return to court offering proof she has complied with these programs.

LINDSAY’S EX GETS PICKED UP

Lindsay’s ex-girlfriend, 33-year-old Samantha Ronson, British DJ who frequents LA was arrested on suspicion of DUI while speeding showed signs of being dipsy.  She was taken into Sheriff’s Office of San Bernardino County.  Ronson told authorities she was on her way home from a gig on Las Vegas strip.

MEAN GIRL PISSED OVER RAPPER PITBULL LYRICS

Mean Girl suing writers Ne-Yo, Afrojack and Pitbull over “Give Me Everything” music lyrics as her legal team claim the words referring to plaintiff Lindsay Lohan are defamatory.  Rapper Pitbull was shocked that Lindsay was suing over what she felt were bad remarks.  If anything he thought the lyrics would help her career.

LINDSAY PROBATION HEARING + TEETH YELLOWING

Lindsay the pretty prima donna goes before Honorable Judge Stephanie Sautner.  The judge who is provoked by Lindsay not completing the conditions of community service has her probation revoked.  Contrary Lindsay did not feel catering to abused women was fulfilling.  Probation Department then assigned her to the Red Cross which judge tossed out of court.  The “mean girl” who loves to hit the party trail was handcuffed, but bondsman will most likely bail her out of jail.   Lindsay’s “day of reckoning” is Wednesday,  November 2nd when she may be sent to jail for a year in a half, but that is unlikely due to overcrowding.  In the meantime judge ordered Lindsay to serve 16 hours of morgue duty cleaning up the bad stuff.  Lindsay posted $100,000 bail and now she’s out of jail.  Rumors have it that Lindsay will be on good behavior while on community service hoping the judge won’t send her back to the pokey.

ARRIVES LATE FOR MORGUE DATE

First day Calamity Jane was late for her morgue initiation date.  Her driver in a swanky Cadillac rode around, but could not find the entrance or main gate.  Next day Lindsay arrives on time assigned to cleaning toilets, wiping up morgue’s floors and washing dirty bloody laundry.  She tries to apologize by having her assistant deliver burgers and gourmet cupcakes to volunteers working at the morgue inside a trailer.  Then cupcakes were delivered to the morgue staff which did not go well as Lindsay was told by Chief Coroner “They are not there to accept food.”  Maybe Lindsay was brooding, but next time she’ll  know better and won’t get upset.

CATWALK MODELING CONTRACT IN JEOPARDY

Bratty Lindsay signed $500,000 modeling contract with German designer to go to Milan, Italy.  Now that’s in jeopardy.  The designer says it’s extremely disappointing to hear of Lohan’s legal difficulties.  Attorney Shawn Chapman Holley states Lindsay will definitely clean up her act and that the catwalk modeling contract should not be sacked.

LINDSAY’S NUDE SCENE IN “PLAYBOY” MAGAZINE

A million bucks lands Lindsay another contract in a nude scene with Playboy magazine.  Since Miss Lindsay needs the money she’ll take off her clothes and give the fellows a good show.  Lindsay has teeth “zoom whitening” by dentist Dr. Bill Dorfman who appeared on ABCs “Extreme Makeover” before she went to Playboy Halloween Party.

LINDSAY HAPPY & TWEETING DAD ARRESTED ON BATTERY

Lindsay is very happy tweeting about her dad arrested on battery.  Once again Michael Lohan is arrested on alleged domestic violence battery charges.  Apparently he got a “hard on” and was pissed when his girlfriend, Kate Majors would not give him a blow job.  They had a fight, she got bruised and accused Lohan who told police he had chest pains and was taken to Tampa, Florida hospital.  Michael Lohan was then transported to jail, booked in his hospital gown and arrested with no bail.  He hires a lawyer and is released, but then calls girlfriend harassing her after judge issued a restraining order.  Police get arrest warrant and try to nab Lohan as he tries to flee jumping off third floor of Tampa motel balcony into a tree.  He was taken to Hillsboro Hospital with a possible foot injury.  Michael Lohan is now back in the pokey.  Dina Lohan previously filed papers on her ex-husband’s neglect for six months’ back payments of $12,000 in child support.

On Saturday, October 29, 2011 Michael Lohan appeared in court looking distraught.  He was not excused from the charges and went back to jail without bail.  Lohan is scheduled for ” Celebrity Boxing” show with a list of stars, including Octomon, but who know if he’ll be able to go.

Lindsay’s dad appeared on Dr. Drew’s “Celebrity Rehab.”  He’s had more controversy with the law.  Lilo is on good terms with Dina Lohan, her mother.

DINA LOHAN HOOKED ON “TELL-IT-ALL BOOK”

Dina Lohan is writing a book on her daughter Lindsay’s drug addiction, but not on her inner dark secrets which angers Michael Lohan who’s no angel himself tellling celebrity gossip columnist he doesn’t like his ex-wife exposing the family and Lindsay.  Dina is trying to raise money for her son Michael to star in a movie.

LINDSAY RETURNING TO POKEY

Judge Sautner orders Lindsay to 30-day stay in the pokey for not completing her assignment at Women’s Shelter.  This is the “7th” court appearance for the actress who will have to put her life on hold reporting to the Century Regional Detention Center Facility in Lynwood, California by November 9th.  After the “bad girl” gets out of jail she will have to serve more morgue duty and continue psychotherapy.  Judge agrees that Lindsay can complete her “Playboy” nude photo shoot before entering the pokey.

OKIE DOKIE BACK IN THE POKEY

Lindsay gets her tail back into jail spending four hours on Sunday night, November 6th at the Lynwood Facility then it’s back to morgue duty.

LINDSAY “HOOVER PARTY CRASHER”

After Lindsay got out of jail she headed to Hollywood’s Roosevelt Hotel for Leo DiCaprio’s “J. Edgar” movie celebration party.  The distressed actress allegedly wasn’t invited, but after sounding off with security and some celebrity name dropping they finally let her in.  Hopefully she didn’t go on another drinking binge.

LINDSAY & ALI IN HAWAII

Since Lindsay has been on good behavior and ahead of Morgue schedule, Probation Officer approves her short vacation to the beautiful Hawaiian Island.  Lilo will be taking her sister, Ali while the actress tries to hide from the Paparazzi over her nude leaked Internet Playboy photos.

SEXY LINDSAY OWES TAX MONEY – LET’S MAKE A DEAL!

Uncle Sam has filed a lien against Lindsay claiming she owes them $93,000 for “2009″ in tax money.  She can afford to pay them after making $1 million stripping.  The “Mean Girl” was unaware of her tax burden and is now planning on hiring a new financial team.

PAPARAZZI SUING

A paparazzi is suing for “2010″ vehicle accident by her assistant who allegedly caused him injuries.  Lindsay’s attorney made an offer, but paparazzi says settlement is insignificant.

ACTRESS GETS RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST STALKER

Lindsay gets two-year court order from LA Superior Judge restraining stalker David Corcodan not to come within 100 yards of her.  Actress claimed she feared for her life when Corcodan came to her home on three occasions, sent more than 100 text messages and phone calls to her residence.  It’s believed Mr. Corcodan to be a schizophrenic so the case is being handled by LAPD Threat Management Team.

GLOWING PROBATION FOR “FREAKY FRIDAY” LINDSAY

On Wednesday, February 22nd the 25-year-old actress looking very pretty wearing a mint dress and trench coat escorted by her mother once again returns to court for her latest progress report.  This time a smiling and pleased Judge Stephanie Sautner ruffling through some papers had only one thing to say to the former “Hollywood Hell on Heels” that she was on track with her new probation requirements attending scheduled morgue duty and therapy.  Her attorney, Shawn Holley told news reporters that Ms. Lohan hopes to complete the entire process ahead of court’s March 29th deadline.  Lindsay scheduled to host March 3rd “SNL” episode.

LINDSAY COMPETING TO PLAY LIZ TAYLOR

So who has the best chance to win Lindsay or superstar Megan Fox for the leading role of legendary Elizabeth Taylor in Lifetime TV movie on “Liz and Rick’s” love story?

SULTRY NOT NUDITY

Lindsay looking sultry posing this time with clothes on for Munich German designer Philipp Plein’s Spring “2012″ collection.

LILO’S NEW LEFT WRIST TATTOO

After getting inked on her rib cage with a Billy Joel lyric tattoo Lilo wants to prove with another tattoo on her left wrist “Live Without Regrets” ending girlfriend, Samantha Ronson relationship and March 29th probation.

PEDESTRIAN ALLEGEDLY STRUCK BY LINDSAY’S MASERATI

Pedestrian suing after allegedly crossing a West Hollywood intersection hit by Lindsay’s hot Maserati.  The accident occurred back in September, 2010 when Lindsay was drinking.

LINDSAY WILL SUE CLAIMS FOR BINGING

Lindsay says she will sue anyone for stating she is binging.  The actress is on the right track and has cleaned up her act.

DATING HENRY

This might be love at first sight.  Lindsay dating Henry Lee Hopper son of the late actor, Dennis Hopper.  Oooh LiLo – Way to go!

LILO MOVES TO HOTEL

The neighbors are elated!  Lilo has moved from Venice Beach into her new digs at West Hollywood Chateau Marmont Hotel.  Around 9:00 pm from her nearby room Lilo and pal Courtnenay Semel went onto the outdoor patio restaurant joking and smoking with male servers and bartenders.  There’s nothing like partying!

LILO LANDS LEADING LIFETIME ROLE

Not good news for actress Megan Fox.  Lindsay officially lands leading role on “Lifetime” Elizabeth Taylor biopic flick.  Lilo will stop by “Saturday Night Live”  for a hosting gig on March 3rd (maybe do a skit with Kristin Wiig?)  Of course there’s one condition, Lindsay must be a “perfect angel” since she’s still under probation.  Can’t wait to see Lindsay playing Lizzy.  Lifetime has taken out insurance in case they get stuck and Lindsay doesn’t show up.

LOHAN ON MATT LAUER’S “TODAY SHOW”

Lindsay tells Matt Lauer how morgue duty and two women she works with and everyone there have been so helpful. nice and kind to me.   It’s been a learning experience how to live life again in a way that makes her happy doing the things she wants to do.

LINDSAY’S “SNL” HIGH RATINGS

At last Lindsay poked fun at her troubled past.  She did a “Real Housewives” skit with Disney princesses.  On March 3rd SNL scored 5.5 high ratings and dominated late-night viewers who obviously wanted to see Lindsay.

LILO’S POSSIBLE PROBATION VIOLATION

Redheaded LiLo partying at Hollywood’s Sayers Club was pulling out when Paparazzi like a swam of bees surrounded actresses’ new $175,000 Porsche blocking her from leaving. The car already has $10,000 worth of damage when it was previously hit after Lindsay loaned the vehicle to her 22-year-old girlfriend.  Lilo had made a turn when she allegedly grazed “Hookah Lounge” manager’s knee.  Lohan left when manager said he was okay and police closed the case, but now it seems manager may press charges.  Police can open “hit and run ” investigation if manager decides to sue dipsy Lindsay.

LILO PUTS HERSELF IN LOCKDOWN

Lindsay excluding partying and is finally listening.  She’s decided to put herself on “House Arrest” until her next scheduled court date March 29th as she thought it best after alleged “hit and run” accident.

SMILING LINDSAY

25-year-old Lindsay looking as happy as can be leaves an LA courtroom completing months of community service and psychotherapy.  Dressed appropriately in a powder-blue suit as Judge Stephanie Sautner praised the actress, but at the same time told her to grow up, stop clubbing, focus on working, Lindsay looking quite relieved thanked the judge and hugged her attorney.  Judge warns “Mean Girl” she will remain on “informal probation” until 2014 for the 2011 jewelry theft and must report regularly to court, although no longer compelled to live in Los Angeles as long as she stays out of trouble.  Lindsay went partying to celebrate at the famous West Hollywood Chateau Montmart Hotel where she is living.

WOMAN ACCUSES LINDSAY OF NIGHTCLUB BATTERY

On Saturday, April 7th a woman named Marisa Dugas filed a complaint with the LA County Sheriff’s Department against Lindsay Lohan accusing actress when she approached this table inside “Smoke & Mirrors” started talking to some guy, Lindsay allegedly pushed and shoved her.  The confrontation supposedly took place on Thursday night, April 5th inside West Hollywood “Smoke and Mirrors” nightclub which publicist says his client did not go to this club where incident allegedly occurred.  Standard Hotel worker says he saw Lindsay allegedly attacking a woman.  Lindsay was part of the scuffle and he broke it up.  The woman was escorted out of the club crying Lindsay hurt me.  Woman refused medical attention.  There is surveillance video showing back of hotel where supposedly Lindsay pulled in her car and later left the parking lot.  It’s not been confirmed if the man spoke to police.  They have requested the hotel tape, but management is refusing to give it up.  Detectives are still investigating the incident.  Lindsay says she was definitely at home that entire evening and wants an investigation.

LINDSAY CAUGHT LYING

Police have the surveillance video and it shows Lindsay was at the Smoke & Mirrors nightclub partying.  Now investigators want to interview Lindsay.  What would Judge Stephanie think about Lindsay lying?

TRY TO FIND ANOTHER PASTIME

There must be something else Lindsay can do without clubbing?  What about knitting or crocheting?

LINDSAY “PRIMA DONNA” ON GLEE

Lindsay filming her May 15th guest appearance as a judge on “Glee” not only walks in six hours late pissing off cast and crew, but the prima donna is already making demands about the size of her trailer.

ROSIE SLAMS LINDSAY

Loudmouth Rosie appearing as a panelist on the “Today” show calls Lindsay a “crackhead” and slams starlet’s casting as screen icon, Lizzy.  Rosie says, “The young actress is far from capable of portraying the Cleopatra star.  The last thing Lindsay did good was when she was 16.”  Spokesperson for Lindsay said Rosie should be focusing on her own career and not someone else in order to keep herself in the public arena.  O’Donnell was recently cancelled from Oprah Winfrey’s “OWN” talk show for low ratings and possibly badmouthing.

MISSED RED-EYE FROM LA TO D.C.

On Friday, April 27th Lindsay somehow didn’t get her act together as she unfortunately missed catching red-eye from LA to DC for White House Correspondents’ Dinner.  Of course her attorney Shawn Holley and George Clooney were on the flight.  Maybe Lindsay was up late last night partying.  She and her famous attorney are expected to sit next to sexy Kim Kardashian, Columbian actress Sofia Vergara who was never a “hooker” and handsome George Clooney.  Jessica Alba cancelled the last minute when she found out Lindsay would be sitting next to her.  Well Lindsay finally arrived in D.C. just in time for dinner and appetizers a la Obama!

LINDSAY HOPS PLANE TO NYC

Who gives a screw as long as Lindsay can go partying and drinking with two guys at Goldbar’s nightspot in NYC until the wee hours of Sunday morning after upsetting the crew of “Glee” with tardiness and then somehow getting on the White House dinner guest list.  Hopefully Lindsay won’t be picked up for a DUI and keeps her date with Lifetime.

EX-LOVAAH SAMANTHA

Ex-lovaah Samantha Ronson seen with Lindsay laughing, whispering, partying and dancing Wednesday evening at NYC’s Le Baron pub couldn’t get enough of each other.  Hey, we hope it’s not like the good old days.  No way!!!

LINDSAY OFF THE HOOKAH!

After manager of “Hookah Lounge” accused Lindsay of hit-and-run seems he’s refusing to cooperate with law enforcement including not producing medical statements.  Since lounge manager, Thaer Kamal has apparently changed his story district attorney is closing the case.  Too bad Lindsay can’t erase the “assault” case.

LINDSAY DINING WITH WOODY

The pair were reportedly seen dining in NYC at Phillippe Restaurant with the famed director’s step-daughter-turned-wife Soon-Yi Previn.  They claim pretty Lindsay may be working on Woody’s next zany project.  Perhaps this is just what Lindsay needs to get back into some serious “A” list movies.  Who would have guessed Lindsay the successor to actress Scarlett Johansson heading for Broadway.

LIZZY STAR AT A&E

26-year-old Lindsay walking down the red carpet at Lincoln Center dressed in a gold laci mini, matching shoes and orange glowing tinge with darker brows.  Wow! is this the new Lizzy?

DINA “REALTY SHOW” CAMEO

Dina who has already done one stunt on “E” co-starring in “Living Lohan” is now doing her newest gig “Hollywood Exes” featuring the ex-wives of Prince, Will Smith, R. Kelly and Eddie Murphy.  Although she’s not a full-time member of the cast and was never married to a celebrity Dina is friendly with members of the cast, producers feel she’ll use her mama skills.

THERE GOES LILO’S WARDROBE

It was quite embarrassing for Lilo’s malfunctioning wardrobe as her 43-year-old co-star actor Grant Bowler (playing Richard Burton) pulled the actress from a doorway she popped out of a halter top sundress filming first scene of Lifetime movie “Liz and Dick.”  This did not upset Lindsay as she appeared to be rather amused.  Too bad we didn’t get to see her boobs!

CRASH AND SMASH!

On Friday, June 8th Lindsay and a male passenger luckily escape bodily injury when she collided into a 18-wheeler truck with her black Porsche on California’s  Pacific Coast highway on way to Lifetime movie set project.  The Porsche a 911 sports car has latest safety improvements with six air bags that protect head-on crashes.  Police say neither Lindsay nor truck driver were under influence of drugs or alcohol.  The actress and her passenger were taken to the hospital as a precautionary measure.  Pictures of Lindsay’s black Porsche show a crushed front and smashed windows.  Truck driver that got rear ended by Lindsay said she tried to flee the scene.  When he tried to stop her Lindsay’s team of representatives removed a mysterious bag from her smashed vehicle then attempted to bribed him.  They were in back of her Porsche in s Cadillac Escalade limousine.  Lilo calls truck driver a liar alleging bribery on someone trying to make a fast buck.  Police are investigating.

LINDSAY AND PORN STAR IN “THE CANYONS” MOVIE

Lindsay got screwed for the part of “Linda Lovelace” but now she’s finally getting the chance to work with a real porn star, James Deen (no relation to deceased actor James Dean) in the movie, “The Canyons” which will begin filming July 9th.  Deen was named adult male performer of the year in 2009.  Lindsay plays Tara a former model and girlfriend of Deen “trust fund kid” manipulator named Christian.

“LIZ & DICK” STAR GETS SICK

Lohan who is staying at the Ritzy Carlton in Marina del Ray near exhaustion as paramedics rushed to the scene the situation wasn’t as bad as it seemed.  Her rep says that Lindsay was working on the set of “Liz & Dick” from 7 p.m. to 8 a.m. went back to her hotel room to catch a nap.   Producers were concerned and called paramedics, but found she was suffering from exhaustion and dehydration.

LOHAN’S EXHAUSTION PROMPTS UNION INQUIRY

Lindsay had been complaining of working 85 hours in 4 days on the “Liz & Dick” production causing her exhaustion.   SAG-AFTRA union which represents actors and crew members limit the number of hours working on a television or movie set investigating the situation spoke to representatives of production company who will certainly be billed for penalties.

STATE TAKES DISCIPLINARY ACTION ON HANDLING DUI CASE

Two Los Angeles County Superior Court judges Marsha Revel and Elden Fox have been disciplined by a state watchdog panel for their handling of Lindsay’s DUI case.  The commissioned panel acted relevant to accusations that Judge Revel improperly met privately with an attorney who wanted to take over Lindsay’s defense and that Judge Fox denied actress bail on a minor charge while refusing to hear her attorney’s arguments.  Revel and Fox declined to comment.

LINDSAY “CHOWS” DOWN

Lindsay sat down at “Mr. Chows” LA restaurant with some nice looking mystery man and was seen drinking a martini.  For sure the paparazzi spotted dipsy Lindsay looking a little tipsy.  It’s just bad press for the actress.

SEXY LINDSAY SUNBATHING

26-year-old Lindsay who just got through filming “The Canyons” is looking pretty sexy in a white low-cut swimsuit flaunting her boobs at an LA hotel pool.

LOHAN BANNED FROM HOTEL

The famous Chateau Montmart Hotel in Hollywood has banned Lohan on August 1st from their premises where she stayed for 47 days.  The actress still owes a $46,000 bill which includes room service, dining but no wine since this princess no longer drinks alcoholic beverages.  Liz & Dick producers will pay Lindsay’s $46,000 hotel bill in exchange for agreeing to an exclusive interview by Barbara Walters on “20/20″ in November.

LINDSAY SUSPECT IN ANOTHER JEWELRY THEFT

LAPD clears Lindsay on Tuesday, August 28th while she is still on probation and was a possible suspect dropped the investigation for lack of evidence in an alleged $100,000 jewelry burglary while attending her millionaire friend Sam Magid’s Hollywood Hills party.  Magid believes it may be two other men Lindsay brought to the party.

DINA INTERVIEW WITH DR. PHIL

A tearful Dina Lohan sat down with Dr. Phil and talked about her ex-husband Michael.  Dr. Phil remarks about Dina’s odd behavior and tells her how impossible it is to understand the quotes as she sticks up her middle finger.  Dumbfounded and priceless expression Dr. Phil gave up trying to make any sense of  Lindsay’s momager’s answers.

LINDSAY ARRESTED IN NYC

Here she goes again, Dipsy Lindsay arrested and charged with leaving scene of an accident in the wee hours of  Wednesday, September 19th as 26-year-old actress left a nightclub pulling into Dream Hotel in Chelsea driving her Porsche down an alley then allegedly grazing or barely missing some male who claimed he had a knee injury and went to a local hospital.  Police said Lindsay was not drinking.  She was given a ticket for an October 23rd court hearing.

LINDSAY RECOVERING

Lindsay got sick in NYC with an asthma attack and went to a hospital for treatment according to her representative.   Dina Lohan said her daughter has been treated with “bronchial asthma” ever since she was a little girl.  The actress who is starring in “Scary Movie” with Charlie Sheen said he was great to work with and gave her some good business tips.

MAN ASSAULTS LOHAN AT NYC HOTEL

On September 30th, Lohan was allegedly assaulted by a man she met at a Manhattan nightspot confronting him about pics he was taking of her partying on his cellphone.  There are conflicting stories that Lindsay asked Labella to borrow his cellphone because her battery went dead, then she discovered photos he took of her at the nightclub, but Labella says Lindsay took the cellphone without his permission refusing to return it.  Lohan first met the suspect 25-year-old Christian Labella at 1 Oak Nightclub in Chelsea early Sunday morning before returning to the W Hotel in Union Square where she was staying.  Lindsay brought some friends, one woman and two men to her guest room after partying.  They say the two got into a struggle around 5:00 a.m. in guest room where Labella allegedly pushed Lindsay onto a bed, then she suffered scratches and he tried to choke her before they went out to a stairway.

NYPD was called to the scene and questioned Lindsay who is fully cooperating.  She did sustain some injuries, but there was no need to go to a local hospital.  Christian Labella was taken into police custody charged with two counts of misdemeanor assault and two counts of harassment.  Labella who has a Facebook page is no stranger to celebrities showing photos of him with Kim Kardashian.

Police have dropped assault and harassment charges against Christian Labella as there was not enough evidence of Lindsay’s claim he choked her.  Now Labella and Lohan have filed harassment charges against each other.  Lindsay is still serving unsupervised probation for shoplifting conviction.  She moved to New York this past summer after many late-night Los Angeles controversies.

ENTERTAINMENT RELATION

Television talk host Chelsea Lately’s’ aunt Heather McDonald spoke out about alleged assault by her nephew, Christian Labella (a congressional aide) who was stunned by allegations that he was accused of being Lindsay’s attacker.  Auntie Heather was happy to hear that police officially dropped all charges against Christian.

LINDSAY AND MOMMY FIGHTING

Around 4:00 a.m. Dina Lohan and daughter Lindsay jump into a limo leaving a Manhattan nightclub heading to Long Island.  It was Wednesday, October 10th when the two were reportedly physically fighting over money.  It seems the fight was all about a $40,000 loan the actress gave to her mommy to save her Merrick, Long Island home from foreclosure.  This was where Lindsay spent her childhood years.  49-year-old Dina Lohan still lives there with her other children.  Lindsay phoned her daddy Michael Lohan from limo and he decides to record the conversation while his daughter was crying and screaming hysterically.  She’s on “cocaine” daddy, and I told mommy to return my money.  Now she’s saying horrible disgusting things to me and yelling I’m nutty.  Michael Lohan was under the impression that his daughter was held against her will.  Then Lindsay tells her dad she has a gash on her leg from what happened, but this was not reported to the Nassau County police who Michael Lohan sent audio recording.  Later that day Lindsay hopped a plane to LA.

MOMMY MY “BFF” – I’M DONE WITH DADDY

I lied to my daddy about mommy on “cocaine” and turning to him was a big mistake and now I’m through with my father forever.  Daughters have fights all the time with their mothers.  So it’s kiss and make up – all the good stuff!  Now Dina wants Lindsay to get a protective order against her father, but so far the “Liz & Dick” star isn’t taking it seriously.

DINA’S HEFTY DEBT MESS

It seems Lindsay’s 50-year-old mom has some weighty issues.  Over an 11-year period there are four judgments against her, plus she owes $349,000 in liens and $194,000 in mortgage loans.  This mess adds up to $1.3 million in debt.

LINDSAY EXPECTING NEW BABY BROTHER OR SISTER

Lindsay’s dad Michael and his 29-year-old fiancee’ Kate Major are expecting a baby.  Major was previously dating actor Jon Gosselin of reality TV series “Kate Plus 8.”  Lindsay not singing the blues over shocking news.

DAD WANTS LINDSAY IN REHAB

Dizzy “Liz & Dick” star is out of control all night partying.  Her parents continue to battle which obviously affects Lindsay and the other children caught in the middle of this chaos.  Michael does not want his daughter’s money, but no judge is going to sign off on a conservatorship as Lindsay is not suffering from any mental illness.  Her management team agree.

LILO’S NEW BEAU

LiLo has a new beau 25-year-old LA fitness trainer Josh Chunn a former University of Louisiana Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns cheerleader and nursing student.  Chunn disagrees with Lindsay’s dad that she needs rehab.  How do you help Lindaay focus with all the bad stuff surrounding her by a bunch of f**kups.  He loves the outdoors and is trying to help Lindsay change gears by getting her into hiking and fishing.  While Chunn was at Lindsay’s Beverly Hills home her father arrived with two men, one identified himself as a policeman.  They tried to use their authority and stage an intervention.  I know he’s out to help her, but Chunn made it clear Lindsay is a strong girl who is cleaning her act up and just wants to say, ” I want her to be okay, I want us to be okay.”

LINDSAY CANCELS “20/20″ INTERVIEW

Dipsy Lindsay cancels November 16th “20/20″ interview ’cause she didn’t like the way Barbara Walters was handling it.  Impersonator Elizabeth Taylor’s new reps “Rogers and Rowan” are advising her since ” ex-publicist” Steve Honig quit!  Sassy Lindsay could be facing time in the pokey since allegedly lying to police about her June car crash.

LILO ON JAY LENO SHOW

Lilo on Jay Leno Tonight Show promoting Lifetime’s “Liz & Dick” which will be airing Sunday, November 25th at 9/8c after canceling Barbara Walters 20/20 interview.  She chats with Jay about her dad Michael who had an illegitimate daughter while married to her mother Dina.  Lilo’s advice to her new half sister:  “Good luck with my dad” – She sure has a good sense of humor.

LINDSAY SETTLES LAWSUIT WITH LIMO COMPANY

26-year-old troubled Lindsay finally settles out of court lawsuit by writing a check in the amount of $100,000 to Elite Transportation Limo Company who sued her for over $90,000.

LILO LOVES TO PLAY WITH GMA AND TODAY

Lilo lied on Good Morning America about knowing her secret half sister.  The actress’ new “PR” team Rogers and Cowan asked GMA Executive Producers not to question her about any upcoming criminal issues.  The interview was only supposed to be about Lifetime’s “Liz & Dick movie, but when Lindsay sat down and chatted with GMA’s Amy Robach the topic came up about her infamous dad Michael Lohan who had recently been given DNA proof that he fathered a child now 17 years old out of wedlock with a former mistress.  Lindsay looked surprised and replied to the interviewer “I never heard that – so thanks for the news” but that’s not true ’cause Today show already knew.  The war begins as GMA blames competitor Today for leaking the news about Lindsay’s half-sister.

LINDSAY MAYBE ADOPTING

It’s nobody’s bizness, but rumors have been swirling that Lindsay is thinking of adopting a baby boy.  What joy to become a mommy.  After I win an Oscar the actress says she can think about love and adopting a son.  I want directors and producers to get past the misconception that I’m not reliable and believe in me again.

LIZ & DICK CRITICS

Lindsay is just sick over harsh criticism of her Lifetime movie “Liz & Dick” which accuses the actress of all types of facial expressions like an SNL skit.  The only one that doesn’t agree is her father, Michael Lohan who puts his daughter’s performance in line with Meryl Streep.  Could she win an “Oscar” trophy is still debatable.  The ratings were low for only 3.5 million viewers watched the show.

LUCKY LINDSAY

Charlie MaSheen decides to contribute toward Lindsay’s cause by giving her a check for $100,000 for huge tax debt of $233,904 she owes Uncle Sam in back taxes.  Could we consider this an early Christmas gift?  Dear Lindsay made a barrel of money last year somewhere near $2 million. Anger Management actor and Lindsay who are both starring in a “Scary Movie” doesn’t frighten Charlie as he doesn’t need the money.

TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

What’s the bit on Lohan and Deejay Samantha Ronson toxic relationship?  It’s better not to be together.   We’re just friends now and that’s how it’s going to end.

“MEAN STREET GIRL” NIGHTCLUBBING IN CHELSEA

On Thursday, November 29th in wee hours of the morning when most of us are just getting up and yawning, “Mean Street Girl” Lindsay was arrested and landed in pokey on third-degree assault at “Avenue” a Manhattan Chelsea nightclub after allegedly cursing with a racial slur “f**king gypsy” and punching this woman, a 26-year-old Florida psychic named Tiffany Mitchell in her face.  Then Tiffany’s friend told “Liz & Dick” star she sucked and that’s when all hell broke loose.  Eyewitnesses say Lindsay was boozing on Grey Goose and sniffing cocaine!!  Lindsay told New York Police she confronted the woman after $10,000 from her purse went missing and that’s when she called her a “gypsy,” but did not punch fortune-telling Tiffany.  Lind definitely needs a good friend.  Pissed Tiff has met with Celebrity Attorney Gloria Allred.  Lohan’s publicist had no comment.  Charges will be dropped says Mark Heller Lilo’s lawyer especially when he gets plenty of moolah!!!!  Manhattan District Attorney holding off on pressing charges against Lindsay.  Monday, January 7, 2013 is the first scheduled court hearing on the alleged assault, but there’s no requirement for “Mean Street Girl” to attend.

LINDSAY BANNED FROM CBS AFFILIATE’S ENTERTAINMENT

Washington news director is just sick of Lindsay’s shit and thinking of banning all her stories on Twitter asking followers’ opinion.  They quickly responded protesting posters in full agreement.  Director Fred D’Ambrosi replied “OK due to popular demand we just killed Lindsay Lohan story.  The people have spoken!”  How would you feel not hearing anything about Lindsay’s crazy catastrophes?

LINDSAY HIRES P.I.

Lindsay hires private investigator to get all the dirty crap on psychic Tiffany.  Lind is not admitting to assault charge, but says she did call Tiffany a “gypsy.”  These two cats intend to scratch at each other should the case go into a courtroom.  Is Lindsay willing to spend her “Liz & Dick” money on Tiffany?

LILO’S NEW “BAD” BOY TOY

Whatever makes Lilo happy for The Wanted’s bad boy is her new toy.  Flaming red headed beauty spent most of the week with her favorite band on their tour bus then went partying after New York Jingle Ball event with British Max “bad boy” George.  This time Lilo looked sober.  She better be since there’s a court date on her PCH car crash for Wednesday in LA.  Will Lindz win or is she heading to London?

MEAN LINDSAY RETURNS TO CLUB AVENUE

Mean Lindsay looking very pretty was spotted returning to Club’s alleged crime scene with lover Max who is now sharing her publicity.

LINDZ SHENANIGANS

Lindz not going to London with The Wanted!  The red-headed beauty hasn’t shown her face in LA courtroom today.  We think The Wanted is sick of Lindz’ publicity?  Max lover come back is not going to happen.  He’s off to London with The Wanted crew to finish their next album.  Now Lindsay can concentrate on her sentencing.

IT’S “12/12/12″ HELL

It seems Lindsay did not show up for her arraignment court hearing so the Honorable Commissioner Jane Geofrey revoked her jewelry heist probation.  A violation of probation hearing is set for January 15, 2013 which Lindsay may be required to attend when judge could decide her fate that she violated and could face eight months in prison.   Dipsy Lindsay what were you thinking????  You could be heading for the pokey!

LINDSAY REFUSED TO PUCKER UP IN SCARY MOVIE

Lindsay refused to pucker up to Charlie on the set of “Scary Movie.”  Well that’s no way to thank Charlie for helping you pay your tax bill.

MEAN GIRL FURIOUS WITH SCARY MOVIE PRODUCERS

Lilo angry at Scary V Movie producers about her trailer.  She doesn’t find it very funny producers included a joke about her probation being revoked.

LINDZ IN LONDONTOWN TO SEE THE WANTED

Animal activists should be attacking Lindsay in her furry attire.  She got off a plane and checked into the swanky Dorchester Hotel with Mommy Dina, spotted shopping at the expensive Harrods Department Store and dining at Cipriani, but guess what Max George who she adores is going to be part of America’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.  Lindz too bad you’re on wrong side of the pond looking for Don Juan.  The “Mean Girl” says she’s gonna be a “Good Girl” by not partying intending to wipe her slate clean in 2013.

LILO PARTYING WITH ROYAL HIGHNESS

So Lilo flew into London to party with his Royal Highness Prince Haji Azim of Brunei!  He reportedly paid Lilo $100,000 to ring in “2013.”  Now we thought Lilo was going to be a “Good Girl” and not party, but seems she needs the money especially for tax man Uncle Sam.  Well the Prince not only paid her fare, the room at swanky Dorchester plus shopping spree at Harrod’s with mommy.  Michael Lohan says “Beggars can’t be choosy” – Lindsay now getting paid for dating!

LINDSAY’S MILLION DOLLAR BEDROOM

Liz & Dick star invited decorator Kathryn Ireland to her new “Gone with the Wind” Hollywood Hills rental for a consultation and makeover.  Lilo takes Ireland upstairs to her bedroom lined with designer handbag tags.  Lindsay tells Ireland that she wants the room to look like a luxurious five-star hotel referring to Plaza Athenee.  Ireland reveals a budget of $250,000.  Wow!!!!!  Lindsay’s “Million Dollar Decorator” episode airs Jan. 1st at 10 PM on Bravo.

MAMA DINA & MICHAEL NASTY LEGAL BATTLE

Dina says Lindsay is messed up because Michael is a “f**k up!  So now Michael and his attorney is threatening to take Mama Dina to the cleaners for her “false” accusations of abuse and rape, but Dina doesn’t have any money.  Michael claims Dina is harassing him with voicemail and phone messages.  This family desperately needs powerful therapy.

DIRECTOR COMPLAINING ABOUT HURRICANE LINDSAY

Lindsay’s boozing partying with Lady Gaga, consistent lateness on set of “The Canyons” and blatant arrogance against Director Paul Schrader who fired her.  Lucky for Lindsay another actress did not cut it for a screen test so distressed Lilo was back on the set.  Before filming a nude sex scene Lilo refused to strip naked so Director Schrader stripped in front of Lindsay for her to agree to shoot the scene.  With all this going on her fellow actors and director were impressed with Lilo’s acting!

DIZZY LIZZY PLEADS NOT GUILTY

On Tuesday, January 15, 2013 26-year-old actress through her attorney Shawn Holley pleaded not guilty to three misdemeanor charges at an arraignment hearing over allegedly lying to police while driving recklessly in a June, 2012 traffic accident from a crash on the Pacific Coast Highway.  Police suspect Lindsay was behind the wheel when her Porsche struck a truck.  Lindsay who did not attend the hearing reportedly fired Attorney Holley and assigned New York attorney Mark Heller to represent her.  Attorney Holley told the judge she still represents Lindsay.  The judge has set January 30th as a pre-trial date and trial is scheduled February 27th on the misdemeanor which Lindsay is expected to appear in court.

“DWTS” NOT LINDSAY’S CUP OF TEA

Dancing with the Stars offers Lindsay $500,000, but she’s not interested in reality TV.  The lady is just too busy acting.  Maybe Dancing with the Stars should up the ante.

FLU BLUES!

Mz. Lindzy has another mandated LA court date on Pacific Coast Highway reckless driving case, but claims she’s too ill to travel.  The actress has seen a NYC Park Avenue doctor and he diagnosed Lilo with an upper respiratory infection.  Doctor insists flying across the country would be detrimental.  We’re sure Judge Saunter will want to see a doctor’s note even if it’s just the sniffles!  Mark Heller her new legal representative who’s no judge charmer insists Lilo a sweet kitten is bedridden, but wasn’t she gallivanting over the weekend shopping and partying?  Loyal lawyer Shawn Holley is obviously out of the picture after being fired.  It’s never too late to change your mind as Lindzy with her mommy Dina land in LA in wee hours of the morning for Wednesday, January 30th court date.  Unfortunately they have nowhere to stay as two hotels refused accommodations.  They tried the beachfront Shutters Hotel, but they were denied.  It shouldn’t be much of a surprise as Lindz has been blacklisted for trashing one of the hotel rooms back in 2007 with ex-boyfriend Riley Giles who she met at a posh Utah Cirque Lodge rehab clinic.  Then they drove up the road to the Loews Hotel, but due to lack of rooms who knows what the two will do.  If we could only take a nap in the sack!

Fashionable Lindz in Christian Louboutin shoes with mommy Dina and new attorney Mark Heller show up in LA court facing former NYPD Detective Judge Stephanie Sautner.  “Mean Street Girl” is still under probation for jewelry theft and if the judge finds that she screwed up Lindz would be back in the pokey!  After some bickering between Judge Sautner and Attorney Heller over whether a cold or the flu was the same thing, judge laid down the law to Lindsay.  If Lindsay is found not guilty in lying case, the probation in jewelry-theft case could still be violated since standard of proof is lower.  Judge Sautner then ordered all parties to appear for another hearing on Friday, March 1st at 9:00 a.m. deadline to file pre-trial motions with Lindsay appearing through counsel, but Lindsay says she will be there.  The next court date is Monday, March 18th for “Mean Lindsay” but now we hear Judge Sautner is retiring.

LINDSAY WELCOMES NEW ADDITION TO THE FAMILY

Lindsay’s daddy Michael and girlfriend Kate Major welcome baby boy, Landon Major Lohan in Florida.  Their new bundle of joy weighs 7 pounds, 5 ounces and is almost 20 inches long arriving Wednesday afternoon as Lindsay left LA courtroom.

LILO’S MYSTERIOUS NEW TATTOO

On Lilo’s inner right arm she got inked with a red triangle tattoo just like the hazard symbol on your automobile.  So what does it mean?  We’ll probably have to keep on guessing.

LINDSAY SUING LA CLOTHING COMPANY

Lindsay’s Beverly Hills attorney Perry C. Wander is seeking more than $1 million in a Federal Court lawsuit as clothing company violated Federal Trademark Law and contract agreements behind his client’s designer brand “6126 Collection” for guaranteed royalties, licensing and another $200,000 from sales revenues which were not received.  “6126 LLC” owns the trademark to “6126 Collection” and drew the name from Marilyn Monroe birthdate June 1, 1926.  Attorney said “Lohan admires and has always been greatly influenced” by Monroe.

NUDE IN MUSE

So inappropriate Lindsay in the nude posing for Muse magazine having sex with male model caressing one of her boobs.  How to be naughty seems to suit Lindsay.

CHARLIE TO THE RESCUE

Charlie Sheen continues to help struggling Lindsay.  First he gave her $100,000 for back taxes and now Charlie is going half-way to pay “Scary Movie 5″ co-star purchase a gown from celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch so financially strapped actress can attend Fashion Week in New York at “Cipriani Wall Street” gala red carpet event.

THE BRITS “LIZ & DICK”

BBC has announced a production of the flick “Liz & Dick starring Helena Bodham Carter as Liz and Dominic West as Burton.  This movie tells the epic love story about a man and woman (Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton) twice-married, twice-divorced 1983 revival of Noel Coward’s “Private Lives.”

LINDSAY DESIGNER DRESS DESTROYER

Lindsay returns borrowed $1,750 Theia gown by celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch after getting the money from “good time” Charlie.  She accidentally ripped the dress while attending a nightclub fundraiser event on February 6th in NYC.  All it took was a pair of cutting shears to make a mess out of the dress.  Something borrowed, something new got screwed up by Lindsay’s crew.

DADDY MAD OVER HIS DAUGHTER CALLED “PSYCHOTIC”

Lindsay’s daddy Michael is super mad that his daughter was called “psychotic” by her ex-lesbian lover Samantha Ronson’s mother, Ann Dexter-Jones who married “The Foreigner.”  Guess an American wasn’t good enough for her.  Maybe it’s time these parents draw the line.  Stop trying to cash in on their celebrity children and start thinking about their well-being.

LILO POOR LOSER VS. PITBULL WINNER!

Lindsay “Give Me Everything” gets nothing.  According to the judge who dismissed her lawsuit against hip-hop star Pitbull on Thursday, February 21st said Lohan claimed the lyrics in 2011 song was a violation of her publicity and publicity rights which caused the actress emotional distress.  Judge based ruling on a provision of New York Civil Rights law that it does not apply to works of art and First Amendment affords full protection.

MEAN STREET GIRL GETS THERAPY FROM CHARLIE

Is it just therapy or is “Mean Street Girl” paying back the money she owes Charlie guest-starring on “Anger Management?”  This time instead of being in bed with Charlie, Lindsay gets couch massage therapy.

POSSIBILITY OF PLEA FOR LINDSAY

Lindsay’s attorney returns to court on Friday, March 1st for a hearing on “2012″ Pacific Coast Highway reckless driving car crash and lying to police while case is set for March 18th trial the judge won’t postpone.  Lucky for Lindsay she did not have to attend this hearing.  There are discussions on a possible plea deal between her new attorney Mark Heller and prosecutors.  Attorney wants to delay the case so Lindsay can perform community service and pursue psychotherapy.  Lindsay was on probation when car accident happened and faces jail time if judge determines she violated her “2011″ jewelry theft case conditions.

LYING LINDSAY NOT AGREEING TO PLEA BARGAINING

Actress’ attorney Mark Heller is working out a plea deal with prosecutors for Lindsay to serve 90 days on house arrest which doesn’t seem to please her.  Nobody is gonna punish me for violating my probation or lying to authorities.  Screw you!

CHARLIE MENTORING LINDSAY?

Charlie Sheen thinks so as he’s been down the same road.  47-year-old actor says me and Lindsay have experienced legal troubles, substance abuse and pokey time on a journey down the road to recovery.  Sheen has helped Lindsay with a shredded dress, tax money after they filmed “Scary Movie 5″ and she’s now starring in an upcoming episode of “Anger Management.”

SPARKLING LATE FOR COURT DATE

Here comes Princess Lindsay all dressed in pink and white only 48 minutes late for her lying-to-cops and probation-violation court date when someone threw a bunch of glitter.  Startled by all that sparkle Lindz and her New York Heller of a lawyer attempted to enter the courthouse doors.  We’re sure judge was not amused by tardiness of the accused entering the courtroom when he issued a bench warrant.  Lindsay had to hop a private plane from New York City to LAX because she missed her flight, was paid for by “Mr. Pink Energy Drink” in $50,000 smackeroos!  Lindsay could be facing months in the pokey if L.A. attorney asks for maximum sentence on her “jewelry theft” probation violation.

LINDSAY GETS AWAY WITH 90 DAYS

Judge tells “Mean Street Girl” as part of her plea deal she’ll be spending 90 days in State of California lockdown (no in-or-out privileges) rehab facility for Pacific Highway June, 2012 car crash and there will be no driving during sentencing.  As the somber face actress was seated in courtroom judge told her she’ll also be sentenced to 30 days community labor which might be done in New York, 18 months psychological therapy, drug testing, including $240 restitution fine and $30 criminal conviction fee in addition to paying restitution to victim.

Lindsay was facing up to eight months in the pokey, but agreed to no contest for reckless driving and lying to authorities when she claimed it was her assistant turning car wheel of vehicle.  Judge agreed to stay her jewelry theft case sentence so long as actress keeps out of troubled waters.  This is my final order he told her.  If you violate any future probation violation it will put you behind bars with no more chances of avoiding jail time.  Who knows what this mean party girl is thinking or refuses to believe it’s really happening to me.

Lindsay’s alienated father Michael who attended court hearing with his attorney said he was extremely unhappy about daughter’s poor legal representation verbally attacking Mark Heller outside courthouse accusing him of cashing in on the situation.  Previously Michael secured a criminal law firm to represent his daughter, but she only wanted Heller.

Lohan’s New York lawyer is under investigation by Santa Monica police for witness tampering.  Mark Heller is suspected of asking Lindsay’s personal assistant who was in the Porsche with her during car crash last June, to lie in his testimony saying he had control when it crashed into a dump truck.

REDHEADED DRAMA QUEEN REHAB PLAN

Lindsay firey-haired drama queen hasn’t made a decision where she’ll do her rehab treatment.  She’s got 45 days left to make up her mind on which facility.  Nothing better to do then go on a shopping spree with a friend driving her Porsche in search for new rehab vintage digs.  Next thing to do is the skit as Charlie Sheen’s patient and lover on “Anger Management.”  Then Lindz is thinking of taking a trip to chill out in Brazil!

THE AVENUE FIGHT NIGHT

Manhattan District Attorney drops nightclub charges against Lindsay over fortune teller’s alleged claim that actress punched her last November.  Hopefully this has cleared the way for Lindsay’s sober days.  Another claim against Lindsay by a Chelsea pedestrian being clipped with her automobile turned out to be false after viewing sidewalk video.

LINDSAY DRINKING AND KISSING

Little Mz. Lizzy caught smooching and of all things drinking with new beau Avi Snow during his fun City of Sun gig at a Santa Monica trendy nightclub.  While dizzy Lizzy wanted to satisfy her taste buds we thought it was a bottle of Grey Goose, but turns out she ordered sparkling water.

TARDY LINDSAY

Arriving several hours late for shooting of “Anger Management” is not a good thing, but as soon Ms. Lindsay came on the set with a sexy cheerleader ensemble Charlie soon forgot about her tardiness.

LILO’S TWIN RED TATTOOS!

Actress had images of twin red triangles representing dangers and hazards with a Shakesperean quotation “What Dreams May Come” inked with her close friend Liam McMullan in a private spiritual ceremony at Dina Lohan’s home.  Lilo due to report for rehab, showed off her new tattoo in court back in January.  Meanwhile McMullan’s ex-fiancee’ is accusing Lohan of being a “homewrecker.”

LINDSAY PARTIES WHILE ENDORSING CLOTHING COMPANY

Dizzy Lizzy parties in Brazil before going to rehab facility.  She’s in Sao Paulo, Brazil after receiving $100,000 to endorse “John John” designer clothing company.  Lindsay was spotted at a Brazilian nightclub sprawled on the floor.  She probably needed a snooze after all that booze.  Still stubbornly insisting she doesn’t have a drinking problem.  We are certainly hopeful Lindsay will do some amazing acting on Anger Management episode.

LINDSAY OFF HER ROCKER

Troubling Lindsay and her rocker guitarist beau Avi Snow decided it’s time to split after a short romantic encounter.  The 26-year-old who returned from South America will be appearing on David Letterman Show.  Then starting May 2nd she’ll toe the line on that 90-day rehab sentence at Seafield Center in Westhampton Beach where there’s 24-hour security.  Although Lindsay is insisting, she will not be allowed to take her Adderall pills.

GRILLING LINDSAY

Lindsay sat down for a chat with Letterman to promote opening of her “Scary 5″ movie cameo instead David came on like a sergeant grilling the actress like Dr. Phil.  This was not discussed in the pre-interview said testy Lindsay, but tells Letterman her court-ordered “rehab stint is a blessing.”  It’s the “sixth” rehab stint for troubled actress and we hope her last trip.

LINDZ HITS ON LETTERMAN’S EX-ASSISTANT

At a post-Letterman NYC Chelsea club party dipsy gurl goes crazy over Gavin Doyle.  Late night talk show host’s ex-assistant comes over to Lindsay’s table and she starts throwing plastic bottles at him which some eyewitnesses say never happened.  Well Lindsay doesn’t need any more complications now that she’s heading to a rehab facility.  So far the two say they are “BFF’s and in constant communication.”  Well Lindz is bringing her new fella to musical festival “Coachella!”

LINDSAY’S TUSHY

Lindsay pulls down her panties and shows off her tushy in Purple Magazine.  Hey boys this spread could go to your head.  There’s nothing like a piece of sexy ass.  Lindsay this is definitely not classy.

CHARLIE ADVISING LINDSAY

Charlie says rehab is not his thing.  He believes in detoxifying.  Bring a good book ’cause those places suck!  It’s gonna be rough.

CELEBRITIES WORDS OF WISDOM BEFORE REHAB PRISON

Lindsay gets a mouthful of powerful words from celebrities.  She definitely is going to need support from everybody.  Remember why you love me!

LINDSAY FACING FINES FROM NANNY

Apparently Lindsay never responded to a lawsuit and now she’s facing all kinds of penalties.  It all started back in 2010 when the actress ran a red light driving her Maserati into this woman pushing a baby in a stroller.  Now Lohan has a court date of May 8th to answer the charges, but she’ll be locked up for 90 days in a rehab facility.  Well we guess her new lawyer, Mark Heller will appear for Dear Lindsay.

LILO NOT PLEASED WITH TOM BROKAW’S COMMENTS

Lilo responds to Tom’s dumb comment that he will never attend the event when she ruined White House Correspondents’ Dinner after being invited by Fox Newscaster Greta Van Susteren as a guest last year.  Actress believes he’s completely out of line and bullying her by saying mean things about Lilo publicly.  Just to get the record straight she had such a great time last year and would happily attend if invited in the future.  Wow! You’re a meanie Tom Brokaw.

THIS KID NEEDS A CIG!

Seafield Center court-ordered rehab facility in New York doesn’t allow cigarette smoking so Lilo’s lawyers are trying to convince rehab team to make an exception for next lung cancer victim.  As she’s running out of time her army of lawyers are desperately looking for another facility in Newport Beach, California.  Why is cigs so important to her when Lilo should be thinking about not being locked up in the slammer.

Lilo didn’t check herself into Morningside Recovery in Newport Beach because a young guy patient has died from cardiac arrest after exercising while doing pushups at that facility.  Since Morningside wasn’t supposed to be treating patients with eating disorders the California Department of Alcohol and Drug Programs has revoked their license.  We’re definitely in for more Lilo drama!

There’s now an arrest warrant for Lindsay so she went and canned that Heller attorney and immediately re-hired Miz Shawn Chapman Holley who got her into The Betty Ford Clinic where she once received treatment.  Lindsay in a dither is signed, sealed and delivered!

DIPSY LINDSAY NOT HAPPY WITH BETTY

No adderall or smoking for Lindsay, she’s not happy with Betty Ford Clinic.  I wanna go to a rehab in Sunny Hawaii, Antigua or Florida.  Punishment for a crime and/or rehab treatment is usually not left up to the offender, but if you’re a celebrity there’s always a different set of rules where people bend over backwards to accommodate you.  35-year-old Brooke Mueller Charlie Sheen’s ex-wifey whose twins were removed from her care after authorities allegedly found them living in “miserable conditions” is staying in same hospital wing for drug abuse treatment with Mean Lindsay.  Lindsay wants desperately to leave rehab facility, but Mommy Dina says it’s the best thing.

GO TO POKEY LINDSAY!

Jonathan Bennett aka Aaron Samuels from “Mean Girls” shows off his Go to Pokey Lindsay tee-shirt while on a West Hollywood shopping spree.

LINDSAY TAKING REHAB SERIOUSLY

It seems things are finally turning around for Dipsy Lindsay as she’s finally becoming a model patient for rehab treatment.  She’s getting along with her roommates and attending one-on-one group counseling sessions.  Writing on her Twitter page, hey guys I’m okay!  This must also mean she’s coping with not smoking.

CANCELING FAMILY COUNSELING

Parents “no show” at Betty Ford Treatment Center leaves Lilo all by her lonesome.  Michael and Dina once again fighting is not helping Lindsay.  Well maybe she’ll get better quicker being away from her troubled mother and father.

MAMA DINA COULDN’T GET ANY MEANER!

Dina after getting a $50,000 paycheck for fighting with ex-hubby Michael Lohan on TV wants to hold on to her money.  As a matter of fact Dina skipped out on a Hampton donation expected for Ferrari charity last year according to restaurant lawyer who said she drank up $2,500 and $1,500 for underprivileged kids not paying the bill.  What a way to show good will.  Lawyer is suing Dina who thinks she’s privileged because of her daughter.  We should expect this since her past behavior.  The question is who’s more dippy, her or Lindsay?

MOVIN’ OUT OF BETTY FORD INTO BEAUTIFUL MALIBU

Looks like Lindsay can afford this as she moves out of Betty Ford Clinic into breathtaking beautiful Malibu Cliffside rehab facility with ocean view approved by the judge and prosecutors.  Since Betty’s treatment was only for 30-day program Lindsay gets to finish her required 90-day stay in beautiful Malibu!  There’s nothing like the smell of fresh air and an ocean breeze to please precious Lindsay.  Of course we just heard the mean street girl had some staff issues so she did the old switch-a-roo!

LINDSAY’S SEXY MYSTERY MAN

Sexual relations are against the rules of treatment, but who cares when you’re dating a famous rehab lady.  While the mystery man was eventually kicked out of rehab this twosome started dating immediately.  There’s nothing like getting screwed in Malibu!  Lindsay got needs and he was her sex machine.  If there is a next time for Lindsay, the judge should reconsider an all-girls facility.

LINDSAY CLOTHING CHANGES AND STILL SMOKING!

Troubled actress now at Cliffside Malibu Rehab Center has wardrobe issues seen changing four different times in one day and still lighting up those cigarettes.  Well maybe this helps her to get better.  Whatever it takes – never too late!

AFFLECK VISITING LINDSAY

Actor/Director Ben Affleck visits Lindsay on rehab set not for a role in his new movie, but offering her support and the right advice on how to maintain her sobriety in the entertainment industry.

AFTER REHAB PAD

After finishing rehab in August Lindsay has no plans to go to LA or NYC as she’s afraid of relapsing.  Instead she’s going into hiding far from the paparazzi.  Lindsay had fallen into some bad habits over the years, but finally came to terms with dropping prescribed drug Adderall.

LINDSAY MILLION-DOLLAR BABY

27-year-old “Mean Street Girl” negotiating millions (when she comes out of rehab in August) from 59-year-old Oprah Winfrey (OWN) network for an exclusive interview and eight-part reality series which took months in the making about her road to recovery which debuts in 2014.   Winfrey has agreed to pay Lindsay around $2 million in addition to providing two personal assistants and a stylist.  Lindsay only got $1 million from showing off her sexy body in Playboy Magazine.  Starlet’s Monster Mother said “Oprah will be a good mentor for my troubled daughter.”

FLY-BY-NIGHT – LIVE BY NIGHT!

Within hours of being released from her Malibu rehab pad the troubled actress must attend post-rehab court-ordered therapy sessions.  Miss Fly-by-Night Lindsay says she won’t be starring in Ben Affleck’s new movie “Live by Night.”  After finishing “The Canyons” 27-year-old is in no rush to jump into another project as she’s booked a one-way ticket for Europe vacation.

DEAREST DADDY

Blood relatives are thicker than water like her father.  Hence he’s a good influence!  Since Michael Lohan never made her blacklist, he still fits the bill of helpful!

LINDSAY’S INTERVIEW WITH WINFREY

Lohan sits down with Oprah and admits she’s addicted to trouble and alcohol.  The actress says rehab is a blessing.  She loves her parents who divorced in 2007 says nobody’s perfect and they do stand up for their daughter.  Lindsay wants to get her life back and stay on the right track.   Less than a million people tuned into the Oprah interview.

LINDSAY’S BELATED BIRTHDAY PARTY

Birthday girl steps out for her “27th” belated celebration party in skimpy black panties!  Lilo hits a high note after a 90-day rehab stint filming “Eastbound and Down” a documentary series.   She’s just relaunched her website where Miss Lindsay is giving fashion and fitness tips.

LINDZ NOT GOING TO VENICE FESTIVAL

Lindsay trying to take care of her health issues rather than going to Venice festival.  “The Canyons’ director agrees there should be no celebrations and drinking parties for Lindsay as she certainly doesn’t want to land in the clink.   The actress has got to get back on the right track.

LINDSAY CLUBBING AND DATING

What’s this Lindsay clubbing and dating in NYC!  Thought she was back on the right path.  Hasn’t she learned anything?  What in the world is this girl doing?

MAMA DINA ARRESTED FOR DRUNK DRIVING

Dina Lohan the 50-year-old drunken sailor was arrested Labor Day weekend while speeding on Long Island’s Northern State Parkway.  When cops stopped her they say her blood level was twice the limit.  Of course Dina didn’t admit to drinking just sipping!  The Chase Bank is foreclosing on Lohan’s Long Island home.

On Tuesday, September 24th in a chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce Dina Lohan with her attorney Mark Heller and only family member mother, Ann Sullivan appeared in a Hempstead, New York courtroom for drunken driving and speeding entering a plea of not guilty.  Following arraignment she was released without bail until her next October 23rd court appearance.  The judge suspended her driver’s license.

LINDSAY PARTYING HARD IN NYC

Mean Street Girl hanging out at her favorite karaoke bar in NYC’s East Village with several female friends and a male model at a table with a whole bottle of Jameson whiskey.  Although Lindsay was chain-smoking she was not drinking.   When it came closing time Lindsay and her friends were told to leave but they refused.  Lilo finally left and that’s when the staff found their private room full of empty bottles.  Someone drank the booze!

Lindsay’s  Sobriety Coach Doug Caine was nowhere in sight.  Sources say she gave him a pink slip back in LA.  We hope Lindz was a good gurl.  She doesn’t need anymore turmoil.

CASINO WANTS ITS HALLOWEEN PARTY MONEY

Foxwoods Casino paid Lindsay $50,000 for an appearance at their Halloween party.  She arrived late and now the casino wants some compensation from Scary Lindsay.

JUDGE ORDERS COMMUNITY SERVICE

Lindsay’s mommy Dina Lohan is not happy with judge’s order that she must do community service for DUI bust.

DINA NEEDS MICHAEL’S APPROVAL

In order to publish Dina’s “Tell-It-All” book she needs Michael Lohan’s approval.  Will he sign on the dotted line?

LINDSAY SUING GRAND THEFT AUTO COMPANY

Lindsay suing the maker of “Grand Theft Auto V” for using her likeness on their advertising.

LOHAN FUCKS UP BARRON!

Paris Hilton is mad as hell after some fella allegedly punched the crap out of her brother Barron which Lilo requested.  Ms. Hilton is on the war path and she means business.

HOOKED ON TELL-IT-ALL BOOK

Lilo is hooked on a new tell-it-all book about her time in rehab pad.  She met in New York City with literary agency Waxman Leavall to discuss her upcoming project.

LILO’S NAKED PHOTOS

Lindsay upset that naked photos stolen from her computer while she was at a China airport could be part of an extortion plot by thieves demanding money.

LINDSAY’S NEW MOVIE

Lindsay was at the 2014 Sundance Film Festival for her new movie “Inconceivable” a psychological thriller.  Producer of the film says Lindsay is an extremely talented actor.

WHY I OWNLY LOVE ME!

Oprah Winfrey announces starting March 9th Sundays at 10 p.m. Lindsay after accepting $2 million will star in Own’s reality series attempting to rebuild her life and new movie career.  Ownly Lindsay can maintain her sobriety.

DINA PLEADED GUILTY TO AGGRAVATED DUI AND SPEEDING

On Tuesday, April 15, 2014 in a Long Island courtroom Dina Lohan beside her attorney pleaded guilty to aggravated DUI and speeding in connection with a 2013 traffic stop in lieu of not landing in the pokey.  Mother of the troubled-actress will lose her driver’s license for one year and the car will be outfitted with an ignition interlock so Dina won’t be able to drive it if she’s all boozed up.  In addition she was ordered to pay $2,600 in fees, complete 100 hours of community service and attend a drunk driving program.

LINDSAY SECRETLY MISCARRIED?

While filming her ownly documentary series Lindsay says she secretly miscarried.  Was this her excuse for “Lindsay Come Lately?”

TONGUE KISSING

Actor James Franco admits he tongue kissed Lindsay when she was seventeen.  What does Lindsay say about this?  Did she like it!

GOOD RIDDANCE MS. LINDSAY!

Gal pal Samantha Ronson says since she ditched Lindsay she’s happy and healthy.

“MEAN GIRLS” TEEN MOVIE ANNIVERSARY

April 30, 2014 marks the tenth anniversary of “Mean Girls” teen flick movie starring Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Seyfried, Rachel McAdams and Lacey Chabert is a classic.

MOLLY AND ECSTASY

There’s no sobriety for Lindsay.  She’s still partying and trying to hide her drugging on “Molly and Ecstasy.”  The name of Lindsay’s game is refusing to change.

LINDSAY BOUND FOR LONDONTOWN?

Lindsay moved from LA to New York hoping to get family support.  Now she’s thinking of moving to London to recreate herself as an actress and start a new life wiping the slate clean from addiction and drinking.

LOHAN STAGE DEBUT IN LONDON

The 27-year-old Lindsay will make her stage debut in London come this September starring as an ambitious secretary in David Mamet’s satire drama “Speed-the-Plow” a role was played by charming Madonna.

LILO SUING GRAND THEFT AUTO

Lilo’s attorneys suing Rockstar game maker “Grand Theft Auto V”  for using a look alike blonde “Mean Girl” image to promote their business.

LOHAN WILL NOT MISS ANY LONDON SHOWS

Promises, promises Lilo says she will not miss one London show.  The rest of the cast does not want to wait if she walks in late.

LINDSAY’S COMEBACK ACTING AWARD

Wow!  Lindsay received an acting award at the annual Global Film and Music Festival in Italy for her recognition role in West End production of Speed-the-Plow.  Of course Lindsay was as happy as can be thanking and blessing everybody.

BIKINI LINDSAY

Lindsay spotted kissing a mystery man while she was wearing a blue bikini on a yacht in Italy.

MICHAEL LOHAN PROBE

Investigation into Michael Lohan allegedly threatening record label exec.

PLEASE DON’T REJECT ME!

Lohan’s embarrassment in The Hamptons when her $2,500 credit card purchase was rejected.  Her party friends came to the rescue.  Thank goodness someone paid the bill.

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© Copyright 2011 – 2014

Lyrics created by (Francke) the Yankee

All Rights Reserved

Stay tuned for the latest dipsy news

Posted by sheila on July 5, 2010 under Celebrity Crimes in Rhyme, Dipsy Lindsay "Mean Street Girl" | Be the First to Comment

Mel “Mad Max” from Hell Gibson/Max Comeback (Celebrity Crimes in Rhyme)

MEL “MAD MAX” FROM HELL

Should celebrities get away with what they do or say?  Can 54-year-old Mel Gibson recover from the alleged domestic violent attack on his girlfriend and jealous rage against actor, Timothy Dalton on a tape recorded to his sexy ex, Oksana Grigorieva who was previously married to Bond’s “007″ Dalton?  They have one 12-year-old son.  While the feud continues between Mel and ex-girlfriend Oksana, Timothy Dalton is giving support to his son’s mama.

Russian singer-songwriter Oksana has a big fight on her hands for she recorded a CD “Beautiful Heartache” in which Mel Gibson co-wrote and holds some of the publishing rights.  He is also an executive producer and owner of Icon Records Company.

We heard the alleged tapes, but are they real or fake?  Now Mel’s attorneys are not denying that it’s his voice, but have given no statement on his abusive comments.

Let’s get back to the “Mad Max” verbal attack on Jews, Latinos and Blacks.  Mel Gibson apologized to a Malibu, California Jewish police officer, but has the public really forgiven the “DUI” racist guy?  Then Mel felt he was humiliated and came out swinging with insulting threatening remarks to a well-known Jewish Hollywood person who might have been in the motion picture business that he allegedly wanted to disfigure.

JEWISH DEPUTY SUES SHERIFF OF LA COUNTY

James Mee, a 55-year-old Jewish deputy who arrested “Mad Mel” on suspicion of drunk driving in 2006 is claiming humiliation and being ignored for promotion by refusing to remove Gibson’s anti-Semitic remarks from arrest report is suing the Sheriff’s Department of LA County.

Mel is allegedly accused of hitting his Russian born ex-girlfriend, 40-year-old Oksana Grigorieva and their child, Lucia.  The rage and violent dirty words threatening Oksana are caught on tape.  Mel Gibson’s reputation is at stake.

MEL’S OUTRAGEOUS BEHAVIOR

At the beginning of 2010, Oksana first reported Mel’s abusiveness and drinking rage to Los Angeles authorities when her son saw him with a gun punching his mother in the face leaving her black and blue while damaging some upper teeth.  She has a photo showing daughter Lucia with a bruise on her face.  There’s no way Mel Gibson can erase the bitter disgrace.  Mel claims Oksana was cheating, but no woman deserves a beating.

The Department of Children and Family Services have intervened over charges of child abuse as Mel Gibson and his ex-girlfriend are battling over custody of their 9-month-old baby.

There is an ongoing investigation into the actor’s claims of Oksana’s tape extortion.  Oksana’s meal ticket was supposed to be a $15 million deal from Mel Gibson in child support, a house and other assets if she agreed to keep the disgraceful tapes secret.  Nothing has been signed on the dotted line.

Mel sends sex text messages to Oksana apologizing and asking her forgiveness while he’s still trying to deal with his bitterness.

Now another ex-girlfriend named Violet Kowal, a Polish porn star who had an intimate relationship with Mel Gibson claims he was abusive.  They allegedly had an affair when Oksana was pregnant with Mel’s baby.  Kowal has recorded messages from Gibson ranting and screaming on numerous occasions from his home and cell phone.  The alleged ex-mistress has hired the well-known attorney, Gloria Allred.

The actor and his ex-girlfriend, Oksana, the mother of his daughter, both have restraining orders.

Badass Mel Gibson needs therapy and anger management classes.  Celebrity Rehab 4 would like to invite Gibson, but who knows if “Mad Mel” would sign up for the show.

WAR OF THE ROSES OVER?

War of the Roses might be over for Oksana as she is running out of money to pay her attorneys.  The court ordered Gibson to pay $250,000 in legal fees.  Mel has been paying $5,000 in monthly child support plus living expenses, but it’s not enough for Oksana wants more.  The custody battle continues.  Oksana’s attorneys may subpoena Mel’s ex-wife, Robyn based upon allegations of his abusiveness to her and the kids.

Gibson missed a court deposition as he’s been out of town on a fishing expedition.  Now that Mel is back he got into some stupid car crash in Malibu.  The cops were called to the scene and claim Gibson was not on drugs or drinking, but he could have dozed off at the wheel losing control of his 2008 Maserati that slammed into a rocky hill.  Mel has been nothing but a jerk lately, but thank God he wasn’t hurt.

OKSANA UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR EXTORTION

Oksana went to the LA District Attorney’s office stating that Mel Gibson after allegedly striking her pulled out a gun and threatened to kill himself, her and the baby as he was ranting and screaming.  These threatening charges never came up during the mediation meeting.  Prosecutors have finished their investigation into domestic violence charges against Mel Gibson.  Oksana is still under criminal investigation for extortion.

On May 16, 2010 at a mediation meeting Mel Gibson agreed to pay Oksana $15 million promising him she would destroy all evidence which was agreed to by both parties such as recordings, emails, videos, photographs of Mel, text messages, including the “bait” secret tapes.  There are strict confidentiality conditions with financial penalties for not complying.  When it came to signing the longer version Oksana refused claiming she had no idea Mel had unsupervised contact with their baby.  She signed the document which gives Mel Gibson “50/50″ physical custody of baby Lucia with no restrictions.  The document provides substantially for the baby.

LATEST DIRT ON MEL’S MALIBU CHURCH

The latest dirt on a foundation and Mel’s Malibu church.  Mel Gibson, his soon-to-be ex-wife, Robyn and a foundation were hit with a lawsuit by a construction company claiming the defendants allegedly owe money on three residential properties near Mel’s church which is probably worth quite a bit.  The suit asks for money or they will be foreclosing.

SCREWED BY “HANGOVER 2″ SEQUEL

More bad news as “Hangover” actors scrap “Mad Max” for Liam Neeson to make a cameo appearance as a tattoo artist in the “Hangover 2″ sequel.

MEL SEEKS TAX RELIEF

Mel donates a big chunk of money giving $9.6 million to his own church.  Shows you just how much this guy is worth.

NO WOMAN SHOULD TAKE “MAD MAX” CRAP

There’s now a probe into who stole the sealed court files and probably paid a “pretty penny” while Mel finally admits he slapped not hit Mama Oksana for shaking Lucia, their baby.

MEL WANTS SOLE CUSTODY OF THE BABY

Mel’s attorneys fight for Oksana to wear a monitor with no overnight visitation rights.  Oksana trashed Mel on Larry King tonight.  She snubbed warnings from the judge that if she talked to the media Mama Oksana could lose custody of the baby.

MEL IS BACK FROM HELL

Mel is starring in a new down-to-earth movie “The Beaver” coming out in the spring of 2011.  He was once a successful toy exec and family man who perhaps wrecked his life and is now suffering from depression.  This role should fit Mel to a “T” considering the ongoing Oksana controversy.  This is Jodie Foster’s “3rd” movie as a film director.  She just adores Mel as a friend and an actor.

GIBSON UNDER INVESTIGATION

Mel Gibson is still under investigation by the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office for domestic violence allegations.

MEL SLAPPED WITH MM FROM SPOUSAL ATTACK

On Friday, March 11, 2011 Mel Gibson got a lickin’ from ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva as he copped a plea to misdemeanor spousal battery.  “Mad Max” for his “2010″ attack on Oksana is now on 36 months’ informal probation and must attend 52 weeks of court ordered domestic-violence counseling.  All’s well that ends well for Oksana’s protective court order gives her the right to record their phone calls.  In addition to probation and domestic violence counseling, Mel opted to complete his 16 hours of community service at “Mending Kids International” a charity run by his ex-wife Robyn.  The organization provides surgical care around the world for children.  Mel Gibson flew to Guatemala to visit the hospitalized children, posed for pictures and put on a juggling show.

GRANDPA MEL FEELS SWELL

This is the “3rd” time around for Grandpa Mel who fell head over heels with joy for the new baby boy.

GIBSON QUITTING ACTING

He ain’t necessarily swell, but certainly fits into the “Mad Max from Hell” was named after Mel an “Irish” Saint.  Gibson’s description of fame, legal battles, “edited” leaked tapes, anti-Semitic remarks, DUI arrest, allegations of domestic abuse and a bout with depression.  What has Gibson learned from all of this?  His new comeback picture “The Beaver” may be the actor’s last movie.  Mel Gibson doesn’t care if he acts anymore.  So what’s in store for the actor?  As Gibson tries to heal from all the controversy will the public still want to see his movies?

HOPES OF SETTLING BATTLE FOR CUSTODY

Mel’s ex-girlfriend, Oksana shocked the court when she dropped the domestic abuse accusations hoping to settle their battle for child custody.  Oksana’s lawyer says Gibson’s ranting recordings of some awful remarks may not be used to prove his client’s custody dispute.

MEL’S NEW FLING STELLA MOUZI

Mel now 55 year’s old goes insane for his new 25-year-old Ukraine girlfriend, Stella Mouzi who is a dancer and performer.  Shown in skimpy clothes at the 2011 LA Film Festival you wonder if Mouzi knows about Mel from hell.  Maybe she doesn’t care about Mel’s bad behavior.  Does Mouzi give a screw?

HORSE AND CARRIAGE MARRIAGE

It’s no longer a horse and carriage marriage.  Mel Gibson, a megastar and former wife, Robyn Moore of 31 years with seven children and three grandchildren call it quits reaching an undisclosed settlement after two years of legal proceedings.   Since they had no prenup, under California law half of her husband’s fortune could go to Robyn Gibson Moore.  On December 24th, 2011 Kris Kringle climbed down the chimney with a gift for Mel Gibson making him a single man once again as his ex-wife Robyn’s divorce decree is finalized and she received 1/2 billion.

GIBSON EX-GIRLFRIEND $750,000 SETTLEMENT

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Peter Lichtman tells Mel Gibson he must pay his ex-girlfriend, Russian musician Oksana Grigorieva $750,000 to settle long-term custody battle and establish trust fund for their daughter.  In addition Gibson will continue paying for a multimillion-dollar home where his ex and 2-year-old daughter, Lucia live until she turns 18.  Then the home will be sold with proceeds going to Lucia.  Judge says Gibson and Grigorieva relationship must be “hush-hush.”

ANTI-SEMITIC GIBSON BIBLICAL MOTION PICTURE

Even an anti-semitic gets to do a Jewish motion picture.  The Oscar winner who was accused of Anti-Semitism language on a Sheriff’s deputy in a 2008 DUI despite everything is not preventing Warner Bros. and Mel Gibson from filming the life of a hero “Biblical Jewish Warrior Judah Maccabee.”

SCRRENWRITER ACCUSES GIBSON OF ANTI-SEMITISM

On Thursday, April 12, 2012  a mad Mel Gibson lashes back at “Basic Instinct” screenwriter Joe Eszterhas for accusing “Braveheart” star of anti-Semitism, calling comments “utter fabrications” because he was angry over a rejected film script.  Upon hearing about it, Eszterhas sent a lengthy letter to Gibson accusing him of having no intentions on making biblical movie “The Maccabees.”

MEL GIBSON’S RANTING WHILE VACATIONING IN COSTA RICA

Joe Eszterhas released an audio tape of Mel Gibson screaming while vacationing in Costa Rica about killing Oksana,  his hate for Jews, and praising the guy who killed John Lennon.  Then he blasts Joe, “Why don’t I have the first draft of ‘The Maccabees’  – What the f**k have you been you doing?”  You can hear Mel slamming objects around the house.  He turns  his anger on ex-wife Oksana, “I’m earning money for a filthy little c**tsucker who takes advantage of me.”

MEL ON ‘JAY LENO”

Mel tells Jay Leno laughing may be you don’t know this about me, but “I’ve got a bit of a temper.”  Jay Leno looking astonished said, “Really!”  Mel replied, “I apologized.”  Gibson was on the show to plug his latest movie, “Get the Gringo.”

GIBSON’S NEW YOUNG LADY

There’s a new girl in town and she’s a model and aspiring musician named Nadia Lanfronconi from Italy who loves to wear sexy “Fme Jeans.”  Nadia seems to be Gibson’s new dream lady.  They were recently seen together at a West Hollywood eatery.  Nadia has only been in the states for five years so she may not be aware of Mel Gibon’s previous up and down love affairs.

OSCAR-WINNING GIBSON AND HOLLYWOOD STUNTWOMAN

56-year-old Gibson was seen cuddling up to 38-year-old Ashley Cusato a Hollywood stuntwoman over sushi for two at a restaurant in Malibu.  Cusato has doubled for many A-List actresses, including the beautiful Jennifer Aniston who starred in “Rumor Has It” in addition to Penelope Cruz, Denise Richards and Anne Hathaway.  Her movie screen stunt credits include Bay Watch, Cop Land and Alias.

GIBSON ADORES FOSTER

Mel Gibson just adores Jodie Foster.  After she received the Cecile B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award at 2013 Golden Globes, Mel says he worships the ground she walks on.  Foster has always been loyal to Gibson throughout his controversy even when she cast him in her 2011 movie “The Beaver.”  Hey everyone including Mel knew she was “gay.”

VILLAIN GIBSON

This will be Gibson’s first role as a villain in “Machete Kills” a Robert Rodriquez film with lots of swords and knives.  Should we get ready to root for this wise guy?  It’s the troubled star’s first on-screen acting gig following “Get the Gringo” and “The Beaver” directed by Jodie Foster’s ignored drama.

In addition to “Machete Kills” Gibson will be playing a villain in “Expendables 3″ another Sly move.

MEL GIBSON BATTERY CONVICTION

Mel Gibson’s Battery Conviction for his smack-attack against then-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva to be expunged.  LA court vacates Mel Gibson’s 2011 domestic violence conviction.

* * * * * *

© Copyright 2011 – 2014

Created by (Francke) Lyrical Yankee

(Fighting Domestic Violence Against Women)

All Rights Reserved






Posted by sheila on July 23, 2010 under Celebrity Crimes in Rhyme, Mel "Mad Max" from Hell Gibson | Be the First to Comment

© 2014 Francke the Lyrical Yankee (FLY). All Rights Reserved.

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